I am screaming inside here....

Kat Stokes

Kat Stokes

New member
I sat DS down to do his homework at 6:20 this evening. He's in first grade. This is the first night of homework. I turned off the tv, kept the baby quiet by feeding him and he has fiddle-farted around and still is not done with it. I am ready to throttle the kid. :cursing: DH keeps telling me I have to learn to deal with it because he is gone 3 nights a week. If this is how it's going to be for the next 11-12 years, just shoot me now............

I have finally moved him to the table in the other room and told him to not come out until it is done. This is not rocket science. If he wanted to do it, it would be done in 2 minutes. He just doesn't want to. And I am going crazy....
 
Oh dear. They get homework in 1st grade? I'm in TROUBLE. LOL! I know Mason will be the exact same way, so I feel for you!
 
NOt a parent of a school-grade kid (yet) but I did teach 3rd grade for awhile. First grade seems a little young (especially at the beginning of the year) for him to just do it by himself... Can you sit next to him and coach him from problem to problem?

I dread the day my kids bring home homework! I think homework should just be a way for school to make a connection at home, not to teach anything. Just a review...but I won't go off on my tangent of why I think schools give too much homework these days, anyway! :)
 
What kind of homework is it? Does it have directions he needs to read? Maybe you could read the directions to him, or have him read them to you ... to make sure he understands the task? I'm sorry he's taking his time with it. My other thought is maybe the time to do it could be moved up to an earlier time ... would give him incentive to finish so that he can go play or watch a favorite show or whatever he looks forward to?

HUGS!!! I'm just starting out with a kindergartner for the first time this fall, so I haven't been there yet!

Melinda
 
mrsmbm said:
NOt a parent of a school-grade kid (yet) but I did teach 3rd grade for awhile. First grade seems a little young (especially at the beginning of the year) for him to just do it by himself... Can you sit next to him and coach him from problem to problem?

I dread the day my kids bring home homework! I think homework should just be a way for school to make a connection at home, not to teach anything. Just a review...but I won't go off on my tangent of why I think schools give too much homework these days, anyway! :)
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Yeah, I have to agree with you. Homework can definitely be overdone by some teachers. (I'm an unemployed teacher, hee hee) You said the same thing I was trying to say, but much more eloquently ... he probably needs a bit more coaching. It's hard getting into that routine, I think, and the directions can be pretty ambiguous!

~Melinda
 
omg, I feel for you! My girls aren't near there yet, but I used to help my nephew. He's always been super smart, and great with his sight words and knew most of them before the first grade even, and half way through the year, he just didn't wanna do it anymore. I'd sit with him and have him read thru his 'story' problems - whew, those things would take an hour. He'd sound out a word - puh luh aaaaaa yyyyyy, then when I'd ask him to put it all together, he'd come up with 'krumptington?' RARRRRRRRR Used to drive me up the wall!
I do hope it gets better for you both!!
 
My oldest was in first grade last year and I was a bit startled by the amount of homework that he had. Math each night, a booklet of vocab words (with sentences), and sometimes other story worksheets.

Our rule was that homework was to be completed at 4:00 pm. This gave him 30 mins after school to relax and grab a snack, then he had to get down to work. What we do, is to have him sit at the kitchen table and at this time of day, I was making dinner, so I was right there when he needed me. I kept the TV off and noise to a minimum and did my best to keep him on task (no getting up to play, goof off with his brother, etc.) I found that the more consistent I was, the less trouble he would give me.
 
I think it's a tough adjustment for them to make and a lot of teachers seem to be giving more and more homework at much younger grades now. I swear I don't remember doing homework until Grade 2 or 3 at the earliest, but my niece and nephew were getting it in Kindergarten. :blink:

At that age, I think most kids will need at least some gentle guidance. It's not necessarily that they can't do it, it's just very difficult for them to understand why they're doing it and why they should be focusing all their energy on something like that. It's probably better to spend the time helping them at this early stage, so they start associating it with being an enjoyable activity. Then hopefully it doesn't have to be 11 - 12 years of headaches. Maybe make it some fun together time and then slowly wean him off of needing your help so much?
 
I would get so annoyed with my son and he got homework in kindergarten and first grade. He would complain and not try and when he did try it would him hours to do it. He was tested and he has a learning disability which keeps him from being able to do the work. I have to sit with him and give him specific instructions on what to do and even then sometimes it takes a long time. I can suggest a few things though. Try breaking the homework down into smaller portions. Give him a timer to time how long it takes him and try making it a game to "beat himself". Reward him when he reaches a certain point and praise him when he does what hes supposed to. If he continues to struggle speak to his teacher because it could just be something he doesnt understand just yet and might need to slow down or it might even be to easy and it bores him. That is what happened with me. I was doing really badly in school because I was so bored. They did testing and found out I have a very high IQ and I was placed in the gifted class. After that I started enjoying school alot more.
 
Thanks for all of your replies. I initially was right there with him and I did sit him down and explain what he needed to do and was told that he already knew what he needed to do... in his little smart alecky voice.

It is really just all review for him. He had tons of homework in Kindy and was in full-time preschool for 2 years before that so he seems to be pretty advanced.

So far his teacher is being good as far as the homework goes (her rude personality is another matter). He only has to do 1 page a night and it is just practicing writing his letters and numbers, all of which he does really well. Maybe it's just not challenging enough for him... :confused:
 
Oh these little guys! Hugs to you. I know it is so hard when our little guys just won't do what they are supposed to do! Especially when YOU know it is actually easy for them! My oldest is starting 4th grade this year(tomorrow!) and I remember that it took until around November for the 1st graders to really get with the program. They are getting used to a longer school day and more responsibility for themselves. If the teacher has an attitude problem this also may actually be a test of will between him and his teacher. Hang in there. Our little princes can be such toads sometimes!!!
 
Kat Stokes said:
So far his teacher is being good as far as the homework goes (her rude personality is another matter). He only has to do 1 page a night and it is just practicing writing his letters and numbers, all of which he does really well. Maybe it's just not challenging enough for him... :confused:
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That could be entirely possible, Kathi. Anytime I'm in a learning situation of anykind, if it's not challenging, then I don't pay a lick of attention. I was the same way as a child, too.
 
Another thing you might want to check which my sons Occupational Therapy teacher told me is that he is not holding the pencil to tightly. If he is it will make his hand hurt and he will be less likely to want to do his work. It really could be any number of things but most likely if it is just reveiw he is probably just bored. Id defenitely try the reward program where after he gets XX amount of homework done he gets XX amount of time doing a funner activity like a game...at his age you can even make it a learning game. I used to have this problem with my youngest and his teacher from last year gave him a webkins at the beginning of this year and since then he has done his homework the first time I ask because he knows he will get to play on his webkinz account. He doesnt even complain about it anymore and I can have him play games where he is learning on there which is really cool and he does not even realize it!! Good luck though on whatever you do. Sometimes it just helps to take a timeout
Kat Stokes said:
Thanks for all of your replies. I initially was right there with him and I did sit him down and explain what he needed to do and was told that he already knew what he needed to do... in his little smart alecky voice.

It is really just all review for him. He had tons of homework in Kindy and was in full-time preschool for 2 years before that so he seems to be pretty advanced.

So far his teacher is being good as far as the homework goes (her rude personality is another matter). He only has to do 1 page a night and it is just practicing writing his letters and numbers, all of which he does really well. Maybe it's just not challenging enough for him... :confused:
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Oh no! You're not giving me hope! lol My daughter is in first grade and she mentioned that they're going to start getting homework after tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it at all.

But I think you may be on to something. Maybe since it's all review for him it just doesn't seem worth doing. He's sitting there thinking about all the fun things he could be doing and would rather be elsewhere. Of course, that doesn't help your frustration level - and it wouldn't help mine either.

Hang in there. *hugs*
 
Kat, my son has done this since Kindergarten. I'm not kidding. He's a smart boy but he hates school and can't stand homework. Most nights its a fight to get him to even start it.
He's either fiddling with pencils or making excuses (like "I have to go pee").
It's really hard during the school year.
Last year, he almost didn't pass 4th grade and we thought about holding him back a year but the school really didn't think he needed to be held back.
So far so good this year but I did find a blank Math paper on my bed after he went to sleep tonight. It says Practice on it so I'm hoping it really is and this isn't the start of more BS like every other year. :cursing:
 
Mandy said:
He's either fiddling with pencils or making excuses (like "I have to go pee").
It's really hard during the school year.
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Ha, that is just a small sampling of what he was up to... LOL! I'm laughing about it now but I did take away 2 of his transformers that he was playing with and told him that he had to earn them back tomorrow night by doing all of his homework when I tell him to. I am 99% sure that the rewards system is going to be it.... I'm going to have to take away all of his toys and reward him back with them one at a time until he "gets" the fact that he HAS to do his homework.

As for his teacher, he really likes her. It's me and my mom she has been rude to. I was told before school started that she is "ODD" by more than one teacher that has worked with her in the past. I introduced myself on the first day of school and she basically turned her back to me. That automatically put her on my bad side - the fact that she could not spare 2 minutes to talk to me.

In fact, I have been trying to transfer him to a different school since before he started Kindy last year and keep getting refused. They told me that I have to wait until the PI Scores come out in October to request a transfer. If they fall under PI then I will be able to transfer him to a non-PI school of my choice, provided there is room available. Unfortunately, there is only one school that I really want him to go to and the fact that they make you wait until a month and a half into the school year bugs me.

Unfortunately since I have to work full time with an hour commute, it is hard for me to be there every second to make sure he is learning what he's supposed to be and I would really like to be able to communicate with his teacher to ensure that I am asking all of the questions that I need to and that she's answering them. However, I just don't get that warm fuzzy feeling from her and it's discouraging.
 
Girls - just a warning - lol, my oldest decides he needs to go number 2 every time he is told to do anything -- homework, pick up his room -- anything!!! And it's been like this for years -- he's now 12.
 
oye! how annoying is this?!?! my kiddos go straight to the breakfast nook with sharpened pencils after school, but the couple times middle ds (he was 6 at the time) tried to pull the i'm sooo tired...i can't do it...i have to pee...wahhh...wahhh...wahhh...i told him that his teacher requested we work on this together and if he had a problem with doing it that we could call his teacher and she could let him know he needs to do it. it seemed like ds was almost like mad at me for making him to do it. reminding him that it is part of the assigned work from his actualteacher helped matters. after that little talk we have never had a problem since.

hugs, kat!! hope it gets better!!
 
lizzyfizzy said:
oye! how annoying is this?!?! my kiddos go straight to the breakfast nook with sharpened pencils after school, but the couple times middle ds (he was 6 at the time) tried to pull the i'm sooo tired...i can't do it...i have to pee...wahhh...wahhh...wahhh...i told him that his teacher requested we work on this together and if he had a problem with doing it that we could call his teacher and she could let him know he needs to do it. it seemed like ds was almost like mad at me for making him to do it. reminding him that it is part of the assigned work from his actualteacher helped matters. after that little talk we have never had a problem since.

hugs, kat!! hope it gets better!!
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I wish that would work for me!
We've been working hand in hand with teachers since 2nd grade and nobody has been able to help. I mean really help. I feel like they dont care. It's so frustrating.
 
Ours bring home worksheets in Kindergarten so I feel your pain. Benjamin also pulls the bathroom trick. I have one more week until I have to deal with it. and this year I have two of them. Ack.
 
I have a very hard time with homework with one kiddo too. He has ADHD and is on meds but they are only good for 8 hours and that's 'school' time. At 5pm when I get home from work and have him sit down and do his homework it's long gone so he has no attention span left. He gets distracted by the cat, his pencil, a piece of dust floating thru the air, you name it. 20 minutes of homework takes us about an hour and a half. I just have to keep telling him to get back to it and make sure he has as little distractions as possible. Good luck, I'm sure it will get easier for him eventually!
 
I am so glad to know im not the only one that gets frustrated. My daughter is bright as a box of crayons but she just has no interest or attention span for homework. We will go through her site words and she will nail them and then go to school and I will get a note from her teacher saying she does not know any of them! We get home and she goes through them and I have even called the teacher and the teacher almost doesn't seem like she believes me! Anyhow that w3as last year but they were sending home packets of homework at a time. I really thought it was WAY to much for kindergarten so I dont even want to know what its gonna be like with her going into first grade! Hugs honey! I hope it gets easier for the both of you!
 
Kat Stokes said:
As for his teacher, he really likes her. It's me and my mom she has been rude to. I was told before school started that she is "ODD" by more than one teacher that has worked with her in the past. I introduced myself on the first day of school and she basically turned her back to me. That automatically put her on my bad side - the fact that she could not spare 2 minutes to talk to me.
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This was brought up to up yesterday at a staff meeting. It's totally unprofessional for teachers to be talking about other teachers. True or not. Also most teachers NEVER see another teacher TEACH. The only thing they see is how they behave in the teacher's lounge. I'm a firm believer that the lounge should be a safe place to VENT as it's just that, venting. We do not allow parents, even PTA parents in our teacher's lounge.

I have also been in her shoes where 20 parents want me to spend two minutes talking to them. It's now 40 minutes into the school day and what are the kids doing?

Give her a fair chance please. I have had parents show up at my door at 2 pm to conference and I have rudely turned them away as they didn't have an appointment and I have had meetings to attend. I have explained to the parents that I have no problem meeting with them, but right before school isn't going to work. We had best set up an appointment that works for our schedules. Most parents seem to understand that I respect their time and then they respect my time.

I have literally have had parents show up in the middle of class just for a moment of my time. I tell them very firmly, I'm teaching! If they have an emergency or other immediate concern to contact the office. I can't tell you how many parents do not respect the job we do.

I'm not saying this is you, I'm just saying to give her a chance. (and I needed to vent!) LOL
 
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In our district it's not the teacher that decides that homework has to be given but rather the school board.

Keep in mind that things are VERY different now.

That little act, "NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND" seriously penalizes schools with children that are under performing.

I encourage all of you to talk to your child's teacher if homework is taking an unreasonable amount of time (when the child is working). Most teachers will give you strategies or even limit the assignments IF you talk to them about specifics.
 
my 1st grader dd has homework everyday also. Most of it is spelling words that they have to practice each day before the test on Thurs. This is easy stuff but I have to keep on her to get her work done. As soon as my girls are home from school they empty their packs and get started on homework. I don't want to waste the entire evening stressing them out that they have to finish before bedtime, that kind of situation doesn't help get the work done.

In K and 1st grade the teachers EXPECT the parents to be hands on with homework. At back to school night last week the teacher explained to all the parents what WE would have to be doing each week along with the kids. A lot of parents don't agree with that, my dh included. It gets better, my 5th grader brings home assignments now without any explanation or instructions for me to review. I have no clue what they are doing in class! LOL so look forward to 5th grade when your homework will stop coming home.

As for your ds, as I do with my dd, don't fight and yell and cause a bunch of stress and tears over a simple worksheet. Dd knows her teachers' rules. If she has wasted hours fiddling around with homework, I simply remind her that it is her responsibility (yes, they learn that in school) and I cannot do the work for her. She can put the unfinished homework in her bag and explain to her teacher why she didn't finish it. It's not me who will get in trouble for not doing the homework. When dd sits there to think about her teachers response, most often she realizes that doing the homework is a much better choice. LOL
 
It's frustrating isn't it!? My son came home with his first homework EVER -- a little worksheet in kindergarten. He's already complaining. Sigh . . . it's going to be a long 12 years.
 
Just have heart all of you... my oldest son is now 16 and I had all those same struggles you are describing! Once he hit middle school, it got a lot better. I know that sounds like a long time away, but maybe your breakthough will be sooner than that! My oldest is frankly a genius... he is seriously the smartest person I've ever known. Even when he was little he really amazed me. School was too easy for him but it was still a struggle because he didn't CARE about it. Once he hit middle school, he started to care. The competition was greater and they had different levels of classes to better suit the kid's learning abilities.

But I also have my younger son entering kindergarten in a week... and I'm not looking forward to the homework already! :p
 
SamaraGugler said:
This was brought up to up yesterday at a staff meeting. It's totally unprofessional for teachers to be talking about other teachers. True or not. Also most teachers NEVER see another teacher TEACH. The only thing they see is how they behave in the teacher's lounge. I'm a firm believer that the lounge should be a safe place to VENT as it's just that, venting. We do not allow parents, even PTA parents in our teacher's lounge.

I have also been in her shoes where 20 parents want me to spend two minutes talking to them. It's now 40 minutes into the school day and what are the kids doing?

Give her a fair chance please. I have had parents show up at my door at 2 pm to conference and I have rudely turned them away as they didn't have an appointment and I have had meetings to attend. I have explained to the parents that I have no problem meeting with them, but right before school isn't going to work. We had best set up an appointment that works for our schedules. Most parents seem to understand that I respect their time and then they respect my time.

I have literally have had parents show up in the middle of class just for a moment of my time. I tell them very firmly, I'm teaching! If they have an emergency or other immediate concern to contact the office. I can't tell you how many parents do not respect the job we do.

I'm not saying this is you, I'm just saying to give her a chance. (and I needed to vent!) LOL
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Thank you for posting this Samara. I totally understand where you are coming from and it helps clear up my situation a bit. I know that "gossip" is never good but you can't help but listen sometimes...

I think what bothers me most is that most districts, including ours, do not have a parent-child-teacher "meeting" before school starts. I like to "know" who my child is with all day and I really think that they should have something like an open house before school starts so the children and parents have a chance to meet their future teacher - and I think that the teachers should be PAID for this! I think most children would stand a better chance at a better education if the parents were asked to be more involved in the very beginning.

After talking to friends whose children go to other neighboring schools and the way they were actually "greeted and welcomed" by their teachers on the first day I just got a bad taste in my mouth about our situation.

I tried again today and I still can't get my child transferred to the school I want him in. I have to wait until the middle of October for the PI scores. Yes, I am being picky. Yes, I want my child to have an excellent education. There are 12 elementary schools in our District and at least 6, if not 7, of them are PI. What is wrong with this picture? I am a tax paying citizen and I feel I should have the right to send my child to the school of MY choice since I am paying for it. This just irks me beyond...

Why do you think the PI schools are penalized? It is my understanding that the teachers in PI schools get extra money for supplies in addition to extra continuing education which is supposed to help bring their scores above standard. Is this not correct?

I am just really, really frustrated with the whole situation. However, I would like to report that the homework situation was better tonight. He did do quite a bit of it without much grumbling - thankfully. I ended up telling him that he had to turn it in on Friday and that he had to have it done or he wouldn't get his "incentive" ticket from his teacher (for every 10 tickets a child earns, they are able to pick a toy from the treasure chest). I think that helped light a fire under him. Also, I was actually able to pick him up from school today and saw his teacher hug each child as they left for the day so that made me feel a little better. :)

Sorry for the rambling long post...
 
Our district is in PI and not only is there not any extra money, there is LESS. The money that is available is earmarked for programs.

I totally understand your frustration. I really do. I'm frustrated too. Hang in there and remember that the quality of your child's education goes beyond what the school does or doesn't do.

Crud...I have to run, we are having a tooth fairy crisis.

Please know that I'm strictly speaking from a teacher point of view :)

Big hugs.
 
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