Gifts: Is there anyone else...
- Thread starter Robin Carlton
- Start date
kscwgirl
New member
Jeff is not a gift giver, never has been, never will be. I am learning to accept it. 
I threw him a surprise party when he turned 45 and he said he's getting me back when I turn 40 in a couple of years, so we will see.
I love birthdays and wish we celebrated them, but I've learned to adapt.
I threw him a surprise party when he turned 45 and he said he's getting me back when I turn 40 in a couple of years, so we will see.
I love birthdays and wish we celebrated them, but I've learned to adapt.
knlchevys
Banned
We don't do gifts at all! The first few years of marriage I was hurt. Then I realized my hubby never had that. As the years have gone on I'm totally on board with the saving money. I know he loves me. If I need anything I go buy it anyway!! Don't get me wrong I LOVE gifts but we don't give them to each other!
krystalhartley
New member
I love surprises but never happens. I'm really good at processing the tiniest of clues (not intentionally), so I always figure it out. Michael teases me that I can read his mind or have precognitive abilities or something.
Sherri Tierney
New member
I'm not big on birthdays. We make a big deal of them for the kids, but I really don't think adults need to celebrate birthdays. Growing up, birthdays were not a big deal. I had 3 parties my whole life. My 5th birthday, my 10th birthday and my 13th birthday, I think it was. On my 16th birthday my grandma let me skip school and go to the movies with my mom and step-dad (grandma raised me). Other than that, birthdays were just a day. Sure, there was usually cake and ice cream but that was about it. I've always hated my birthday anyway. These days I get by with ignoring it. Mine is on Valentine's Day and I get to just do stuff for the kids instead of focusing on me. This year we did absolutely NOTHING for my birthday and I was thrilled. 
One of my brothers seems to think his birthday should be a big deal. He throws himself parties and everything (when he was married he made his wife invite everyone but we all knew he planned it all). My other brother is more like me and doesn't really care at all. A phone call is nice and I do appreciate that, but otherwise, I prefer to ignore my birthday. I don't know how my brother ended up being one who wants to go all out for his birthday. It's funny because he doesn't do it for his kid. *shrugs*
On the other hand, we celebrate half birthdays for the kids... a tradition we started for my step-son so that we could celebrate a birthday with him in the summer when he visited as he was born in February. We don't go big though. They get a gift and we'll have cake or some other kind of treat. Nothing major.
Tomorrow is actually my son's half birthday. Can you believe I didn't even remember until I typed that we celebrate them? Yikes! That means I need to come up with a gift for him. Oops. Anyway, Thursday is our anniversary. We never celebrate our anniversary. Well, I should say 'rarely' instead of never. We did go out to the movies on our 5th anniversary. We dropped my daughter (then 11 months old) off at my grandma's and went to see Daddy Daycare. We wolfed down McDonald's cheeseburgers in the car in front of the theatre before going in. LOL Anyway.... Thursday is our 15th anniversary and I really don't think we will do anything. We sure aren't going to exchange gifts. Most years we forget entirely that it is our anniversary until my MIL or FIL call to send us wishes. LOL
We don't do much for Mother's Day but it seems we always do something for Father's Day. I don't know why that is. I think it is because we have always celebrated Father's Day because DH was a dad when we began our relationship. On the other hand, we were together 8 years before we had kids so we just never got in the habit of celebrating Mother's Day. No worries though.
One of my brothers seems to think his birthday should be a big deal. He throws himself parties and everything (when he was married he made his wife invite everyone but we all knew he planned it all). My other brother is more like me and doesn't really care at all. A phone call is nice and I do appreciate that, but otherwise, I prefer to ignore my birthday. I don't know how my brother ended up being one who wants to go all out for his birthday. It's funny because he doesn't do it for his kid. *shrugs*
On the other hand, we celebrate half birthdays for the kids... a tradition we started for my step-son so that we could celebrate a birthday with him in the summer when he visited as he was born in February. We don't go big though. They get a gift and we'll have cake or some other kind of treat. Nothing major.
Tomorrow is actually my son's half birthday. Can you believe I didn't even remember until I typed that we celebrate them? Yikes! That means I need to come up with a gift for him. Oops. Anyway, Thursday is our anniversary. We never celebrate our anniversary. Well, I should say 'rarely' instead of never. We did go out to the movies on our 5th anniversary. We dropped my daughter (then 11 months old) off at my grandma's and went to see Daddy Daycare. We wolfed down McDonald's cheeseburgers in the car in front of the theatre before going in. LOL Anyway.... Thursday is our 15th anniversary and I really don't think we will do anything. We sure aren't going to exchange gifts. Most years we forget entirely that it is our anniversary until my MIL or FIL call to send us wishes. LOL
We don't do much for Mother's Day but it seems we always do something for Father's Day. I don't know why that is. I think it is because we have always celebrated Father's Day because DH was a dad when we began our relationship. On the other hand, we were together 8 years before we had kids so we just never got in the habit of celebrating Mother's Day. No worries though.
nun69
New member
we don't do anything big either....usually DH will send me a link to something he wants for his birthday and instead of him just ordering, he would rather me go through the hassle of ordering it, but it doesn't get wrapped and he usually just gets it in the box when it comes in the mail!!!! But we also get things throughout the year that we want so bdays, anniversaries, etc aren't a big deal to us...I did however got to Vegas with 7 of my BF's for my 40th bday and it was seriously the best time ever!!!
Funny thing...today is Jaime's birthday. The girls and I each got him a card, made him a yummy steak dinner and got him his favorite cake...DQ ice cream cake. He'll pick something out for himself later.
Gifts used to be such a sore subject for me. I would always get my feelings hurt because Jaime didn't really surprise me with gifts. I thought that if he didn't put the thought and effort into it, he didn't really care. I've since realized that was pretty dumb. lol Like a lot of you, we usually just get the things we want when we want them, within reason. Plus, the things we each want are usually so specific, it's just safer to go get them ourselves...with each other's blessing, of course. However, we always do cards and a special meal or something on the actual day.
With that said...I LOVE giving gifts so it kinda takes the fun out of it for me. lol
Gifts used to be such a sore subject for me. I would always get my feelings hurt because Jaime didn't really surprise me with gifts. I thought that if he didn't put the thought and effort into it, he didn't really care. I've since realized that was pretty dumb. lol Like a lot of you, we usually just get the things we want when we want them, within reason. Plus, the things we each want are usually so specific, it's just safer to go get them ourselves...with each other's blessing, of course. However, we always do cards and a special meal or something on the actual day.
With that said...I LOVE giving gifts so it kinda takes the fun out of it for me. lol
nesser1981
Sweet Shoppe SugarBabe
We don't usually, for one, we never have enough extra money for fancy gifts, lol. And, we each see our checking account, it's hard to surprise the other, more for DH than me, because I really handle the money
^^^^Exactly this
jessica31876
New member
My love language in giving love is giving gifts so it is hard for me to not want to make a big deal out of special occasions. I do not have much I really want or need though so everyone thinks it is hard to get me a gift. I personally hate gift cards to give but dont mind someone giving them to me. I just enjoy shopping for that one really amazing gift that is going to wow them.
LeeAndra
Sweet Shoppe SugarBabe
This is a sore subject for me. 
My immediate family celebrates everyone's birthday no matter your age. They don't usually 'hold' the (great)-grandparents' dinners until the weekend so that I can come (I live 2.5 hours away), but I usually make it up for my parents' bdays and sister's. Well, not usually my mom's since her bday is 3 days before Christmas, but I give her her gift and card when I see her for Christmas. My mom makes a special trip down around my bday to celebrate with me, and DD usually has two bday parties, one at my parents' house with all my family and then one at our house with DH's parents, each year. My mom's love language is gifts, so gifts are always involved.
DH says he hates holidays and often doesn't know when they are. I've told him that he needs to do SOMETHING just three days of the year: Christmas, my bday, and Mothers' Day. All the other holidays/events have to be planned and executed by me, and he usually does not participate. Him needing to do something does not mean he has to buy me something, though. I will take a homemade meal, doing chores around the house without being asked, and/or a couple hours to myself, too.
While we do buy ourselves things throughout the year, I am looking for the thoughtfulness behind the gift, kwim? It doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be something that might be something I like.
He does not understand that I don't want any certain THING, but some appreciation or respect for what I do for the family. Mothers' Day is this weekend, but now that we have SS with us indefinitely while his mother recuperates from an illness, he will forget to get a card for/with DD to give me and likely spend most of Mothers' Day at the hospital with his son and his ex-wife. Before you think I'm a completely terrible person for having said that, last year, he was upset abt something (I can't remember what -- maybe school?) and ragenapped all afternoon.
Good times.
My immediate family celebrates everyone's birthday no matter your age. They don't usually 'hold' the (great)-grandparents' dinners until the weekend so that I can come (I live 2.5 hours away), but I usually make it up for my parents' bdays and sister's. Well, not usually my mom's since her bday is 3 days before Christmas, but I give her her gift and card when I see her for Christmas. My mom makes a special trip down around my bday to celebrate with me, and DD usually has two bday parties, one at my parents' house with all my family and then one at our house with DH's parents, each year. My mom's love language is gifts, so gifts are always involved.
DH says he hates holidays and often doesn't know when they are. I've told him that he needs to do SOMETHING just three days of the year: Christmas, my bday, and Mothers' Day. All the other holidays/events have to be planned and executed by me, and he usually does not participate. Him needing to do something does not mean he has to buy me something, though. I will take a homemade meal, doing chores around the house without being asked, and/or a couple hours to myself, too.
While we do buy ourselves things throughout the year, I am looking for the thoughtfulness behind the gift, kwim? It doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be something that might be something I like.
He does not understand that I don't want any certain THING, but some appreciation or respect for what I do for the family. Mothers' Day is this weekend, but now that we have SS with us indefinitely while his mother recuperates from an illness, he will forget to get a card for/with DD to give me and likely spend most of Mothers' Day at the hospital with his son and his ex-wife. Before you think I'm a completely terrible person for having said that, last year, he was upset abt something (I can't remember what -- maybe school?) and ragenapped all afternoon.
Good times.
rach3975
New member
DH and I give each other small gifts to acknowledge the holiday. Candy or flowers for Valentines Day, a gift card (scrapbook $ for me, music or book $ for him) for most other holidays. We do celebrate birthdays, but like others have said it's more like, "I want a new lens. I'm going to buy it and we'll call it my birthday present." Big things like computers or cameras are never gifts; those we plan/save for or buy if DH gets a big bonus at work.
It's the same with us- we don't do gifts either. Mother's Day is a pretty uneventful affair, but my husband prepares breakfast and stuff, and I get to sleep in- that's totally enough for me! On my birthday, he is a little more magnanimous than usually and let's me spend more money on scrappy stuff, and I get to decide what we do during the day... but real presents, we never give each other, not even for Christmas, and I have always been more than fine with it.