The Meanings of Mother’s Day

[karlimarie]

*sigh* here she goes again, getting deep on a Monday morning bear with me… some interesting thoughts on the meanings of Mother’s Day…

Our principal sent out this lovely message for Mother’s Day and I wanted to share.

Happy Mother’s Day! As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, we want to honor all of the mother figures in our community. We recognize that this day holds many different meanings; a day of celebration, a day of reflection, or a day of remembrance. To our moms, stepmoms, grandmothers, foster moms, aunt, caregiver and those who step into these roles every day: thank you for all you do for our students! We are so grateful for the diverse and beautiful families that make our school community so special! We are honored to partner with you.

I love how inclusive this message is and how it acknowledges all of the varied feelings we have about this holiday.

I always gripe that of course Mother’s Day falls in May, the busiest month of the school year apart from maybe December. In North Carolina we call it Maycember for that very reason. But then Father’s Day is in June. You just know a man planned it that way.

On another note, my favorite historian wrote the following in her daily email about the original meaning of Mothers’ Day. I found it empowering and so interesting. In reading her emails through these past few years I am always struck by how quickly society as a whole collectively forgets important lessons of our past, even in a time when we have access to more information than ever.



So how was your Mother’s Day? Does any of this resonate with you?

 

[Brendazzle]

I typed out a whole post and then deleted it because I don't want to be that negative here in my happy place. The TL;DR is that I loathe this holiday so much because it just adds more duties to my already overflowing mom plate and I don't feel loved or appreciated at all. I'm definitely feeling the "have the moms run the government" vibes trying to patchwork together a bunch of broken systems to try to meet my child's needs so maybe I like something about Mothers' Day after all.

Please celebrate the caregivers often and with actual assistance, not just a token "I bought you a card" once a year 'effort.'

At least next Sunday is 22q at the Zoo, where my advocacy and caregiving is celebrated a little more. I'm looking forward to the event leadership pulling my husband aside to tell them what they learned raising their kids that *he* should do so I don't have to (They did it at another 22q event. Gave my husband pizza, my kid his Switch, and then started in on "I know your wife does all this but do you?")

 

[EvelynD2]

I typed out a whole post and then deleted it because I don't want to be that negative here in my happy place. The TL;DR is that I loathe this holiday so much because it just adds more duties to my already overflowing mom plate and I don't feel loved or appreciated at all. I'm definitely feeling the "have the moms run the government" vibes trying to patchwork together a bunch of broken systems to try to meet my child's needs so maybe I like something about Mothers' Day after all.

Please celebrate the caregivers often and with actual assistance, not just a token "I bought you a card" once a year 'effort.'

At least next Sunday is 22q at the Zoo, where my advocacy and caregiving is celebrated a little more. I'm looking forward to the event leadership pulling my husband aside to tell them what they learned raising their kids that *he* should do so I don't have to (They did it at another 22q event. Gave my husband pizza, my kid his Switch, and then started in on "I know your wife does all this but do you?")

I hope 22q At the Zoo is a fantastic day for your family and helps to get you more support. I know my sister-in-law has had quite an adjustment since moving from California to South Carolina. Her daughter, Valerie, has Down Syndrome. She is 40 years old. California has so many more programs that Valerie was able to benefit from. South Carolina doesn’t have as much. They moved back to South Carolina after Mary Ann’s husband died so they could be closer to her other children.

 

[fruitysuet]

When my kids were little mother's day was pretty meaningless apart from if school had them prep something (which was only ever in primary school anyway). My ex rarely did anything to encourage them to celebrate the day with me, unless he was prompted by either of my girls (never my son) to take them to the shop to get a card and perhaps some flowers or chocolates. I was the one who organised cards and gifts for my mum and mother in law, both of whom are now dead My eldest daughter, bless her, takes it upon herself to organise something for me, her and her sister to do, usually afternoon tea in a nice little cafe somewhere. Our Mother's Day in the UK is in March.

I do like that message that your school shared, like you say, very inclusive @karlimarie

 

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

Ahhhh, Mother's Day. It's something different now that my own Mama is gone. My Mama was always extra with birthdays and other celebrations through the calendar year, and it was no exception for Mother's Day. Even after her own mother passed away in the fall of 2018, she continued cooking for Mother's Day. Well, mostly that's because my sister's birthday is May 7th and was usually squished into Mother's Day but STILL she was cooking on her own Mother's Day (one of her gifts was hospitality and she loved to cook). It was rare if she let one of us hostess something. Mama was VERY VOCAL about us adding new memories into her memory jar. We started one in 1999, and added memories from our childhood. Each year we added new memories. The jar wasn't quite full on that last Mother's Day, but it remained her FAVORITE gift. She really didn't care about anything else.



During those years where we reveled in each other's company and good food, there were others posting on Facebook or IRL that were grieving heavily. It's hard to celebrate when the main reason for the holiday is gone. Even if you were a mother yourself, losing your own mother unmoors you. Seeing others post about being with their mothers is a sharp prick of pain but then I say bless them with as many years as you can, and then express gratitude for my mother and the amazing gift she was.

Our last Mother's Day with Mama was in 2023. I knew about loss and grief from the passing of other family members and friends, but I really didn't believe that Mama would actually leave. It still seems surreal sometimes. So my sister and I have tried to carry on with celebrations that include amazing food, fine tableware, china, and crystal, and a beautiful bouquet of flowers.



This year, I was celebrated on Saturday, the day before Mother's Day. I didn't want to cook (sorry Mama ) so we ordered in Chinese, and we had Blue Bell ice cream for dessert. My children were here for me, and my husband was integral in all the planning. He's always been supportive of the holiday and helping the kiddos share their love. They got me little things off my Amazon wish list. We spent time putting together some mini camera flower off brand Legos. It was fun and irritating at the same time. I felt like I had bear claws trying to hold those little pieces. So there were alternately comments of "this is so cute" to "profanity."




For me, I think the most important thing is time with my children. I do like to get cards and a little prize or two, but if I had to choose, it would just be their presence and enjoying talking with them about the past/present/future.

I'm sure along the way somewhere I heard about the history of Mother's Day, but it was more the history of honoring one's mother. Your historian's posting made me search through Google and I found this article The History of Mother’s Day: From Global Peace to Greeting Cards that gave just a little more detail. I find this very interesting! Thanks for sharing. You engaged my brain today!

 

[porkchopsmom]

I hope 22q At the Zoo is a fantastic day for your family and helps to get you more support. I know my sister-in-law has had quite an adjustment since moving from California to South Carolina. Her daughter, Valerie, has Down Syndrome. She is 40 years old. California has so many more problems that Valerie was able to benefit from. South Carolina doesn’t have as much. They moved back to South Carolina after Mary Ann’s husband died so they could be closer to her other childr

I typed out a whole post and then deleted it because I don't want to be that negative here in my happy place. The TL;DR is that I loathe this holiday so much because it just adds more duties to my already overflowing mom plate and I don't feel loved or appreciated at all. I'm definitely feeling the "have the moms run the government" vibes trying to patchwork together a bunch of broken systems to try to meet my child's needs so maybe I like something about Mothers' Day after all.

Please celebrate the caregivers often and with actual assistance, not just a token "I bought you a card" once a year 'effort.'

At least next Sunday is 22q at the Zoo, where my advocacy and caregiving is celebrated a little more. I'm looking forward to the event leadership pulling my husband aside to tell them what they learned raising their kids that *he* should do so I don't have to (They did it at another 22q event. Gave my husband pizza, my kid his Switch, and then started in on "I know your wife does all this but do you?")

 

[LynnZant]

@Brendazzle I am the queen of rambling then deleting my post thinking no one cares! I'm old(ish) and have given up and decided to just celebrate myself. In recent years, I've planned things that I wanted to do and, yes, have done them alone sometimes, but I'm fine with that. I was surprised by a few family members tagging along with my plans this year which was nice, but I was okay to do it alone too.

And, @karlimarie I used to send my sisters Mother's Day cards because they were like mothers to me. I love that message being so inclusive also. Mother means so many different things to different people.

 

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

@Brendazzle I am the queen of rambling then deleting my post thinking no one cares! I'm old(ish) and have given up and decided to just celebrate myself. In recent years, I've planned things that I wanted to do and, yes, have done them alone sometimes, but I'm fine with that. I was surprised by a few family members tagging along with my plans this year which was nice, but I was okay to do it alone too.

And, @karlimarie I used to send my sisters Mother's Day cards because they were like mothers to me. I love that message being so inclusive also. Mother means so many different things to different people.

I'm glad you made peace with yourself about making plans and going through with them.

I didn't send out cards, but sent several private texts to cousins and close family friends who were motherly role models for me. Mother does mean a little something different to each one of us.

 

[karlimarie]

And, @karlimarie I used to send my sisters Mother's Day cards because they were like mothers to me. I love that message being so inclusive also. Mother means so many different things to different people.

I’m sure that’s so appreciated! I am an older sister who spent a lot of my youth caring for my younger siblings. It’s definitely a challenging and under appreciated role.

 

[karlimarie]

I'm sure along the way somewhere I heard about the history of Mother's Day, but it was more the history of honoring one's mother. Your historian's posting made me search through Google and I found this article The History of Mother’s Day: From Global Peace to Greeting Cards that gave just a little more detail. I find this very interesting! Thanks for sharing. You engaged my brain today!

I am obsessed with the floral Lego sets… I haven’t actually bought any yet because our budget is more geared toward my children right now- but I swear, one day I will have a Lego floral collection of my own!!

Loved that article! Thanks for sharing.

 

[aussiegirl]

Mother's Day Can mean many different things to different people. And for some people, it can even be a hard day (I know my 1st one without my mom was tough). Our Church tries to celebrate it in a way that is inclusive to so many. They usually give us a small gift (this year was either a tote bag or a cosmetic bag). I allowed my almost 25 year old daughter to get one, not because she is a mom, but because someday, hopefully she will be a mom! (We did wait until we were leaving Church to get her one, and by then almost everyone else was gone, so it was leftover items).

My biggest gripe, is that since we've been married, my husband sees it as a day to celebrate HIS mom. And when I say it's my day too, he tells me I'm not his mom. No, but I am the mother of his Children! Mostly, it's just a pet peeve of mine. But it does annoy me sometimes! (he was buying his mom a card, and I asked if he bought me one too? He said no. But he bought me chocolate instead, so at least he knows what's more important to me!)

In the end it is just another day. All of my girls celebrated me being their mom. So at least there was that!