Tell Me You Have ADHD Without Telling Me…

[karlimarie]

Today I took my kids to the dentist.

She asked if I had any questions and I was like- not really, my youngest has only lost one tooth so far (he’s almost 7). She takes a look in his mouth and goes: he has two adult teeth right here in the front.

He and I were both like… really?! What happened to the other tooth?? How did we not notice??

He came up with a bunch of possible explanations like he coughed it out or it popped out that time he fell in the playground.

I felt like Mom of the year I was joking that of course this would happen to my second child. With the first I photographed every single lost tooth and cute gap and with my second I didn’t even notice him lose his second tooth.

We get home and I’m like dwelling on it- this is insane. How did I not notice??? How did he not notice??? His first loose tooth was such a big deal!! He hated it and complained about it until it fell out. How was there no drama with the second tooth???

So I went back through my photos to investigate.

You guys. It’s worse than I thought

I have a photo of his cute gap tooth face from his first lost tooth in July 2025.

… and I have another cute gap tooth face photo of him from November 2025.

He lost two teeth. We acknowledged that he lost two teeth. And then we all collectively FORGOT.

When I showed my youngest the photos he just goes: Oh. That’s crazy.

The neurodivergence is strong in this family

 

[sweetdoll]

A friend came to visit me a few days ago and was having an animated conversation about one of her most exciting trips, and I was impressed by everything she was saying. Then she stopped talking for a minute and asked, "Raquel, don't you remember when that happened? You were on the trip too!!!!"

Oops!!! Good thing I take pictures of all my trips to have a record of things I've done in the past.

 

[Natascha]

I do NOT have ADHD, but I tend to forget a lot though

Just about 2 weeks ago...I got a call from my BF while I was drinking coffee at my
neighbours house...a whole conversation took place about the raods being closed due to
an accident. A day later we went grocery shopping and he showed me to the place where
it all happened and I was like uhmm what happened?!! He was like WOMAN I told you
a whole story about it yesterday and I was like you did not call me, nope you didn't...

A few hours later I was checking my call logs and yup...there at was, a whole convo for
about 25 minutes with the BF...Uhmm honey...

 

[AmieN1]

lol I mean, at least it was uneventful- if it was memorable, it might not be a good thing. I did tell a student today in clinic (I'm a dental hygiene instructor 2 days/week) "tell me you're a hygienist without telling me you're a hygienist" because we were debating if 0.5mm of recession should be charted as a 1mm or a zero. lmao- we're pretty picky...

 

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

I've never been diagnosed with ADHD or self-diagnosed myself . . . but I have definitely have brain fog, sensory overload, and add in a good dose of perfectionism, and I have my own issues.

The brain fog that I've experienced that I was chalking up to medication was not medication related but pain related. Once I got this new SCS, the brain fog is slowly leaving as I'm not having to protect my brain and body from pain. Thank goodness.

My family had grown weary of me stopping midsentence because I forgot what we were talking about, or I simply don't remember full on conversations. I'm glad it's leaving, even though it's going away slowly.

 

[Brendazzle]

My husband and son are both ADHD and can lose things they are literally holding. I try my best to just laugh it off and make sure that *I* know where important items are. It must seem like a superpower to them that I know where so many things are all the time. But the kiddo's anxiety mixing with his ADHD means that I'm having to find toys he hasn't thought about in months at bedtime because he's freaking out about needed them that minute. That's a little more rough.

I am laughing that my husband and I just bought a car and, despite both of us test-driving it separately, neither of us realized that it had a sunroof until we were on our way home from the dealership. (It wasn't on the info sheet taped to the window so maybe the dealership forgot too? )

 

[craftytam]

 

[mmbstaley]

OK, so funny story from my youngest's day at work today - her first "karen" moment at this level. She hasn't been officially diagnosed with autism, but we are pretty sure it is floating around at some level with the diagnosed ADD. She doesn't read people well and misses a lot of social cues.

She works as a cook at a local university dining hall, and some days she can be really stressed out by the pressure - other days not so much for some reason. Tonight she was at the custom pasta station where they will make your serving just the way you want it. A lady (turns out she was a student's mom) got to the front of the line and asked for extra (a lot of extra) shrimp. No problem. Then she wanted a second skillet with beef - that was as problem as there was a very long line of students behind her. S told her she would need to go wait in line again if she wanted a second skillet. That didn't go over well with the lady, and she got mad. She asked to speak to a manager and then she called someone and started complaining to whoever was on the other end of the line - loudly. But, the dining hall is noisy and while S knew she was complaining she couldn't really hear it clearly. So she focused on keeping the orders going and the line moving and pretty much ignored the lady.
The rest of the evening her chefs, managers and coworkers kept telling her how great she did with the situation. She was having a good evening and still didn't think a whole lot about it. Finally after being asked to write up what happened formally in case the lady filed a complaint of some kind (multiple people were asked to do this), she heard that not only was the lady complaining on the phone, she was cussing her out too. The fact that S was not reacting to the lady's ranting evidently made her even more mad. S's autism totally worked in her favor tonight as she was clueless about what was really going on in front of her. The managers said she should keep being clueless as it made the situation much faster to deal with

 

[craftytam]

OK, so funny story from my youngest's day at work today - her first "karen" moment at this level. She hasn't been officially diagnosed with autism, but we are pretty sure it is floating around at some level with the diagnosed ADD. She doesn't read people well and misses a lot of social cues.

She works as a cook at a local university dining hall, and some days she can be really stressed out by the pressure - other days not so much for some reason. Tonight she was at the custom pasta station where they will make your serving just the way you want it. A lady (turns out she was a student's mom) got to the front of the line and asked for extra (a lot of extra) shrimp. No problem. Then she wanted a second skillet with beef - that was as problem as there was a very long line of students behind her. S told her she would need to go wait in line again if she wanted a second skillet. That didn't go over well with the lady, and she got mad. She asked to speak to a manager and then she called someone and started complaining to whoever was on the other end of the line - loudly. But, the dining hall is noisy and while S knew she was complaining she couldn't really hear it clearly. So she focused on keeping the orders going and the line moving and pretty much ignored the lady.
The rest of the evening her chefs, managers and coworkers kept telling her how great she did with the situation. She was having a good evening and still didn't think a whole lot about it. Finally after being asked to write up what happened formally in case the lady filed a complaint of some kind (multiple people were asked to do this), she heard that not only was the lady complaining on the phone, she was cussing her out too. The fact that S was not reacting to the lady's ranting evidently made her even more mad. S's autism totally worked in her favor tonight as she was clueless about what was really going on in front of her. The managers said she should keep being clueless as it made the situation much faster to deal with

Kudos to your daughter!!

 

[LJSDesigns]

You didn't notice a loss tooth? Try this one on for size.

When my son was 14 he came home from soccer practice with a note from his coach about his crooked arm. Crooked arm? What? What was his coach talking about?

Seems that JT was bench pressing and the coach told him to straighten his arm and JT said it was straight. Coach said it wasn't and he needed to straighten it. After they went back and forth for a few, the coach came over and physically tried to straighten his arm and couldn't. It was locked at a slight angle and nothing was moving it. Coach wanted to know what happened and if it was something he needed to watch over.

Again, I was like what crooked arm? But sure enough, my kid's right arm had a permament bend in it. A bend that neither he or I had ever noticed before.

Took him to the doctor to get it checked out. The doctor seemed stunned that we had never noticed it, but in my defense, we'd had the same doctor since he was little and he hadn't said a word about it either.

Ended up going to a specialist and to Shriners to find out that the two bones in his arm were fused by the elbow and had been that way since birth. Since Birth!

Shriner's said it would do more harm than good to try to fix it, so it is still bent to this day and he hates it. Didn't notice it for 14 years, but once he did, it bugs him like nothing else and he is still mad I didn't insist they fix it. I told him as an adult that is his choice now and if he wants to go through the surgeries to get it fixed so that he might be able to straighten it out to go for it. Underline and capitalize might, because it is questionable, which is another reason I did not opt for surgery for him. That and the fact that it doesn't prevent him from doing anything but joining the armed services.

I defintely feel like the worse mother on the planet over that one and can't even blame it on ADD.

But I do fail to notice a lot of things. My son says it's because I live in my head too much. But like I tell him, it's familiar, I know everyone and I like it there.

 

[karlimarie]

You didn't notice a loss tooth? Try this one on for size.

When my son was 14 he came home from soccer practice with a note from his coach about his crooked arm. Crooked arm? What? What was his coach talking about?

Seems that JT was bench pressing and the coach told him to straighten his arm and JT said it was straight. Coach said it wasn't and he needed to straighten it. After they went back and forth for a few, the coach came over and physically tried to straighten his arm and couldn't. It was locked at a slight angle and nothing was moving it. Coach wanted to know what happened and if it was something he needed to watch over.

Again, I was like what crooked arm? But sure enough, my kid's right arm had a permament bend in it. A bend that neither he or I had ever noticed before.

Took him to the doctor to get it checked out. The doctor seemed stunned that we had never noticed it, but in my defense, we'd had the same doctor since he was little and he hadn't said a word about it either.

Ended up going to a specialist and to Shriners to find out that the two bones in his arm were fused by the elbow and had been that way since birth. Since Birth!

Shriner's said it would do more harm than good to try to fix it, so it is still bent to this day and he hates it. Didn't notice it for 14 years, but once he did, it bugs him like nothing else and he is still mad I didn't insist they fix it. I told him as an adult that is his choice now and if he wants to go through the surgeries to get it fixed so that he might be able to straighten it out to go for it. Underline and capitalize might, because it is questionable, which is another reason I did not opt for surgery for him. That and the fact that it doesn't prevent him from doing anything but joining the armed services.

I defintely feel like the worse mother on the planet over that one and can't even blame it on ADD.

But I do fail to notice a lot of things. My son says it's because I live in my head too much. But like I tell him, it's familiar, I know everyone and I like it there.

Oh man! That's a doozy!!

It's amazing what our brains can tune out when we're focused on other things.

The proof is in this video!

 

[karlimarie]

OK, so funny story from my youngest's day at work today - her first "karen" moment at this level. She hasn't been officially diagnosed with autism, but we are pretty sure it is floating around at some level with the diagnosed ADD. She doesn't read people well and misses a lot of social cues.

She works as a cook at a local university dining hall, and some days she can be really stressed out by the pressure - other days not so much for some reason. Tonight she was at the custom pasta station where they will make your serving just the way you want it. A lady (turns out she was a student's mom) got to the front of the line and asked for extra (a lot of extra) shrimp. No problem. Then she wanted a second skillet with beef - that was as problem as there was a very long line of students behind her. S told her she would need to go wait in line again if she wanted a second skillet. That didn't go over well with the lady, and she got mad. She asked to speak to a manager and then she called someone and started complaining to whoever was on the other end of the line - loudly. But, the dining hall is noisy and while S knew she was complaining she couldn't really hear it clearly. So she focused on keeping the orders going and the line moving and pretty much ignored the lady.
The rest of the evening her chefs, managers and coworkers kept telling her how great she did with the situation. She was having a good evening and still didn't think a whole lot about it. Finally after being asked to write up what happened formally in case the lady filed a complaint of some kind (multiple people were asked to do this), she heard that not only was the lady complaining on the phone, she was cussing her out too. The fact that S was not reacting to the lady's ranting evidently made her even more mad. S's autism totally worked in her favor tonight as she was clueless about what was really going on in front of her. The managers said she should keep being clueless as it made the situation much faster to deal with

I've suspected that I am AuDHD for a while now but won't be pursuing a diagnosis. It's amazing to me the things that some people get worked up about and I'm over here like... wut.

... but then I can't find my favorite pen and it's the only pen that I like that writes the way I like and it feels like the world is crumbling down

 

[karlimarie]

I've never been diagnosed with ADHD or self-diagnosed myself . . . but I have definitely have brain fog, sensory overload, and add in a good dose of perfectionism, and I have my own issues.

The brain fog that I've experienced that I was chalking up to medication was not medication related but pain related. Once I got this new SCS, the brain fog is slowly leaving as I'm not having to protect my brain and body from pain. Thank goodness.

My family had grown weary of me stopping midsentence because I forgot what we were talking about, or I simply don't remember full on conversations. I'm glad it's leaving, even though it's going away slowly.

That's incredible! I'm so glad things have been clearing up for you.

I am squarely in perimenopause and the brain fog and forgetfulness have hit me like a train. I hate it. Just when I got my med dosages right for the ADHD/anxiety/depression and things started to feel good and hopeful again... here we are.

Some days it feels like the meds aren't working at all but then I think about how bad it could be if wasn't taking anything

 

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

That's incredible! I'm so glad things have been clearing up for you.

I am squarely in perimenopause and the brain fog and forgetfulness have hit me like a train. I hate it. Just when I got my med dosages right for the ADHD/anxiety/depression and things started to feel good and hopeful again... here we are.

Some days it feels like the meds aren't working at all but then I think about how bad it could be if wasn't taking anything

The symptoms for perimenopause and menopause are awful. I remember my Mama was absolutely driving my sister and I crazy with her hormonal fluctuations, but back then (40 years ago) it wasn't talked about much.

For me, the hot flashes and night sweats were the worst. When I was in my 30's and 40's, I "ran hot." I was ALWAYS miserable, especially when we only get a couple of months of winter/cooler weather here. I didn't realize I was in perimenopause. I just know I would sweat buckets at night no matter how cold it was. I was a big ball of sweat. YUCK.

But definitely, brain fog and forgetfulness were just as terrible as the hot flashes. I just tended to blame it on uncontrolled pain. My spinal cord stimulator doesn't fix my back conditions, but simply blocks the pain signal to the brain. This newest SCS is working SO WELL, but I think it might be blocking other mental signals, KWIM?

I did not have a good day mentally on Sunday. My sister and I hosted Easter. We were all gathering around the table to eat, and I didn't see Daniel. I was like, "where's my boy?" and Shannon (Olivia's partner) who knew Daniel was at the table, thought I was talking about my sister's dog and pointed to the living room. So I raised my voice and said, "Daniel, where are you?" I about jumped out of my skin when he said from in front of me to the right. He was already seated right beside Olivia. I LITERALLY did not see him. I still don't understand it. I also mixed up words, like chicken for kitchen or vice versa . . . those kind of word swaps. I couldn't carry on a coherent conversation.

I really think that women are the BOMB. Look at all we deal with physically and mentally, while our partners generally scoot by unscathed (other than having to navigate us and our volatile states LOL).

I can only tell you that this WILL PASS. If your medications aren't working, definitely talk to your PCP or specialist to find another medication.

Sending ((HUGS)) and sorry for the book!

 

[angiekey]

I really think that women are the BOMB. Look at all we deal with physically and mentally, while our partners generally scoot by unscathed (other than having to navigate us and our volatile states LOL).

YES! I stumbled across a video online the other day that addressed this specifically. It was an interview with a super-successful high-dollar male divorce attorney. He said his theory is that most divorces are due to women's periods.

Hang in there - it's actually pretty sound theory once he explained it.

He said that women are taught from a very young age that for days and days each month, we will be uncomfortable. We will be in outright pain. Our moods will shift from one to the next quickly and our bodies will feel completely out of our control. And the whole time, we are expected to function and live life and be good to the people around us. We're told there's nothing that can be done and it's part of being a woman and, basically, we need to suck it up and learn to deal with it.

Men, on the other hand, when they have to deal with that kind of pain and discomfort, it's like, HOLD EVERYTHING - stop the world, something is wrong, and it needs to be fixed. Right now.

The connection he made is that when things get rough in a marriage, it's second-nature for women to fight through it and figure out how to make it work, because we're taught to do that with our bodies from a young age. Many men, on the other hand, when things get rough, think "this is broken" and walk away.

Regardless of whether you agree with this guy, the bottom line is that we women are pretty fricking incredible.

 

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

That's an interesting theory.

I remember watching a film in a class in school (not sure which one), where women in Africa would be isolated for the length of their periods. They would sit on grass mats, and the other women would bring them food, etc. I think looking back, it was actually a negative thing, because the women were deemed unclean and couldn't be around their tribe. But as a young girl navigating the beginnings of menses (that was terrible), I thought it would be awesome if I could have just stayed home and sat on a mat, and wouldn't be expected to do anything but sit there. I still thought about that as I started my career and how it would be nice to have that time off every month.

 

[Sherly]

@Cheryl Ashcraft I'd love to join you in taking time off during menses every month pleaseeee.
Men really have it sooo easy compared to us when it comes to body maintenance, and, boy, to have them understand (or even grasp a tiny understanding) of how women's bodies are so infinitely complicated is a mission close to impossible. Ugh... The fact that you're miserable when your period is here and anxious when you're waiting for it to come... Hell both ways.