kids & going 'back to work'

lauren grier

lauren grier

you're like stars
oye vey.


So, I've wfh exclusively for the past 10 years. It was mostly out of necessity, I was a single mom, and needed to be home for nugget before he was school aged- when he started kindergarten I continued to work from home as it was perfect for our little family and everyone was happy :D everyone being me. lol.

Last September I decided to go back to school - obviously this meant eventually I was going to be getting an outside job. Kiddo was a little cranky about it all, but i figured hey! you're 10/11 you can deal with this change! My mother went back to work when I was 10 too! He seemed to relax about me being back in school after a couple of months, and this 2nd semester he seemed actually happy and excited for the changes rather than whining and being you know, not pleasant.

FF'd to last week, I picked up a part time job (I've been looking for one for a long time, before I'd even started school, it was inevitable that I would eventually find one :P)... and he has lost it. Completely flipping out, angry, crying, the whole nine yards. My shifts are all over the place- some are while he's at school, but some here and there are until 10pm, so he's been hanging out with my mom after school. A PLACE HE LOVES GOING. He is so happy when he goes there, he gets to play with her 3 dogs etc etc and he's usually in heaven. Now he's just angry at me for making him go -.- She had a talk with him last night while I was at work (only till 8pm) and he seemed OK, but once I picked him up again he was all womp womp womp 'i don't want you to go to work again!' cry cry cry. I was way too exhausted to deal with that right when I got out of work :/

He even went as far to 'plan' how to live on the street and be homeless because he'd rather have no food, no house, etc than me work -.-

He's very dramatic :P

Do you have any advice or words of wisdom to help ease this... he needs to snap out of this .. immediately :P for everyone's sanity sake. I'm sure over time he will adjust but holy drama right now, i can't deal!! :blink:
 
Sounds like Zach when he has a reaction to anything.
If the boy was actually home enough and didn't make me want to stab my eyes I could totally make funnier posts about "Why is Zach crying today?" that would make Mason seem rational.

Aren't 10/11 year old boys fun???
 
I know. And I have two going through this phase now as Ryan (9) is turning into a hormonal overly emotional mess too.

And to think I once thought I was lucky for having boys.
 
Not helpful at all, but my honest first response to this was...

Put him in a box. Add snacks. Duct tape box.

Then I erased and left the thread.

Then I thought, La will understand and here I am again haha. Andy is 10 too and OMG... everything is a freakin' sob fest. I'm like... WTF have I done wrong that he's such a baby, so it's nice to know that other boys are all emo all over the place. The girls NEVER did this, so it's making me bananas.
 
Well.. as you know.. Lucas would be very much the same and so I have no real suggestions.

I honestly just expect you to figure all this out so that when Lucas is at that age I have real sound advice. hahahahhaha

Whoever said girls are the drama queens did not have sensitive boys because Lily is nothing compared to him lol

Sorry I have no helpful suggestions.
 
Seriously. Zach was crying last night because he didn't want to go to Bella and Ryan's choir performance and we didn't make him but we still went and he had to go to his best friend's house.
 
No... tell me it gets better... my son is only 8 and can be so dramatic! He is also very strong willed... so no explaining will get through to him... *sigh* I like Robin's suggestion... ;)
 
I'm crossing my fingers it peeters out soon :P he's 11.5 now, it has to end eventually -.- maybe by the time he's 30. hahahahaha
 
We've had a LOT of changes over the past 2 years, including me going to work after being home for almost 6 years...it was tough, the kids all had tantrums and fits and lots of long stressful moments for mom, I wanted to take up serious drinking habits!! LOL

Fast forward to now, due to health issues I've been unable to work since February, I think going back now will be harder than it was the when they were smaller.

Anna sounds a lot like the boys in this thread...crys about Every.single.thing. OMG the amount of whine that girl has is unbelieveable. Grace gets SUPER mad and yells, I hear "You just don't understand me" or "What kind of mother are you" on a daily basis. Brody, he's just a quiet, boy, we haven't got to super charged emotion yet...although sometimes, I wonder where he got his scream when he's mad at the sisters.

Although NOT helpful in anyway....best of luck with the changes and hopefully things will calm down soon!!
 
All I can give is hugs and lots of patience on your part. I have a 10 yr old too but I've been working full-time since he was little. It would be a huge change for him if I suddenly stayed home lol
 
Oh, gosh, my son turns 9 in September, you guys are scaring me! I hope he doesn't get all dramatic, too.
 
Yeah, 11 year old boys. I know I could have it a lot worse...not many tears here (unless he's physically hurt) and he doesn't yell about his horrible parents (yet?), but the general whining and overreactions are getting old. I don't have any good advice for you La, sorry! I went back to work part time this year, too after being a SAHM DS's whole life. Luckily my job is during school hours and I have off when the kids do, so the only difference J was going to see was that he'd have to start taking the bus to school. Once he'd done it a few times he got over it, but let's just say I heard about it ALL last summer, LOL.
 
My son is 9.5. He has his moments, but not like has been described here. I'm hoping that doesn't start. He has enough issues as it is now. ;)

I went back to work when he (he's my youngest) started kindergarten. It has never affected my kids directly because I work the same hours they are in school, they never miss me. On the other hand, there are definitely indirect effects because I end up worn out, grumpy, and tired of dealing with kids.
 
Oh no!!! *insert hysterical face here*
I am not looking forward to when my boy is at that age!

Sorry, no help here either!
 
I started a part time job about 1 year ago. My son is 8 now. For me, I made sure that I was working when he was in school. Occasionally I take him with me if I need to attend an afternoon meeting or something. (He gets to have extra time on his Kindle when he comes with me... :) )

It was an adjustment for him to realize that Mommy had a life beyond taking care of him :blink:. What helped him was taking him with me occasionally so that he got to know my co-workers and boss. Now he has a visual of 'where Mommy is'.

I also make sure that I still spend plenty of other time with him snuggling on the couch, reading out loud to him, playing games, etc... To me this is the most important part. I see lots of kids his age that are really 'on-their-own' to entertain themselves with their friends while the parents wait to get their kids out of their hair. I totally agree that there are definitely times that parents need to do their own things (like work) we just need to remember to spend time with them too.

:hugs: and good luck with your transition. Sometimes that's the hardest until it really sinks in that -everything is still OK, and you are still there for him- :hugs:
 
I'm no help either as I've not been put in that situation to give advice. First and foremost, congratulations on getting a job!! I'm really proud of you for going to school, getting a job and supporting your family! You are a modern-day superwoman!! Secondly, no matter how hard it is to deal with our children, it's just a phase and eventually they will get over whatever is bothering them (in your case, you going back to work). Just surround him with love and support when you are home with him, assuring him he is still your #1. It's hairy now, emotionally draining, but every day will get easier and one day, you'll be through this hurdle and on to the next--maybe a girl toying with your son's emotions--who knows! Best advice, take every day as they come and shower him with the love and support that he's used to getting! <3 You've got this!!
 
It was an adjustment for him to realize that Mommy had a life beyond taking care of him
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Hah! yes, I have to remind my kids of this from time to time. "You know, mom is a person too. Just like you. I have feelings and goals" blah blah blah. Usually, it's when I'm explaining to my son why he actually has to help around the house so that I don't have to be the maid.

Anyhow, you guys have made me feel a lot better because my son (now 12) is such a drama queen (or drama king, as my daughter calls him). It's nice to know I'm not alone. And he is close to 13 and actually has gotten a lot more rational lately.

So, La, I say explain to him that you love him and will take care of him but that you are a person too and have plans and dreams and goals you want to accomplish. He will adjust!
 
Benjamin was sooooooooo dramatic around that age. Now he's 14, and he's a sarcastic, funny little punk LOL.

I agree with Kristi too! It takes awhile for the kids to understand that you aren't just mom, you are a person too. I have had to have this conversation with my kids many times. I worked a lot over the past couple of years, and the kids complained, but we were able to go to Toronto and see a concert, go to Disney World, etc. If I wasn't working, none of that would be possible, and I tell them so. They stop complaining then, because they like going places.

He will get over it, it will just take a bit of time. The first time my mom went back to work it was quite an adjustment for us all, she was a stay at home mom, and it really took awhile to get used to!
 
Every single one of my boys was an absolute emo mess between 10 - 12. The WORST age by far! Give me a terrible teen any day over the emotional mess of a pre-teen! Falling on the floor, sobbing over nothing...

I think you're just going to have to ride this one out!

All changes do take time though. He'll stop the crying and whining when he realizes it's not going to change.
 
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