I totally get what you mean! I used to feel the same way about black eyeliner—it can be a little harsh, especially if you're not wearing much else on your face. If you're looking for something softer and more natural, I’d recommend trying a brown or bronze eyeliner instead. They add definition without being too intense, and they’re perfect for a more everyday look.
As for brands, I’ve had great luck with Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil—it goes on super smooth and lasts all day. The shade “Whiskey” is a really pretty rich brown. If you’re looking for a drugstore option, NYX Epic Wear Liner Stick or Maybelline TattooStudio Gel Pencil are also really good!
And if you’re still unsure, try smudging the liner a bit with a brush or your finger—it gives a softer, more diffused look that’s less raccoon-y