Valgal
New member
Since the subject has come up, how many of you have kids that are dating or have a boyfriend/girlfriend? What boundaries do you have in place? How do you feel about it?
My oldests, both boys, are 17 and only the one has a serious girlfriend and it's his first real one. They have been going out since October and it seems pretty serious but they both recognize they're only teenagers.
Elementary school age the basic rule was that boy/girl relationships do not extend outside of school. ie. you can 'go out' at school, where we can't control everything, but there are no phone calls or meeting up outside of school. No texting, no Facebook friend'ing, no emailing, etc...
Middle school age, group activities only. Texting/calling is fine but mom ultimately makes the judgement call.
High school age, they are old enough to go out on dates alone, but they are given the expectation that their integrity is at stake. It has been explained to Jake recently that it is also his job to protect his girlfriend's reputation (which is why it was NOT cool for him to come home with a hickey a few weeks ago :blink: ) and to uphold the rules her mother and father have put in place. To remember that his little sister is watching what he does, etc. Not allowed in the basement or behind closed doors in our home. He is responsible for himself at her house.
Overall it doesn't freak me out TOO badly because my kids have way better respect and standards for themselves than I ever did. I was boy crazy and sexually active and experimenting with drugs/alcohol and horribly rebellious when I was much younger than the boys. I gave my parents a run for their money, lol!
I'm so pleased with my kids! I know someday I'm going to hear about some nutso things they've done, but we talk about so much already that I feel ok about their choices.
Tell me! I'm so curious how other mom's deal with this.
My oldests, both boys, are 17 and only the one has a serious girlfriend and it's his first real one. They have been going out since October and it seems pretty serious but they both recognize they're only teenagers.
Elementary school age the basic rule was that boy/girl relationships do not extend outside of school. ie. you can 'go out' at school, where we can't control everything, but there are no phone calls or meeting up outside of school. No texting, no Facebook friend'ing, no emailing, etc...
Middle school age, group activities only. Texting/calling is fine but mom ultimately makes the judgement call.
High school age, they are old enough to go out on dates alone, but they are given the expectation that their integrity is at stake. It has been explained to Jake recently that it is also his job to protect his girlfriend's reputation (which is why it was NOT cool for him to come home with a hickey a few weeks ago :blink: ) and to uphold the rules her mother and father have put in place. To remember that his little sister is watching what he does, etc. Not allowed in the basement or behind closed doors in our home. He is responsible for himself at her house.
Overall it doesn't freak me out TOO badly because my kids have way better respect and standards for themselves than I ever did. I was boy crazy and sexually active and experimenting with drugs/alcohol and horribly rebellious when I was much younger than the boys. I gave my parents a run for their money, lol!
I'm so pleased with my kids! I know someday I'm going to hear about some nutso things they've done, but we talk about so much already that I feel ok about their choices.
Tell me! I'm so curious how other mom's deal with this.
I am praying this lasts a while longer! We did though just have "the talk" with him a bit, because well I don't want him to hear about sex, and things of that nature from his friends first and hope he knows he can always talk to us about anything.
He grew up even faster when his dad died when he was 15; we moved back to Maine and he settled into one place for his last 3 years of high school. He had dated before then but not anything major. Then right at the beginning of his sophomore year he met a girl and they started spending all their free time together (she did go to a different high school though). My rules were always no closed doors (we didn't have a basement then) and no excessive displays of affection (i.e. making out). I didn't mind them cozying up on the couch while we were all watching TV - he was and still is a very touchy-feely person (unlike me and Cheyanne) and that's his love language - I didn't mind the occasional smooch in front of me (just not totally sucking face 
