Kindergarten HELP!!!!

nun69

nun69

New member
so I need some advice...does anybody have or had a child that had a late birthday (Peyton's is in July so he is young to start kindy, but made the cutoff) and did you have any trouble with them adjusting to school? Peyton started yesterday (all day here) and he had a few setbacks but nothing like today :( He yelled in another kids face and wouldn't mind the teacher and was trying to run around the room. He also did NOT sleep well last night and I think he was totally over stimulated.....somebody tell me he will get in a routine and do ok and not have to wait until next year to start kindergarten cause it will break my heart if he does :(:crying:
 
First thing Id do is contact to school to see about setting up an IEP for him even if he does not need one for learning (my son did) they should be able to do it for behavior goals. And that will be decided by you, the teachers, IEP coordinator and possibly administrator and guidance counseler or behavior specialist. My sons first year in school he had a lot of behavior goals on his IEP. He did get better but it took a lot of work, patience and him sitting in his room on timeout when he had bad days.
 
My kiddo made the cutoff by 11 days...we're holding him back. I thought the all day would be a bit much right now and wanted him to have another year of social maturity before starting...

I hope he adjusts soon!
 
My son has a July birthday and did fine last year in K. It took a long time (weeks) to get into the routine and not be exhausted every day. But, once he was in the routine, it was good. For him, I was more worried about the academic side of things rather than his behavior, though. He does have a hard time sitting still and focusing at home, but somehow it's never been an issue at school.
 
The cut off in Washington was 5yrs by the first day of school. My oldest wasn't 5 until November, so he did a second year of preschool (which was 2 days a week, 5hrs at a time). I was upset about him having to wait - but looking back, I am beyond glad he didn't start until later. I don't think he would have been okay emotionally. And it was all day K, so it would have been really hard. An extra year to grow and mature really did him wonders, so if you do have to pull your kiddo out, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It might be what he needs :)
 
((Hugs)) It's hard to watch them struggle. I wouldn't pull him after 2 days, but to be honest you may want to reassess in a month or so (and meet with the teacher before making a decision). Some kids adjust and are fine, and others continue to struggle. That extra year can make such a big difference.

My oldest misses the cutoff by about a week, so I didn't have the option to send him. But if I had the option, I still would have held him. He wasn't ready that first year, and a year later he'd matured so much and I knew he'd do well. Some of the younger kids in his class had a much harder time, especially since they were more than a year younger than students with summer birthdays who had been held a year.

ETA: My sister made the cutoff by 3 weeks back when we were in school, and on the advice of preschool teachers my parents sent her. She did fine, but not great. At the time they were happy with their decision. A few years later when she'd reached the ages where a 1-year difference wasn't as noticeable, she started to do very well both academically and socially. In hindsight my mother wishes she'd held my sister a year and thinks being the youngest in her class affected her more than they realized.
 
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well the good thing is he has the same teacher that my DD had last year and I already talked with her before school started and today so the good thing is I have a great realtionship with her already. We also talked to Peyton (without yelling at him) and letting him know that it wasn't ok to yell at other kids or be out of his seat when he wasn't suppose to be. And he understood. I think another thing is he has ALWAYS been in in home daycare (certified provider) and she has never had more than 6 kids so I think really socially is what he hAS to work at. So I am hoping that in a few weeks he will be good to go...thanks for the advice girls :)
 
Yeah, I can see where going from 6 to 20+ would be overstimulating! I hope he gets used to it and has a great year.
 
I agree with Rachel give him a month to adjust...If the teacher is willing to be patient and work with him thru it that's a plus...
 
I had both situations. When DS started K he missed the cutoff by 4 days for the state we lived in back in 1992. It ended up being good for him that he started the next year. He was always more mature and was a leader and able to handle every situation that came along.

Here in Maine the cutoff isn't until October 15 and Cheyanne turned 5 four days before school started in August. I debated back and forth about starting her so young but she had been in preschool since the age of 3 and was so ready socially, so I started her. She did really well until about 3rd grade and then had a few years where she struggled and was behind in just about every aspect. However, she's now in 7th grade and is doing well again. Socially she has been okay all along but she struggled with comprehension for a few years.

I know this isn't much help with the behavioral issues though! LOL
 
They have young 5's here in Michigan for kids that are very young when school starts or miss that cut off. I think its like kindergarten/preschool mixture. Do they have that there?
 
Avery wasn't young 5 when he started but it was a huge adjustment for him. The first day his teacher said he took off running from her on the playground and she had to chase him to keep him off of the highway! That first month was really hard. He gets nose bleeds when he's stressed or anxious..usually every few months or so and that first month of Kindy his nose bled just about every single day. It took him a few weeks but once he recognized the routine of the day he was better and thank goodness the nose bleeds stopped. He had never been in preschool or daycare so I think that probably had a lot to do with it..it was an entire new world for him kwim and going all day made him very tired which just contributed to the problems at first. But then again once we all got into the routine things settled down greatly and thankfully he didn't try to run away again lol
 
Ang- I think that going from being in a home daycare to full day public school is a HUGE adjustment. My youngest turned 5 the day K started. However, she had been going to preschool since she was 2, so being in a class with rules was not new to her. She has ADD, which had not yet been diagnosed. So K was a rough year but the teacher worked with us a lot. Also, K is all about learning how school works, so I think this is normal.

Does the teacher do any kind of behavior notices to the parents each day? Our K did green star for being good all day, yellow for getting in trouble, red for getting in trouble a lot. We did an incentive chart the first 9 weeks and 5 green stars equaled a trip to the Dollar Spot. Then after a few weeks I stretched it out to 10 green stars for a trip. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th 9 weeks we expected green stars. If she got yellow there was no TV that night. Red meant she had to go to room after dinner for the night. There was maybe 1 red the whole year and quite a few yellows sprinkled in, but it worked.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll find a solution that will work for him.
 
I am not going to be much help, but I thought I'd chime in with a (((HUG))) and my own personal story... DS is a June birthday and I chose to give him a growth year so he started K this year at 6. I can say that at 5 he was definitely smart enough to start school but still needed some mental rest time... he sometimes even took an afternoon nap. I held him back not so much because he wasn't ready for K. Statistics showed that the younger kids can have another tough adjustment around 4th or 5th grade, and then another tough time around 7th or 8th. Especially boys, as the younger ones will hit puberty later. Ahh, it's not a HUGE deal, but since I had a choice I decided to wait. I really just saw no point in sending Ben because I was considering homeschooling at that time, anyways.

But I can definitely see the benefit in you sending Peyton to K this year when the alternative is home daycare... I think the school environment will be a lot better for him in the long run. Like others have said, it is a BIG change for him. I think he will adjust, it might be a painful process, but he will be ok. :) Especially since his teacher is familiar with you and will be helpful. Hang in there, mama!!! :D

(Just know that if he doesn't adjust and they suggest he do K next year, that will be OK too!)
 
I agree with those who said give him more time to adjust. They expect a lot of kindergarteners these days and the demands are definitely an adjustment for them. My niece is the same age as my oldest dd and they pulled her out of K very early on - like after the first week because they didn't feel she was adjusting well to full-day K. My sister-in-law has told me that they regret the switch now. She hadn't ever been in daycare prior to going to K and she just needed more of an adjustment period than they gave her. Now she is so far ahead of her peers academically and physically that she gets bored at school and is embarrassed by her height/size because she stands head and shoulders over most of her classmates. Not saying this is the norm, but just wanted to share another side of the coin.
 
My brother has a September birthday, and my mom held him back a year so that he would be more ready socially. Now, he was the only one out of 5 that she sent to preschool, because he needed it for the social aspects. And, honestly, he's still socially adept. He's never quite fit in and is still at age 33 very socially awkward. Sometimes I wonder if he would have been diagnosed with something so that we could understand him better and offer more help.

DH and I both have summer birthdays, and we were both at the top of our graduating classes, and both went to school for engineering. I was already reading and doing basic math going into K though, and because of our active church participation I already knew how to sit in a class, even though we did preschool at home. Same with DH.

Some kids just have different needs. Since your teacher is already on board, talk with her and figure out what you can actively be doing to help him during a trial period. Because you are so on board, I'm sure that you will be able to find what's best for him. :)
 
Thomas was born on August 14th and we started him in all-day kindergarten last year. In all honesty, I would have preferred to hold him back, but selfishly, it's hard to palate the childcare expense (close to $10k a year). He's in 1st grade this year and we are going to see how he does. We may consider moving him back to kindergarten. The behaviors you described are totally normal for any child entering kindergarten, so I would try not to get too anxious yet. As a 4 year old kindergartener myself (born in late December), I'm not really an advocate of sending kids early, but a lot of it has to with the individual child's maturity level. Hang in there, it will get easier.
 
thanks for the advice and hugs girls:wub: :hugs:and Vanessa they do do something called "make your day" and it is based on a little point system thing. So if he doesn't "make his day" he comes home with a little slip stating what happened, we talk with him, the teacher talks with him and we sign the note. I think it will be an adjustment for him, but he seems really excited and last night he fell asleep around 5 and we let him sleep until about 7 and got him up, got him some food, got him a bath and back in bed by 9 pm and he slept all night. So I am hoping it gets easier cause he is really excited about school and really likes being able to go to school with his big brother and big sister. So I think I was just very anxious and worried last night~I also let his teacher know that if I think he had a rough night the night before school I will send a note in his binder, so that way we have some open communication without having to play phone tag :) I am so grateful for this teacher and I know if anybody can work with him, it is her :)
 
We kept my son back last year for another year of preschool which turned out to be the right thing. We had just moved to a new home, new state, new area. So even in preschool it took him time to adjust. But then about 1/2 through the year he was BORED. He really needed and wanted more academic stimulus, so I enrolled him in some martial arts classes, other 'extra-curricular' activities and started doing some pre-k homeschool in the afternoons with him.

He was SO ready for kindergarten this fall. He's in a small school in a K and 1st grade class. With that combo I'm really glad he's on the older side for the K's. I'm also glad that out small school still does a 1/2 day for kindergarten. I'm not really sure I'm sold on the all-day kindergarten thing. Seems like so much of a jump. Maybe it's good for funding, or parents, or schools, but is it really good for the kids?
 
well I actually had to go get him today at the prinicipals office cause he was a step 4 (whihc means a parent needs to have a conference) so I did and when somebody else told him that he couldn't get up cause he was in step 4 and to sit back down (the principal actually) he did not take that well and started crying! But after a chat with the teacher and she said even if he has a few more of these then he will realize that they are not there for daycare and they are there to LEARN! So he lost some of his tv priveleges tonight and he is in bed asleep, so we shall see what tomorrow brings!!!! hang in there with me girls!!!
 
Angie - it's just been a few days so he will probably adjust. But don't be afraid to change your mind and hold him for another year if that's what is recommended. Far better to do it now than in later years.

My oldest 2 were no question when to send them as they were April and October babies (cut off is 9/1 here). But the twins were born 8/28. I purposely had them before 9/1 so I could send them to school when they were 5. When the time came I didn't want to send them! I talked to everyone (principal, teachers, friends, family, etc.) and then I had to do a pros/cons thing with DH because he started when he was 4 so he thought they should go ahead (I even had a layout published about this! LOL). We ended up holding them. Best decision for us ever. K&K love being the oldest of all their friends. Plus, since I looked way long term with my pros/cons it saves us from having 3 in college at the same time.

Good luck and keep us posted!
 
Oh no, I'm sorry he had another hard day! But it sounds like your school and teacher are dealing with the situation very well. Hang in there!

kristijoy said:
I'm not really sure I'm sold on the all-day kindergarten thing. Seems like so much of a jump. Maybe it's good for funding, or parents, or schools, but is it really good for the kids?
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Before my oldest started kindergarten, I thought exactly like you did about full day kindergarten. At that point some schools in our district did full day K and others still did half day. After talking to friends whose kids were in half day programs, I started to be glad my DS was in a full day program. Kindergarten is much more academic than it used to be; I think more is expected of kids at all grade levels. The kids in half day K had to master the same academic material as those in full day, and the only way to make time for that was to take out all the extras (fewer specials) and fun things (recess, some of the crafts, etc). The kids who were in half day programs didn't enjoy them as much and seemed to feel more pressure to work, work, work. In a perfect world I'd still prefer that half day introduction to school for kindergarteners, but since I think the trend toward a more advanced kindergarten curriculum is here to stay, I'd rather pair it with a full day schedule.
 
yeah I really like the full day part and it sounds like since he was still taking a nap in daycare until last week, after lunch seems to be his hardest time...so far though his sleeping pattern and him getting up have been very good, but he did say tonight "I don't ant to go back to school tomorrow" and I had to tell him that he has too, just like Ben, Abby & Sam. So we shall see :)
 
Kindergarten is quite an adjustment. Our school starts at 7:45 and it's a full day of school. For both my boys, I made sure we didn't do any Fall sports or activities for the first semester of Kindergarten. It's just too much going on. Plus I can't overemphasize the importance of getting a good night's sleep. For kindergarten, we started our bedtime routine between 6:30 and 6:45pm so that they could be sleeping by 7pm. I know that sounds extra early, but they really needed the rest. I can't stand trying to yank my boys out of bed in the morning because that just guarantees they'll start the day cranky and dragging. Even now that they are in 2nd and 4th grade, I still put them to bed much earlier than any of their friends.

When boys are over tired, their behaviors can get either extra rowdy/combative or extra whiny/sulky. You might even have your son take a nap as soon as he gets home from school. He'll fight it, but you can rest with him.

Good luck with your transitions. In our school, we've also had a few boys repeat kindergarten and it's not as big of a deal of we make it out to be. Hang in there.
 
Okay, I have a bit of a story... We started Xander in kinder. His bday is July 15th and he is by far the smallest. His maturity level just was not there. It took about 4 weeks to adjust to schooling. Then we had Christmas break and it was hell all over again after that. First grade started with a couple of hard weeks as well. Then we moved back to the states and the academics are so much harder here than they were over in SK. He was already behind in maturity they said with his age then the academics too. It was just way too much. So we decided for him to redo first grade this year at a new school with new kids. He is now on the older end but doing a million times better. I get not just good, but great reports everyday. Holding him back was the best thing for him. My daughter probably would've been a different case, but we went for what was right for him. I think it will help in the future too. We didn't want him to keep continuing on and struggling every year. GL to you Angie, it can be really hard. (((hugs)))
 
Thanks Britt!!!!! we are definetely gonna try it out first and see how he does and then if it doesn't work out then we will go from there.....
 
Our cut off here is January 1st. Rachael turned 5 in November, so she was able to start Kindergarten at age 4. I really wanted to wait, she needed another year, and at that time, I was still trying to get someone to listen to me when I was telling them something wasn't right. Well, my DH wouldn't have it, because that just isn't "done" here. Kids go to school here whenever they are supposed to (even though we had the option if we wanted). So she started that September at age 4. Right away, she struggled. She would not sit in her seat, and was a considerable flight risk. She tried to leave to come home more than once! She was however, diagnosed autistic the following year, which enabled us to get a precious few minutes here and there with a student assistant.

Benjamin had some issues (his birthday is Sept), and Amelia did as well, and she is the oldest in her grade, her birthday is in January. It's hard to adjust from daycare to school, and I would definitely give him a little more time before you pull the plug on it!
 
nun69 said:
yeah I really like the full day part and it sounds like since he was still taking a nap in daycare until last week, after lunch seems to be his hardest time
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I wouldn't be surprised if that's the biggest cause of his behavior problems, with his age and the transition from a small daycare to a big class just compounding the lack of control from being exhausted. My now-first grader struggled in the afternoon the entire year of K because he was so tired. (Over the summer we'd tried to do away with his nap to get him ready for kindergarten, but he just couldn't make it through the day without one.) But my little guy has a sleep disorder and other special needs; I'm sure your DS will adjust to not napping much faster and better than my DS did, and then you'll be able to get a better idea how he'll do in K.

nikkiARNGwife said:
Do they not take naps for full day Kindy? They do here in MS...after lunch they all have to rest for an hour.
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We have a 30 minute rest time at the beginning of the year which is gradually phased out. Naps aren't encouraged, but some of the kids (even those who haven't napped in ages) are so worn out that they do fall asleep for a few minutes. Ironically, my chronically tired DS with the sleep disorder refused to sleep at rest time. He would have had a much better year if he'd taken a 30 minute nap every day.
 
My son is in 1st this year. He started kindergarten at 5.5 years old as he has a fall birthday and we have an August 31st cut off. It was STILL an adjustment for us. I got a call from his teacher the first day of school last year. He was academically ready for kindergarten at 3 years old (he's been reading fluently since then, knew all of his numbers, letters, colors, shapes, and lots of simple math) but he still struggled in kindergarten with learning to control his impulses and such. I think that it is just an adjustment for kids that it is hard on many of them regardless of whether they are almost 5, barely 5 or older.

My son wishes they took naps in kindergarten here! He came home every day exhausted. No naps though, no rest time either. All day K with lots of work. I agree that kindergarten is so much more academic now than it was when we were kids. I balked at putting my daughter in full day K back when she started. I was told I could pick her up at lunch and she could just go half a day but I realized how much they cover in a day and I knew she'd miss out so she stayed all day. She was barely 5 but extremely mature for her age. Had her brother been barely 5, I don't know how he would have done...
 
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