just came back from parent/teacher conference

junebug

junebug

New member
wow. i know there are some teachers on here. any input would be great if you have it. i wasn't expected to hear that if Chloe doesn't pick up a lot between now and the end of the school year that the teacher may recommend that she repeat Kindergarten. it would be just a recommendation, we wouldn't have to hold her back, they don't consider repeating kindergarten failing i guess. but she said she would hate to have her move on to 1st grade next year if she wasn't learning all she needed to now and then fail 1st grade. i understand that comepletely. i thought chloe was doing okay. we know she has speech problems, and she is going to be getting help with that. when i quizz her at home, she does pretty good. not perfect, but she's only 5. i think they are learning a lot more now in kindergarten than when we went. they are learning their full names, address, phone number and birthdays. they are learning to read. i dont remember learning this stuff until 1st grade. she knows her colors. she struggles with counting to 20. struggles with some of the alphabet, though at home she seems to know it. the teacher says she has focus isuues, like she's not paying enough attention and is often off in her own world. like, she showed me an apple that they told her to color red. which she did, but then she colored over it in purple. or they told her to color something black and she colored it brown. she's a very smart little girl and the teacher knows this and says she sees her trying her very best and thats good. she's also very artistic and she was impressed one day at the picture of a dress that she drew on the marker board one day, that it was very symetrical, and detailed. Chloe is a lot like i was, always drawing or coloring and sometimes when kids are like that everything else kind of takes a back seat. i know my daughter is smart and i'm so proud of her for trying her best and i'm glad the teacher sees that. i really like her teacher, nothing against her. and her teacher seems to adore Chloe, kept saying how sweet is and well mannered (lol she's a brat at home!)

so i stopped at dollar general to get her some more crayons and i also picked up some $1 workbooks, connect the dots, writing out the alphabet and word stuff like that. she just finished the entire connect the dot book, lol. it wasn't very big for $1 but still. and i looked through it and she did it all right. the teacher said this was something she struggled with. its like she does good at home with me, but at school she struggles. maybe she get nervous. i don't know. but i am going to start working with her even more. i don't really want her to repeat kindergarten.
 
I has this same conference with my 5th grader's teacher..he's FINE with stuff @ home most days..but he's just out there in class..I do know though when they get in trouble they go to this "Opportunity Room" (instead of having the title of in school suspension..they do everything in this one room)

my son LOVES it..lol...I think having 17 other kids in a classroom w/him is distracting. One reason he did sooo well when we homeschooled. Some kids just do better 1 on 1 than mixed in with a group of other kids

Good luck!! I'm sure she's a brilliant kid that is just having a little hard time adjusting to being around a lot of other kids
 
I think it is still really early to be talking about holding her back. I mean school just started here at the end of August so Im assuming it did for your daughter too or at least sometime thereafter? You will be absolutely amazed how quickly things click over time. My daughter could barely read starting first grade and she went from the lowest reading level to the highest in less then nine weeks. She read every book assigned her plus some. So it is very possible that she will pick it all up and go even further. Just work with her on what they send home. Look online for learning activities. I have some websites that are good for that age level I can give you to get games/ideas/worksheets for free. Just gotta find the paper.
 
Not a teacher, so I can't offer any professional advice, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My son did this same thing last year in Kindergarten. He, however, is very shy and I think that is what brought on his struggles at school. At home, he would fly through his sight words but the teacher claimed that this was one of the areas that he was struggling in. I really didn't understand, but, like you, we increased the amount of time that we spent working with him at home and bought workbooks for him to practice with. In the end, it was recommended that he attend summer school. We enrolled him, even though it was not easy to arrange transportation since we both work full time, and he was bored the whole time he was there because things were too easy for him and it was stuff that he already learned. Needless to say, he is now in first grade and as far as we know, doing very well.

I think that you are doing the right thing by working with her at home. That reinforcement goes a long way!
 
I was also going to say that it sounds like she is probably distracted and that the classroom environment is over-stimulating.

when my son stepped into his kindy classroom for the first time his immediate comment was that it was mess :D. But it wasn't. There were just lots and lots and lots of things to look at, all the walls covered with words, pictures, etc. It made his head hurt.
 
thanks. i called my mom and she basically said the same thing; its still early. she started in the middle/near the end of august. and my mom said they said the same thing about me when i was in kindergarten and she told them they were nuts, lol. i never flunked a grade. so i do think she'll be fine. thats why i was so surprised to hear this cause she does great at home with me. she was very shy at first but now the teacher says she is very well adusted now in that aspect. the teacher one time sent home a list of websites with fun activites for kindergarteners but i can't find it, so any help would be greatly apreciated.
 
I just emailed my sons old teacher who was the one who gave me alot of the sites. She is super nice and is teaching kindergartners this year so she will probably have some ideas. If I was to suggest some sites Id say Nick Jr and PBS Kids would probably have some learning games. My kids are all older so I dont really remember what tehy were doing at that age. I think alot of it though is just repetition. Like learning their alphabet/numbers...it is just practice, practice, practice
junebug said:
thanks. i called my mom and she basically said the same thing; its still early. she started in the middle/near the end of august. and my mom said they said the same thing about me when i was in kindergarten and she told them they were nuts, lol. i never flunked a grade. so i do think she'll be fine. thats why i was so surprised to hear this cause she does great at home with me. she was very shy at first but now the teacher says she is very well adusted now in that aspect. the teacher one time sent home a list of websites with fun activites for kindergarteners but i can't find it, so any help would be greatly apreciated.
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I think it's also WAYYY too early to even begin suggesting holding her back. Another thing is that I would ask for a specific set of goals that you should all be working towards for your daughter. Not just vague 'she's not doing enough'. Ask what specific things you should be doing and should be accomplishing to help her along.
 
I haven't read the other responses, but this sounds SO familiar I HAD to post!

A good friend of mine (M) homeschools her kids. Her oldest son (Z) learned very quickly and could read/write/say his alphabet/count by about 4 years. She sent him to kindergarten and thought that he was fine until PT interviews. The teacher told M that Z couldn't jump up & down, say his alphabet, count to 10, etc, and M should consider holding him back the next year. Well, that made NO sense to her because he COULD do all these things at home.

So she made an appointment with her doctor and eventually a specialist, and they found out that he has a sensory deficiency. Basically what was happening was the bright colors of the posters, toys, walls, everything really, combined with the chaos of having 15 other kids playing & running around was overwhelming him, and causing him to virtually shut down. He literally COULDN'T jump up and down, say his alphabet, count when there was so much activity around him.

After a few more tests they actually found that he had 3 or 4 charactaristics in the autism spectrum. He is not autistic, but he has a few tendancies that are the same. Now that they know this, he is doing MUCH better!!
 
First, I know many of you don't like the fact the teacher mentioned retention at the end of October.. As a first grade teacher I feel it is our responsibility to inform the parent early enough that if continued progress is not made, the possiblity of retention can happen. All too often I hear parents complain how they 'didn't know' their child was struggling.. yet I pull out the conference forms, the progress reports, the report card, the emails and documentation from phone calls and they still get upset at me because I didn't 'warn them' or 'tell them in advance enough'

*grrrr* sorry personal rant

Now as a first grade teacher, I have students who were placed into the grade level because the parents denied retention. In Texas, Kindergarten is not "required" so the parents get the 'final' decision. These kiddos struggle all year long.. and I end up retaining them.

About your daughter.. yes it is early in the year and adjustments are still being made. Kindergarten curriculum is jammed packed.. you don't show up color, cut and paste, take a nap, eat lunch and have recess in my city. These kiddos are doing experiments, have standards they have to meet, vocabulary to learn and on and on. At the "Meet the Teacher" this fall, a father said to me, so is *her name* going to learn to add and subtract?? I told him the kiddos would be learning addition and subtraction strategies this first 9 weeks and explained what else his daughter would learn throughout the year. I showed the dad some of the vocabulary and new pieces of curriculum we had received and he was shocked to say the least at what his daughter would be learning. The state keeps dropping areas of curriculum down the chain and soon the pK kids will be adding and subtracting.

I suggest putting the work books away and doing more 'fun' type of practice. Practice spelling and naming the letters of the alphabet in shaving cream, flour, cornstarch, sand etc.. same with numbers. When you go to the cupboard to grab a can of something to cook with, have your daughter name letters or the simple sight words. I spot the word 'and' can you find it.. Do this at the grocery store, in the car, wherever. Make her learning 'real life'. Cooking is good for number practice in the easiest terms. Pulling out workbooks is like school and I have had many students in the past tell their parents they are not their teacher and refuse to practice. When they 'practiced' in real life situations, the stress level was gone and the child had fun and learned at the same time.

*I hope some of this makes sense* lol

I will go and look for some of the sites I use with my students *I'm on the last few weeks of maternity leave and the sites are on my class computer* One great site I use for my low performing readers is starfall.com.

I hope I helped a little.

*a thought* spelling words and sight words should not be practiced in the order they are on the 'sheet' I have students practicing by reading the words off of the sheet.. memorizing the order and not what the word says. The child comes to me, takes their quiz. fails. The parent freaks because they can read the words at home.. in essence the child only memorized the order of the words.. when I mixed the words up, it rocked their world.
 
i do a lot of 'real life' stuff like that Kelly. and that is kind of what she said from the start; that she was just letting me know so that at the end of the year i wouldn't be like "hey, you never said blah blah blah" lol. i have nothing against her, nor am i mad; just surprised but also glad i was warned so that i can help her out more. when i do help her, i try to make it fun and thats when she does seem to do okay. i forgot that the teacher did mention that maybe there i something well, i hate to use the term 'wrong with her' but than maybe somthing in her brain just isn't 'clicking'. i did mention the studies i have read aboutthe kids with parents that have PTSD (my DH). they think sometimes the kids can develop problems of their own because of what that parent is going through. she encouraged me to come in and talk to the counselor to see if maybe she knew something about this. i'm just afraid i'll find out my kid has ADHD or something. i really don't like the idea of giving kids meds. but i'm going to do everything i can to help her out.

oh, and i do let her play games on Noggin/nick jr etc. she loves it!
 
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I could lose my license to even suggest to a parent their child has 'something wrong with them'. I am not a medical professional, so I would never diagnose a child. The only thing a teacher should do IMO is to explain the behaviors he/she is seeing to the parent and refer them to their pediatrician. After the pediatrician, perhaps the school counselor could then help.

It's amazing how kiddos change over Christmas.. maturity has a huge impact on learning. When is her birthday?? Is she a summer birthday? You'll see her blossom and grow after Christmas and by the end of the year, you'll be so pleased with how much she has learned.

PTSD definetly can impact children.. does DH receive counseling for it? If he does, perhaps the person who treats him could advise you on the effects and what can be done to 'watch' for the signs.

Also ADHD is a medical diagnosis and you'd have to talk to your Pedi about it. There are forms I have filled out for the doctors when they are gathering info for an ADHD eval but other than that, I have never experienced a school diagnosing a kiddo.

junebug said:
i do a lot of 'real life' stuff like that Kelly. i try to make it fun and thats when she does seem to do okay. i forgot that the teacher did mention that maybe there i something well, i hate to use the term 'wrong with her' but than maybe somthing in her brain just isn't 'clicking'. i did mention the studies i have read aboutthe kids with parents that have PTSD (my DH). they think sometimes the kids can develop problems of their own because of what that parent is going through. she encouraged me to come in and talk to the counselor to see if maybe she knew something about this. i'm just afraid i'll find out my kid has ADHD or something. i really don't like the idea of giving kids meds. but i'm going to do everything i can to help her out.

oh, and i do let her play games on Noggin/nick jr etc. she loves it!
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Hey Corey-

K teacher here, so I'll try to give a bit of input, though I don't know the year-end goals for your child's school...(and sorry, this is long....I'm quite wordy...:o )

It IS hard to say at the beginning of the year who will need the "gift of time" and who will be ready to go on. Those kids you think just might not get it all of a sudden have that "aha" moment, and start to...and they go so much further than I ever would guess! That being said, when we have our conferences in a couple of weeks, there WILL be a couple of parents getting the "I have some serious concerns" speech from me. This goes back a bit to Kelly's "personal rant"...If the teachers don't say it now, there's no gaurantee they're going to get another crack at it until it's too late in the year. We joke (though it's really not funny) as a staff about how we can tell which parents react to their conferences, by the improvements their students make in school. We call it the "kick in the pants" talk. Not saying *YOU* needed that version of the talk, since it sounds like you've been working with your DD...but for some parents, that first conference is the wake-up call that Kindergarten IS a lot of academics, and that they really do need to be doing more to help their child meet those goals. Here's my attempt at a silver lining---isn't it better to know NOW that she's having some struggles, when you really can put in the time and effort with her, when you can monitor her progress ALL YEAR, as opposed to hearing this in March or April, when it would have been too late to catch up? Now, if she's behind, she's got months and months to catch up, rather than trying to cram a year of learning into weeks? Try not to take the "talk" you had personally, instead, try to view it as a gift, so that you can really take those steps to help your DD be ready for first grade...

Next, I'll say that *Kelly* gave you an awesome answer, and she's got some great ideas for non-workbook things to do!

One of my favorite websites (also mentioned by Kelly) for my students to go to is www.starfall.com, which has WONDERFUL activities for kids learning letters, sounds, sight words, etc. For your DD, I'd suggest doing the ABC activities, where they can practice/listen to the names of letters and their sounds. My kindergarteners love it, and I love letting them use it!

If your DD's teacher has any concern about her printing, you can check out the website www.handwritingworksheets.com, which lets you pick which font to use (d'nealian or "basic print" (also called Zaner Bloser)), and you can print out anything you want her to practice--first and last names, letters, sight words, etc. Even better is if you pick up a pack of fine tip dry erase markers and those plastic sleeves for paper (you know, like you put a fancy paper in), and then slide the pages you print inside, and she can practice the same page as often as she wants, without you having to print a thousand copies of it!

It sounds like you are really willing to do what you need to help your DD be successful, and that's always a huge part of the battle with helping a child succeed. DO NOT be afraid to call/email/contact your DD's teacher to find out exactly what your DD is learning, and what you need to be working on most to help her succeed. She'll appreciate knowing you want to do more, and the increased communication will only help YOU know what your DD needs...and what the teacher's exact concerns are. Have you seen a copy of the report card yet? (I'm guessing yes, since you've had conferences) That should have all of the essential goals for the year on it, and if there's any part of it you aren't sure on (I know they can be confusing!), ask the teacher that too! Ask about how the assessments are done, and, unfortunately, realize that the teacher needs to score your DD on how she performs at school, not how she performs for you. That being said, the more proficient your DD is at doing these tasks for you, and the more at ease she is with them, the more easily she will do them for her teacher.

Sorry this is so long...hope it makes sense, and provides a little bit of insight for you...Good luck, and know that your work with your DD WILL make a difference, but you have to keep up with it! Parental involvement means sooooo much!!!
 
thanks for the websites! i have them in my faves and i'm going to check them out. Kelly, her birthday is December 27th and she'll be 6. and i am glad that her teacher let me know now. i would have been devastated if i had not been told ahead of time and it would be too late to help her. i know she has it in her to do everything she needs to do, she just needs a little extra push. and i love that her teacher is very open with me and is very encouraging to Chloe. she really is an awesome teacher. Chloe is very lucky.

thanks again!
 
I haven't read any of the advice the other ladies have offered, but the first parent/teacher conference we had last year (when Mason was in kindergarten) they said the exact same thing. But, I will say that they worked with him to grow in the areas he was having trouble so that he was able to move on.

IMO the first part of the year is the hardest on them - they're getting used to the new routine and learning so much, plus having to interact with other kids their own age and adults they don't really know yet. It's hard on kids, and in Mason's experience, once he got more comfortable, he started doing really well.

Try not to worry too much about it...just keep the lines of communication open with the teacher and find out where she needs help every once in a while, and work with her in those areas if they feel she's not getting better. I'm SURE that she'll be fully up to par by the end of the Kindergarten year! :)
 
junebug said:
i wasn't expected to hear that if Chloe doesn't pick up a lot between now and the end of the school year that the teacher may recommend that she repeat Kindergarten. .
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I haven't read everyone else's comments.

I know that I legally have to tell a parent at this time that retention is being considered if I have any idea that the child is below grade level in any area. (phew....that was a mouthful) MOST kids do a HUGE amount of maturing between now and the end of January. Continue to help Chloe at home and keep in touch with the teacher. Find out what kind of assessment they do, so that you can concentrate your efforts at home.

The whole, "Retention is being considered at this time" is strictly a CYA for the teacher, school, and district. We have to inform you so that IF it happens in June it's not a surprise.

My daughter, Annika is also in Kindergarten. I purchased Jumpstart World (Kinder) and she LOVES it. It has totally helped her with many of the skills that she needs by the end of kinder.

Good luck and big hugs.
 
I had the same conversation with my twins teachers but the mention of holding them back was never said.....they both do well at home with stuff but struggle at school. I have seen an improvement in one of them but not the other yet. They too will turn 6 on December 19th so I hope they do get better by then or we may be in trouble too.

FYI, they both spend 1/2 hour 4 times a week with a language teacher and seem to be catching on well with that so I am keeping my fingers crossed as well.
 
I agree that the requirements of kid are huge this days.
My son is in pre-k since he was 2 (he is just to turn 3) and they are learning to count to 20 AND know how many are 1, 2, 3 items. Colors in spanish and english. Count to 10 in English, shapes, concepts as far and close, in and out, fast and slow, and I remember the last PT meeting hearing things as trow a ball over his head, jump up and down and the are my kiddo strugle, pain within the borders.

I do think is a lot for a kid, but I'm also aware that he need my help to go with the curriculum so he won't struggle in the future
 
As a former teacher, my opinion is that it's always better for parents to be prepared for that possiblity early on that to be hit with it come April or May. I would not stress out about it; as long as you can see her making progress, then she's probably okay.
 
Corey,

My husband and I were completely against meds and thought an ADHD diagnosis was an easy (no offense to the teachers here). But after getting so many notes sent home about how DS was distracted and disrupting the class and whatnot we decided to have him tested and sure enough an ADHD diagnosis came back. Josh had a very high IQ score which I guess is very common in ADD & ADHD kids and did not have any learning disabilities but he just was not good at sitting still and paying attention in class. When the teacher worked 1 on 1 with him he was awesome so we also discovered it was a stimulation thing of being in a class of 25 kids. He went on Meds 1/2 way through 2nd grade and did a 180. He only takes the meds for school, not on weekends or vacations. Its in and out of his system in 8 hours and it's the best thing we could have ever done for him. Not telling you that you need to do the same thing for Chloe but I wanted to let you know our experience.
 
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