tell me something...

I talk negatively about myself to myself AND to others (spouse, children, sister, cousins). I see you @laurabobaura . I've really tried to overcome this toxic trait, and I will succeed for short periods of time. Then life or just my personality pushes back and then I start making new lists of all the reasons why I suck.

I procrastinate on anything and everything. Sometimes that works to my advantage, but the majority of the time it doesn't. Then I get really stressed out, running around trying to complete something that could have been completed perfectly and on time/early.
 
I'm really bad with conflicts...I run and hide from them, cause I always tend to get way
too emotional...I'm also bad at pointing out my needs to others and I'm bad as seeing myself
as the awesome, sweet and beautiful woman I am from time to time
 
Cheryl Ashcraft said:
I talk negatively about myself to myself AND to others (spouse, children, sister, cousins). I see you @laurabobaura . I've really tried to overcome this toxic trait, and I will succeed for short periods of time. Then life or just my personality pushes back and then I start making new lists of all the reasons why I suck.

I procrastinate on anything and everything. Sometimes that works to my advantage, but the majority of the time it doesn't. Then I get really stressed out, running around trying to complete something that could have been completed perfectly and on time/early.
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same... and I even treat what I am talking about myself as 'joke', but it is not. lol
my therapist used to call me out with 'hey, Rubia, not let's be serious' :P
 
Natascha said:
I'm really bad with conflicts...I run and hide from them, cause I always tend to get way
too emotional...I'm also bad at pointing out my needs to others and I'm bad as seeing myself
as the awesome, sweet and beautiful woman I am from time to time
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why do we do that to ourselves? argh. :(
 
Geez, all of the above. I also suffer from I Suck Syndrome and have been a doormat most of my life. . .until recently. While I'm still a doormat pretty much, I've decided not to wait for people to show up for me or help me with anything. If you supposedly "love" me and can still walk by me while I'm sobbing about something horrific because, like Lorie said, it's easier to bury your head in the sand, then I pretty much don't feel like anyone has my back. I'm not going to force people to show up for me because then it would just be performative. So, I am now showing up for and helping myself. And, learning to do things by myself and have fun.
I was on a flight recently that re-opened the doors for a lady to board, and we got to talking. She said that they let her on our flight to save her a four hour layover. She was coming from Paris. . .traveling by herself! I aspire to be that lady. Confident, nice enough to get people to want to do things for you, and brave enough to travel the world by herself. I'm working on it!
(And if I do hit the Post button, that would be huge for me. I'm also bad at rambling on a post and then deleting it because no one cares what I have to say, right? Because that is what my brain tells me.)
 
LynnZant said:
Geez, all of the above. I also suffer from I Suck Syndrome and have been a doormat most of my life. . .until recently. While I'm still a doormat pretty much, I've decided not to wait for people to show up for me or help me with anything. If you supposedly "love" me and can still walk by me while I'm sobbing about something horrific because, like Lorie said, it's easier to bury your head in the sand, then I pretty much don't feel like anyone has my back. I'm not going to force people to show up for me because then it would just be performative. So, I am now showing up for and helping myself. And, learning to do things by myself and have fun.
I was on a flight recently that re-opened the doors for a lady to board, and we got to talking. She said that they let her on our flight to save her a four hour layover. She was coming from Paris. . .traveling by herself! I aspire to be that lady. Confident, nice enough to get people to want to do things for you, and brave enough to travel the world by herself. I'm working on it!
(And if I do hit the Post button, that would be huge for me. I'm also bad at rambling on a post and then deleting it because no one cares what I have to say, right? Because that is what my brain tells me.)
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I'm so glad you hit post.

"I'm not going to force people to show up for me because then it would just be performative. So, I am now showing up for and helping myself."
That right there is such a strong statement and I need to try to internalize it.
 
Late to the pity party here- jk! But I'm the same Ru. I never ask for help and I'm terrible about saying no & setting boundaries for myself. I also am a part of the club where "I'll just do it myself" ends up putting so much on my plate. Especially right now- May is stupid. With graduation, planning graduation parties, being a board member for the Senior All nighter party (I'm doing all the media & notes) and end of the school year, teacher gifts, making grad cards for so many (still have to make mother's day cards), managing family members coming into to town that don't get along, cleaning my house, cooking meals, working 2 jobs etc etc. My husband picks up on my stress, mostly since I tend to take it out on him and tries to help- but I'm such a micro-manager that it pisses him off usually. lol.

One year my one little word was NO and only doing the things for people that brought me joy. It was a good year. I need to focus on that again.
 
LynnZant said:
Geez, all of the above. I also suffer from I Suck Syndrome and have been a doormat most of my life. . .until recently. While I'm still a doormat pretty much, I've decided not to wait for people to show up for me or help me with anything. If you supposedly "love" me and can still walk by me while I'm sobbing about something horrific because, like Lorie said, it's easier to bury your head in the sand, then I pretty much don't feel like anyone has my back. I'm not going to force people to show up for me because then it would just be performative. So, I am now showing up for and helping myself. And, learning to do things by myself and have fun.
I was on a flight recently that re-opened the doors for a lady to board, and we got to talking. She said that they let her on our flight to save her a four hour layover. She was coming from Paris. . .traveling by herself! I aspire to be that lady. Confident, nice enough to get people to want to do things for you, and brave enough to travel the world by herself. I'm working on it!
(And if I do hit the Post button, that would be huge for me. I'm also bad at rambling on a post and then deleting it because no one cares what I have to say, right? Because that is what my brain tells me.)
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same! and hugs! and I am already seeing your in the future doing it for you. ♥
 
AmieN1 said:
Late to the pity party here- jk! But I'm the same Ru. I never ask for help and I'm terrible about saying no & setting boundaries for myself. I also am a part of the club where "I'll just do it myself" ends up putting so much on my plate. Especially right now- May is stupid. With graduation, planning graduation parties, being a board member for the Senior All nighter party (I'm doing all the media & notes) and end of the school year, teacher gifts, making grad cards for so many (still have to make mother's day cards), managing family members coming into to town that don't get along, cleaning my house, cooking meals, working 2 jobs etc etc. My husband picks up on my stress, mostly since I tend to take it out on him and tries to help- but I'm such a micro-manager that it pisses him off usually. lol.

One year my one little word was NO and only doing the things for people that brought me joy. It was a good year. I need to focus on that again.
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to be honest, I am sooo impressed that thread got so many answers... I really thought no one would answer me and it makes me happy somehow you all came and shared a little bit about each one of you. sharing stuff helps - I know that for sure!

and what a great word! I should try it myself! ♥
 
Interesting topic for sure. I am terrible with obsessing about things which is a good and bad thing, especially bad if I spend a ton of money and then give up the obsession. If you ask my hubby he'll tell you it's a bad thing (meaning financially) LOL.

For instance, I bought a bracelet at a craft fair and talked to the designer for a few min. I thought, hmmm, maybe I could make that. Then I drove over to Michael's and bought my first jewelry tool kit. Then I started buying tons (and I mean tons) of beads, wire, chain etc and then started buying more and more tools, started taking classes and watching videos. Now my office is full, it looks like I've been designing for years (not like 16 months lol). I've spent a small fortune which drove my hubby crazy so am trying to cut back on purchases now and just work with what I have. I bought tons of displays for setup at markets but after doing them last summer I am tired of doing that and don't want to give up my wkends for that (so now I need to sell the stuff I just bought last summer...ugh).

Photography was another obsession, way back when I was a paper scrapper and wanted to take more photos so bought my first digital, a rebel XT. Next thing you know, I am going to college, getting certified, bought numerous cameras, lighting equipment, lenses, etc. Luckily that obsession stuck with me and served me well b/c I got into wedding/portrait photography which then reimbursed me for all the money I spent which probably saved my marriage LOL. My poor hubby is not a spender and it drove him crazy, all my purchases.

Nowadays I try to curb my obsessing about things b/c we are retired now and I need to be more responsible about money and decisions. It's not easy though b/c I get caught up in excitement.
 
bcgal00 said:
Interesting topic for sure. I am terrible with obsessing about things which is a good and bad thing, especially bad if I spend a ton of money and then give up the obsession. If you ask my hubby he'll tell you it's a bad thing (meaning financially) LOL.

For instance, I bought a bracelet at a craft fair and talked to the designer for a few min. I thought, hmmm, maybe I could make that. Then I drove over to Michael's and bought my first jewelry tool kit. Then I started buying tons (and I mean tons) of beads, wire, chain etc and then started buying more and more tools, started taking classes and watching videos. Now my office is full, it looks like I've been designing for years (not like 16 months lol). I've spent a small fortune which drove my hubby crazy so am trying to cut back on purchases now and just work with what I have. I bought tons of displays for setup at markets but after doing them last summer I am tired of doing that and don't want to give up my wkends for that (so now I need to sell the stuff I just bought last summer...ugh).

Photography was another obsession, way back when I was a paper scrapper and wanted to take more photos so bought my first digital, a rebel XT. Next thing you know, I am going to college, getting certified, bought numerous cameras, lighting equipment, lenses, etc. Luckily that obsession stuck with me and served me well b/c I got into wedding/portrait photography which then reimbursed me for all the money I spent which probably saved my marriage LOL. My poor hubby is not a spender and it drove him crazy, all my purchases.

Nowadays I try to curb my obsessing about things b/c we are retired now and I need to be more responsible about money and decisions. It's not easy though b/c I get caught up in excitement.
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I think you should send me some bracelet so I can see if all that $ you spent was worthy. lol

Miss you!!! ♥
 
Rubia Padilha said:
I think you should send me some bracelet so I can see if all that $ you spent was worthy. lol

Miss you!!! ♥
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I've only got about 300 to choose from LOL, I don't do anything too complicated yet, lots of beaded stuff and have started wire wrapping. Fun to do as I watch videos or tv. Gotta keep the brain busy, right? Miss you too but do keep up on your life thru FB. It's nice to be back here though and hang out which is more personal.
 
bcgal00 said:
Interesting topic for sure. I am terrible with obsessing about things which is a good and bad thing, especially bad if I spend a ton of money and then give up the obsession. If you ask my hubby he'll tell you it's a bad thing (meaning financially) LOL.

For instance, I bought a bracelet at a craft fair and talked to the designer for a few min. I thought, hmmm, maybe I could make that. Then I drove over to Michael's and bought my first jewelry tool kit. Then I started buying tons (and I mean tons) of beads, wire, chain etc and then started buying more and more tools, started taking classes and watching videos. Now my office is full, it looks like I've been designing for years (not like 16 months lol). I've spent a small fortune which drove my hubby crazy so am trying to cut back on purchases now and just work with what I have. I bought tons of displays for setup at markets but after doing them last summer I am tired of doing that and don't want to give up my wkends for that (so now I need to sell the stuff I just bought last summer...ugh).

Photography was another obsession, way back when I was a paper scrapper and wanted to take more photos so bought my first digital, a rebel XT. Next thing you know, I am going to college, getting certified, bought numerous cameras, lighting equipment, lenses, etc. Luckily that obsession stuck with me and served me well b/c I got into wedding/portrait photography which then reimbursed me for all the money I spent which probably saved my marriage LOL. My poor hubby is not a spender and it drove him crazy, all my purchases.

Nowadays I try to curb my obsessing about things b/c we are retired now and I need to be more responsible about money and decisions. It's not easy though b/c I get caught up in excitement.
Click to expand...
This is so me. I totally go overboard on everything, especially hobbies, decor, pretty things. I went crazy when I was decorating my house to the point that I have so much stuff "left over" I could open a shop of my own.

I actually have three different themes for my grandson's room, Mickey Mouse, Dinosaurs and Cars. And I have holiday decor for it as well. For Christmas, I have two themes, Disney and Christmas trees/cars. I have bedding, wall art, rugs, etc for all of those. It is nuts for sure.

Once the house was pretty much done, I went so wild on ribbon and faux florals for wreath making that I now have a little wreath studio in my family room. I was spending so much money, I had to find a place to sell them. I don't make too many too quickly, but I have enough stuff to make a business of it and I have found a place to sell what I make so that makes it "acceptable" in my mind.

I tell myself I am just getting ready for retirement, when I will need to have things to do, but in reality it is me going overboard again. Lately, I have been able to curb the need to buy more stuff for it and have promised myself I will work through what I have. We will see.

If I had a husband, he would probably lose his mind on all the money I have spent on decor and hobbies.
 
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