Spinoff: Social Media & Kids

[KateD]

I'm surprised so many young kids have their own facebook accounts. The facebook 'rules' state:

Facebook requires everyone to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account (in some jurisdictions, this age limit may be higher). Creating an account with false info is a violation of our terms. This includes accounts registered on the behalf of someone under 13.

Me, too, Jacinda. Many of my 14-year-old's friends (and some of my 12-year old's friends) have accounts and have for a few years. Many of them have their own smartphones, too :blink:. My son does have an iPod touch and a hand-me-down laptop and blackberry (with the web disabled because I'm too cheap to pay for it ). The rule in our house is that they definitely won't have a FB account until they're 13 and it's legal and then we'll talk about it and decide.

Well, my pretty responsible older son lied when he was 13 and signed up for a g-mail and FB account. The accounts were disabled until he turned 13-1/2. When I turned it back on we had a big discussion about the rules, etc. He didn't seem to care too much about having an account again, nor was he very active on it. I found out about 2 weeks ago that he had signed up for another e-mail and FB account, probably before he turned 13. Sigh. That explained the lack of activity on his old account. I've looked at his new account and he's been pretty responsible with it. He doesn't have a crazy amount of friends and even started a FB group for his Christian friends to chat about things. (He does now see the irony about using a FB account he lied and disobeyed to get to chat about being a Christ-follower).

I'm not going to ban him from social media, but we do talk about its proper use. I also have his passwords and he knows that I could look at his account at any time.

I am looking into options for filtering/monitoring services. My ISP has one available that I can set up with my kids' social media accounts and log into one place to see what they're doing with their accounts. I think I can also block certain YouTube videos and things that I don't want them seeing. I don't really want to monitor, but I know it's a good idea.

 

[Robin Carlton]

Robin, I think your attitude works in your family because it's true to you. Most of us couldn't go a whole day without checking in to social media without getting all twitchy and stuff.

I'm sure this is true Kellie! I'm admittedly a bit of a FB hater, you can ask the designers lol. To get our SSD FB page more active was like pulling teeth from me. Traci has done an awesome job in that department around here, and I'm really grateful to have someone who "gets it" running that for us!

Getting involved in social media is just really hard for me because I feel like I'm not being true to myself and who I am in general to post or check in or obsess over asking people to look at this or that all the time, and that's not a soapboxy stance at all. More power to you if you love it, it's more of a wallflower, I just don't get it kind of thing if that makes sense.

Really interesting convo guys! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

 

[misfitinmn]

Robin, I think your attitude works in your family because it's true to you. Most of us couldn't go a whole day without checking in to social media without getting all twitchy and stuff.

So on that note, I'm going to admit that when the time comes, I'm gonna let my kids have a FB or IG or whatever account. I hope we'll be diligent about keeping their hearts in check, as well as their actions, but it's only gonna work if *we* are keeping *our* heart attitudes in check as well.

I like this. :thumbup:

 

[MommaTrish]

I can add - my kids won't be on Instagram, because if *I* don't get a smart phone they sure as heck aren't either.

 

[Stacey42]

My boys are 9 & 10 and on Minecraft & restricted You Tube accounts based on gmail accounts I set up though my word press account. They have no way to read any email on their laptop & all of it comes to my Outlook. I was surprised to learn how social Minecraft actually is. They learned about the Newtown school shootings that way while DH & I were in the kitchen discussing how to tell them. They have a core group on real life & online friends they play with Minecraft and chat with in You Tube comments of Minecraft videos. The laptop is in the living room. I'm helped in monitoring them in that the wifi signal doesn't reach their bedroom. It only reaches the living room & kitchen so any online stuff they do has to be wherever I can walk by and read over their shoulders, which I do randomly & they are so used to it they don't seem to notice any more. (though I get testy when anyone reads over mine )

I've spent a lot of time talking to the boys about privacy online & not giving out any personal information to anyone. They are Havoc & Mayhem online, period, and no one who is not a personal friend they see in real life needs to know their real names or where they live. The end. They get it. No one knows my real name online either, my Facebook account is only part of my name. I've been drumming that into their heads for 2 years now. They like having aliases. But sooner or later they will want Facebook or whatever is the Facebook in 3-4 years & we're talking about that now with them because that is a 'real name' situation. They won't get one before they are at least 13 & hopefully by then we'll have discussed it enough they'll understand the rules & expectations & oversight.

 

[rach3975]

Getting involved in social media is just really hard for me because I feel like I'm not being true to myself and who I am in general to post or check in or obsess over asking people to look at this or that all the time, and that's not a soapboxy stance at all. More power to you if you love it, it's more of a wallflower, I just don't get it kind of thing if that makes sense.

I'm a lot like that, too. I have a FB account, but I go weeks or months without posting anything to it. It's partly because I'm busy with other things when I'm online and partly because I don't feel like I have much I want to share with the world. But the majority of friends that I have on FB are former high school and college friends that I'd have lost touch with entirely if not for FB, and there are a few of them that I'm glad it has kept me in touch with.

 

[DawnMarch]

So far, I've told my 12 year old that she can't have a FB account because you have to be at least 13. When she turns 13 next month, I guess we'll look at it again.

I don't think that all social media is created equal, though. Like I find Instagram less objectionable than FB because I feel like FB is sneaky and keeps hurling stuff at you that you never asked for about people that you don't know, just because they are somehow peripherally related to someone or something you know. I am friends with my teenage nephews so I sometimes see crude or inappropriate teen-boy-type comments that their friends leave on their FB. I think "meh, they're just being teeanage boys," so I really don't care personally, but would I want my 13 year old DD seeing that? Nope.

So, it will probably be a site by site decision. Facebook maybe not. Instagram maybe so.