Do you worry you're creating mini neurotic people in your kids?

lauren grier

lauren grier

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Germs are a big time phobia of mine. Like. Interfere with my daily living phobia. I'm a lot better than I used to be.. There was a time in my life I couldn't sit down on chairs outside of my own house. That sort of neurotic :p in some sort of weird contrast Connor rebelled against that and was pretty just plain disgusting like most boys lol. I think over time realizing I wasn't going to die if Connor touched something in a store - helped me function like a normal human being. I've noticed he's starting to swing the other way lately though. With the current state of the world with this virus or that one ( or you know. The big one) I've reverted a little - and noticed he's starting to obsessively disinfect.. Himself. He practically bathes in Purell all day long at school, to the point the teacher reprimanded him. He's still a normal kid and gross .. But I want to try to find the happy and healthy balance. I know Purell is actually like .. Not good for you, esp in large quantities... So how do you encourage that mindfulness of germs in your kids without going overboard ? I just don't want him to turn into the weirdo I was a few years ago.. Circling chairs at his therapy appointments like a weird vulture because I could not make myself touch them ><
 
I would just let him know that purell isn't that good for you in large quantities and give him other options.

I'm constantly on the boys' cases about chewing with their mouths open and jamesen yells at marcus all the time for not closing his mouth now, lol
 
lol .. they're such weird little sponges. I think it's cute he yells at him for having his mouth open LOL
 
Oh I'm definitely raising a bunch of future crazy people. They have no hope. :p

Sean is a germophobe. He has serious anxiety over anything related to vomit or people being nauseous. But, just like Connor, he's a totally gross boy. I wish his anxiety crossed over into day-to-day hygiene. But, alas, he's just freaked out about who might be sick. We haven't purposely shielded him from anything to do with Ebola, but we probably should. It would freak him the freak out.

Good luck, La. :D
 
Lyd said:
Oh I'm definitely raising a bunch of future crazy people. They have no hope. :p

Sean is a germophobe. He has serious anxiety over anything related to vomit or people being nauseous. But, just like Connor, he's a totally gross boy. I wish his anxiety crossed over into day-to-day hygiene. But, alas, he's just freaked out about who might be sick. We haven't purposely shielded him from anything to do with Ebola, but we probably should. It would freak him the freak out.

Good luck, La. :D
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My guy seems to have picked up my lack of love for creepy crawly things (especially 8 legged ones). And now that we live in rattlesnake country I'm a bit neurotic about *snakes*. He's got that one from me. So much so that he doesn't like to swim in the 'river' like all the other kids do...give me a pool any day...Did you know rattlesnakes swim in rivers!!! Egads.
 
Being a germaphobe who can't function is not a good thing to pass on, for sure. I mean... it's good to have hygiene. It's good to teach our kids caution about germs and recognize that there are downright gross people in the world who don't wash their hands, wipe their snot on their hands, and poop & pee on public toilet seats. So, we have to be the ones to protect our own health... since not everyone is on the same page. :p BUT we also have to teach them to trust our bodies and let our immune system do it's job. i.e. not using antibacterial gel every 30 minutes & actually harming our natural defense.

So yeah... have a balance. Don't live & breathe it... give C a new mantra to replace that growing obsession. So, basically, since he has grasped it fully you probably don't have to mention it anymore or verbalize it to him. And if in a rare moment you do see him doing something off, like not washing his hands after using the toilet (or whatever, fill in the blanks) Don't say anything! If you see it 3 or 4 times then you can. But 1 time now & then means he's completely normal. ;)
 
I like to think that I haven't rubbed my crazy off on my kids but my eldest is proving that my "playing it cool" with him isn't working - he's got a serious case of the crazies just like his momma.

I'm totally not a germaphobe at all so that kind of stuff doesn't bother me but I am just very much a "worst case scenario" kind of person. I try very hard to not show this side of myself to my kids because I don't want them to freak out about things like I do but obviously I'm not hiding it well. :p This weekend, we were driving to my uncles house about 2 hours from here, and my stepdad mentioned a short time into the trip that we would need to stop and get gas. My 6 year old spent the next 30 minutes NON-STOP questioning how much gas we had and how awful it would be if we ran out of gas and we were so far from home and how could we make it there with no gas?!?!?!? It made me nutty! And I'm usually the one worrying about that kind of stuff.
 
Oh I just realized I didn't really answer the question. Although I am not a good source to answer since I'm not a germaphobe, we just stress the importance of hand-washing after using the bathroom or touching something gross (like at the petting zoo), covering coughs, etc. But I'm so much not a big germaphobe that I am pretty sure my kids won't be either - probably I need to work a little harder on having them fear germs a little more than they do. :p
 
I forgot to add mine... my kids, especially Ben, have picked up on my fear of bugs. They are terrified of anything that buzzes or flies outside (other than birds). Ben is getting super obsessed with bees/wasps and has a hard time playing outside since he frequently runs into the house screaming. :blink:
 
I battle anxiety (just mild anxiety, thankfully), and I try not to pass that on to the kids through my attitude or actions. But unfortunately it tends to run in my family, and my oldest clearly got those genes. :( He's a news junkie (at 10 years old; he's my father in miniature, LOL), but he doesn't get as anxious about things he's heard on the news as I'd expect him to. Even though he's interested, I think it seems a little too removed from his own life. His anxiety tends to be about things that affect his immediate environment more, like fear of someone in the family getting hurt or getting separated from us on elevators.
 
I don't worry that I'm doing it; I know that I am doing it and it can't be helped. :p

I'm not a germaphobe, but I can be neurotic/obsessive abt planning and abt things being a certain way. DD5 is the same way and asks me every night at bedtime what we are doing the next day. She does not deal well with a change in routine and sometimes gets upset if you have told her that we are going to do XYZ and end up doing ABC. She takes an hour+ to clean her noteally-that-messy room because she wants things put away a certain way and in a certain order.

She also will correct her father (or anyone else) if they are not doing something the way that I usually do it. :p
 
YepBrook said:
I forgot to add mine... my kids, especially Ben, have picked up on my fear of bugs. They are terrified of anything that buzzes or flies outside (other than birds). Ben is getting super obsessed with bees/wasps and has a hard time playing outside since he frequently runs into the house screaming. :blink:
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This is j to a t! He will not go back outside if so much as a fly buzzes him! He hates getting dirty... Won't even save the worms for mama, which hubby doesn't appreciate when it comes to fishing...



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I am raising off-kilter crazy boys, but I learned to be careful. LOL

I am not a germaphobe, but I am a neat freak. lol! I noticed when my youngest was little, he would tell his daddy where his shoes went or tell him he might not find things or trip over things if he didn't put things away. Oops. I've since been a little more relaxed and try to let things slide here and there, so my youngest is kinda normal. The oldest still is a neat freak. My youngest, however, doesn't like sticky things... and I think he picked that up from me too.

I knew I didn't want them afraid of bugs, lol. So, when we would encounter them, I think I made them touch them... and for them to do that, I had to do it first. Yuck yuck yuck, boy, I sucked it up, lol! If anything, they aren't afraid of bugs NOW, and know that I dislike them... so, they get a giggle and ask me to touch them... and now I usually run away.

I think every parent passes on things knowingly and unknowingly to their kids. It end up being what makes them who they are. I enjoy it, if anything. Everyone has a little crazy and some idiosyncrasies.
 
I don't know if this will impress Connor but our relationship to "germs" is more complicated that just "all germs are bad". We definitely need to be exposed to germs when we're kids to develop a healthy immune system (there is a lot of support for the rise of allergies being related to the lack of immune challenges in childhood since we don't all grow up exposed to farm animals anymore :)) . And of course, billions of bacteria keep our skin healthy and help us digest food. There are treatments these days that actually introduce "good" germs to help the body function right.

Which is not to say that you shouldn't wash your hands to stop from getting a nasty cold (and my son has one of those awful kid viruses right now that I really wish we didn't have). But, it is a balance and overdoing it can cause more harm than good.

Except when it comes to Ebola. :)
 
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