Any other moms of biters???? Help!!!

amystoffel

amystoffel

New member
My first DS was never a biter...never even took a little nip at anyone. My 18 month old is suddenly Dracula. He bit his playmate, so imagine when I returned this little girl home with a HUGE mouth shaped bruise on her arm. He is biting himself. He bit his brother. And last night we were watching a movie and he bit me through a blanket and pajamas...I have a gigantic purple welt with almost like a blood blister in the middle!

What do I do? How have you stopped your kids from biting?
 
oh man good luck

Lemme just say..I was a biter as a kid. I bit my brother once and my mom made him bite me back. That cured me
 
I actually have anxiety from my first dd about biting. I panic when my girls put thier mouths on me. Really she was the worst. Never bit anyone but me. Sophia 16mos. just started to. She thinks it's so funny..until I bite her back. ;)
 
I found that was the only thing that worked for us too, when ever one of my girls would bite, I'd let the other bite her back. It got real bad for a while before I finally started letting them bite back. For a long time now it's been rare that it happens, but when it does, they come and tell on themselves!!! LOL.
 
My son is a biter, but he mostly bites himself. I mean, how do you stop it when he's biting himself. He gets mad and bites his hands, they are often all scabbed up from it. He has also bite me and his dad, but not as often. The thing that sucks is that I get freaked out now when he puts his mouth anywhere near me. I just don't know how to stop it either, I have tried everything.
 
Yeah, I wish I had an answer for this. My DD2 bites DD1 all the time, and even when DD1 bites back, DD2 will bite back harder! I stick her in the crib for 2 minutes and keep telling her no biting. I'm at a loss. I hope it's just a stage!
 
okay...so it seems you all agree...bite them back? I don't know how I can bring myself to do it! But I guess if he bites again I will :)
 
My DS was a biter. A lot of people said to bite him back and I really had a hard time with that...I mean, here I am wanting him to STOP biting and I bite him? It just seemed not right for our situation. We got a couple of great books and read them over and over and over and over. I also gave him this little blanket thing with teethers on the end and when he got mad he could bite that but nothing else. At the time, he was still in daycare (I was teaching still), and his daycare teachers helped, too. We had to be very consistant, but in the end it worked.

However, with that said, a LOT of people said biting back was ok, including our Dr. I just couldn't do it, that's all. :)
 
i was a biter when i was little too. my mom bit me back pretty hard and i never did it again. ever. tough love, mama.
 
Last edited:
I really hope that Avalynne doesn't end up being a biter! Babies teeth are SO sharp!

When I was like a week old, Bree stuck my hand in her mouth and bit really hard. Mom says that I had teeth marks across my little newborn fingers (ouch), so she grabbed her, and bit Bree's fingers, and that was that. Never bit again.

I can see the whole issus about "if I'm trying to teach my kid NOT to bite, how can I bit HIM" though. Its a catch-22 I think. But at the same time, I think its more to let them know that it HURTS. Sometimes they don't understand what that really means. Hurts is just a word. Until they understand that its a FEELING, they will continue biting, not realizing or understanding that there is a consequence.
 
My DS has been a biter. He bit me on the back of the leg and drew blood. I didn't know how to make him stop either. Until one day he walked up and just bit my arm - hard - and those little teeth are like razors. I turned around and bit him back. And that was the end of it. I too had been terrified to bite him back, but I had to show him just how much it hurts. I tried telling him that our teeth are for eating food not biting people.

We also ran into a problem at daycare. One day, they called me after he had been there for 2 hours and said he had bit 3 kids. In another hour, they called again - he had bit a total of 6 kids - all unprovoked AND he bit the straps off of his crocks (shoes). He got the boot from daycare. So, I said something is wrong and took him to the doctor that afternoon. He had a horrible ear infection. He is hearing impaired and sometimes has a hard time communicating and I think he was biting to let people know he didn't feel good.

Luckily, he has since stopped biting and I hope he is done with that for good!!!
 
My DS was such a biter...I mean been kicked outta three day cares biter....I was also told to bit him back but i just couldn't do it... So I tried everthing...and finally one day we were out at a store and he bit me so hard i started bleeding...so when we got to the car I bit him back...he hasn't bitten since....it works...no matter how hard it may be to bite him hehe
 
I've been told I was a biter until one of my cousins was told to bite me back...and that did it.
Everybody that I've known with a biter has the same advice...bite them back. They'll realize it's not funny and that it hurts, and hopefully will stop.
 
I know it sounds mean but it works. You're not de-emphasizing not biting by biting, you're just showing your child how it feels to be on the other end of the bite.
 
Allright...next time Dracula takes a chomp....eeek....I'll bite him. I know docs and books say not to do it...but how can an 18 month old understand unless he feels it I guess. Yowza. I'll let you gals know how it goes.
 
Paula said:
I know it sounds mean but it works. You're not de-emphasizing not biting by biting, you're just showing your child how it feels to be on the other end of the bite.
Click to expand...

Exactly. :thumbup:

I have done this with both of my kids, Amy, it really does work. JJ still bites occasionally but he only bites when Abby is being mean to him, and I let her bite him back and he stops right away.
 
Amy, please think about this just a little more before you make up your mind.

I'll respectfully go against the grain here and say that I really think biting your child is NOT the answer to stopping biting.

I know all about biting and getting kicked out of day care, etc. I worked at a small day care and we really couldn't afford to kick any kids out if you know what I mean. So the director tried MANY things for this sweet little boy who was SUCH a biter.

I'll tell you, I quit that daycare and reported the director to the State because she was biting little Mr. O when he would bite. I was so horrified. Not only did she step over her boundaries....that is NOT an acceptable form of punishment!...but it's also just mean IMO.

I mean, if your little man threw a toy at you and hit you in the eye, would you throw a toy back at him?

If he slapped you in the face, would you do that back?

Now I'm not anti-spanking. I believe the punishment for a child has to be different for each child and different for each infraction. Nathan...I barely swatted his butt 3x in his entire life...Naomi is a little fiestier and I have to smack her hand all the time to stop her from touching the stove, the outlet, etc...

I just don't think biting your child is the right answer when there are so many other things to try first. I mean, you said it yourself...because he's bitten you, sometimes you feel afraid of the cutest person on the planet...well do you want him to feel that away about you? Another poster said that she has anxiety over her child biting her. Well if you bite back, he could have anxiety over this too. It could not only NOT solve the problem but it could make it worse!!! I mean, you're an adult and have the emotional maturity to process that he didn't really want to hurt you. He's just a little guy who shouldn't be afraid of mommy biting him.

Here are some resources I like for biting. I did a little research when little Mr. O was in my classroom.

This is my favorite:

http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/linda_passmark.html

http://www.reallifesolutions.net/family/toddler-biting.html

http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/poptopics/biting.html

((hugs)) to you. This is a tough thing to go through but don't knee-jerk react. Just because some parents say it's okay to punish your child one way doesn't mean you don't want to do your research and think it through! I wouldn't bite my child unless I had exhausted ALL other options and seen a developmental pediatrician.
 
I think 12-18 months is such a hard age too, because they aren't mature enough to understand and vocalize much, but even if they do understand, they can't really control themselves enough to stop. It's so hard, and I'm glad I don't have to go through it again LOL!

Good luck whatever you decide Amy.
 
Ok, so what do you do when the biter has no problem biting himself? I seriously have no idea what to do to get him to stop. I have tried everything except biting him back cause he's already doing it, he knows what it feels like. He is going to be starting daycare soon and I am terrified that he will get kicked out for it.
 
Well, my little Dracula tried on several different times yesterday to bite me and I just kept pushing him off and saying no. Then...he bit a babysitter last night within 10 minutes of my leaving... arrrgh. And Mari...my DS bites himself too. Hard. He leaves marks, draws blood. Lena's links are on my to do list today.
 
Lena, I respect what you're saying, but some of it seems like you're attacking us moms who have done that. I am offended by this line:
I mean, you're an adult and have the emotional maturity to process that he didn't really want to hurt you. He's just a little guy who shouldn't be afraid of mommy biting him.
Click to expand...

Yes I am adult and I am quite mature. I KNOW that my child didn't mean to hurt me. But, just as with anything else, he needs to learn what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. I mean, you would spank your child when he disobeys. Wouldn't he be afraid of you for hitting him too?

I don't consider it a knee jerk reaction to bite my child back when he bites me. That is exactly what my pediatrician told me to do when I asked him.

And my child was NEVER afraid of me. Ever! Why would he be afraid? It isn't a standard practice for me to bite my child, so why would he be afraid that I would do it? It's different when it's the child doing the biting. For one, he doesn't understand that it hurts. When my son bit, I did the "no no" thing and it didn't work and he kept biting. Then, after he bit a little girl and I had to pay for the doctor visit, I took him in to the pediatrician and that's when he told me to bite back. The first time my son did that, I bit him back. Has he ever bitten since? NO!
 
Last edited:
Well I surely didn't mean to offend you or anyone Paula!!!! I'm so sorry that I did!I was just stating my opinion on the matter, just like everyone else did.

And to answer your question, why would a child be afraid of mommy biting? Well I'm just going off of what two posters in the thread wrote...they are afraid of their child or have anxiety...when they get near thier child they fear s/he is going to bite them. Is it not possible that if mommy bites back, the child will feel the same way? If an emotionally mature adult can feel fear and anxiety over being bitten, then a child can surely feel the same way. JMHO!

We all make our parenting choices. I do a lot of things that other people don't agree with. I cosleep. Some people think that's very dangerous and I respect their opinion but don't agree with it. I don't keep my children in rear facing carseats until they are 5. Some people think that is reckless. My children forward face after 22 lbs and 1 year. I respect their opinion but don't agree with it. My sons are circumcized, my daughter has her ears pierced...the list goes on and on and on of things that I've done as a parent that others wouldn't agree with. I wouldn't want someone judging me for my parenting decisions and I don't judge others for theirs...but I do feel strongly about this and wanted to share my experience with this. I think biting a child who bites is counterproductive and not a good idea...and most medical and social literature backs that theory up. I KNOW for a fact that many people disagree with that. I knew coming into this thread that I would be the odd person out, and that's okay. I simply wanted to make sure Amy saw another perspective. :)
 
I respect what you're saying Lena. My SIL doesn't bite back either for many of the same reasons. I guess we need to look at our children and judge for ourselves what is good and what isn't. My kids responded when I bit them back and never did it again. Did this make them afraid of me? No.

And, we do a lot of the same things. I co-slept with all three of my children. I also graduated my kids into forward facing seats when they hit one year as long as they were in the 20 lbs weight. My son is circumcised and both my DDs have pierced ears. I also let me DDs dye their hair and I've got a lot of flack for that from my MIL.

Let's just agree to disagree on this. It worked for me and apparently many others here. But what was good for me and my kids may not be good for you and yours.
 
Of course, Paula! If we all agreed on everything, then my plan to rule the world would be complete!

I just didn't realize that what I wrote would be found offensive, that was never my intent! I'm sorry to stir the pot! (((hugs)))
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2026 XenForo Ltd.
Back
Top