introverted extrovert

Yep. I looked it up, too. And it's pretty much what Lydia said. There are times when I need other people to be refueled and find a happy place, and just as often when those same situations would make me feel overwhelmed and lethargic. I stay up at night while my family sleeps specifically for me time because I have to have it to function.

So I need both.

SeattleSheri said:
This thread prompted me to look at the definition of an extrovert.

Definition: Most people believe that an extrovert is a person who is friendly and outgoing. While that may be true, that is not the true meaning of extroversion. Basically, an extrovert is a person who is energized by being around other people. This is the opposite of an introvert who is energized by being alone.

Extroverts tend to "fade" when alone and can easily become bored without other people around. When given the chance, an extrovert will talk with someone else rather than sit alone and think. In fact, extroverts tend to think as they speak, unlike introverts who are far more likely to think before they speak. Extroverts often think best when they are talking. Concepts just don't seem real to them unless they can talk about them; reflecting on them isn't enough.

Extroverts enjoy social situations and even seek them out since they enjoy being around people. Their ability to make small talk makes them appear to be more socially adept than introverts (although introverts may have little difficulty talking to people they don't know if they can talk about concepts or issues).

Extrovert behavior seems to be the standard in American society, which means that other behavior is judged against the ways an extrovert would behave. However, extroverted behavior is simply a manifestation of the way an extrovert interacts with the world. Extroverts are interested in and concerned with the external world.
Click to expand...
 
krystalhartley said:
Yep. I looked it up, too. And it's pretty much what Lydia said. There are times when I need other people to be refueled and find a happy place, and just as often when those same situations would make me feel overwhelmed and lethargic. I stay up at night while my family sleeps specifically for me time because I have to have it to function.

So I need both.
Click to expand...

We're twins too, Krystal! :w00t:
 
krystalhartley said:
Extrovert behavior seems to be the standard in American society, which means that other behavior is judged against the ways an extrovert would behave. However, extroverted behavior is simply a manifestation of the way an extrovert interacts with the world. Extroverts are interested in and concerned with the external world.
Click to expand...

Okay... now that I stopped to read this last part, it really makes me sad. My mom is a TOTAL extravert and it constantly judging me for being more of an introvert. Constant guilt... and really bad for at least the last 20 years. :closedeyes: Now I have a tool in my tool box to tell her WHY I am okay as I am...

YAY! :thumbup:
 
ps. I need to do some journaling about this... man, this is a deep topic once you start to dig into it... the pain, the need for acceptance for who you are... ::sniff::
 
Can I just say how my life is a complete flip-flop of yours Nicole? My mom is an introvert and was constantly urging me to be OK by myself... with limited outside socialization. We rarely had guests in our home, rarely went to anyone's parties (they made her anxious), and when I was little there were only a few friends that were allowed at my house. I think it sculpted and shaped me (a natural Extrovert) into more Introverted behaviors. And I always felt GUILT for wanting to be around more people. LOL! Funny thing, now that I'm an adult I am so conflicted. The freedom to be an Extrovert (people energize me! I love being with people, old friends and lots of new people), but I honestly am more comfortable being a loner. :p
 
Nettio said:
And FYI, you can totally be a shy extrovert. Most people equate shyness and introversion but they are actually different. You can be shy around strangers but still feel energized from being around people as an extrovert. That's how I am. :)
Click to expand...

Exactly! So many people are dead wrong about what makes an introvert vs. an extrovert. People talk like being an introvert is a BAD thing. It is not a bad thing at all. It is just a matter of how you recharge your mental/emotional batteries!!


I am a VERY PROUD introvert :D It is one of the things I love about myself. It took me a long time to understand it. There is an awesome book called The Introvert Advantage that I think EVERYONE needs to read, even those extroverted people. The world needs both kinds of people to run smoothly. Extroverts are doers while Introverts are thinkers very often. Without the introverts developing the ideas the extroverts wouldn't have anything to put in to action :)

Many people are pretty close to the line one way or another. Few are on the extreme ends of the spectrum. There are so many misconceptions about introverts and so many people feel like introverts are shy and socially awkward or antisocial or hate being around people, etc. It is so not true! I always confused myself until I began to really understand how I tick. I love people. I love crowds. I love the buzz of energy that I can sense being around big groups. However, these things all leave me drained. I feel totally exhilarated at the time but later I find I have to take time to recover because I have nothing left to give. The bigger the crowd/party/event, etc. the longer my recovery time is. LOL

Now, as a kid I was shy. Painfully shy. I hated it. I was always picked on for being shy and therefore I felt like it was a bad thing. In a way it was since I always let people run over me because I hated confrontation so much. I still hate confrontation but I am much more assertive now and I don't take any crap from anyone. LOL I am not shy any more either. My husband's fault. Really, marrying someone who is super outgoing definitely helped me in the shyness department... so did having kids. I am not aggressively outgoing now but I will start conversations with people I don't know and do things that would have previously made me uncomfortable.
 
webseitler said:
Okay... now that I stopped to read this last part, it really makes me sad. My mom is a TOTAL extravert and it constantly judging me for being more of an introvert. Constant guilt... and really bad for at least the last 20 years. :closedeyes: Now I have a tool in my tool box to tell her WHY I am okay as I am...

YAY! :thumbup:
Click to expand...

A lot of my family has made me feel bad about being introverted. :( To this day there are cousins as well as my brothers who consider me stuck up because I don't interact with the family the same way they do. Truth be told, my family drains me faster than anything (my extended family, not my immediate family). I can be around them an hour and feel like it has been 12 hours. Because I don't call them all the time and gossip about everyone or go and hang out 'partying' with them then I'm stuck up. My cousins tell people I think I'm better than they are. It is so not true and I just let it go but it irritates me. The funny part is, it is only my cousins who live close to me that feel that way. I have several introverted cousins who just don't live close to me and they totally understand.
 
Lynnette I always thought I've had a lot in common with you too. Maybe you're just uber cool LOL

I'm an introvert. I do think it's seen as a negative attribute a lot of the time and sometimes I think it would be nice if I could lean more the other way but it doesn't feel natural to me. I do enjoy doing things, I like being around people under certain circumstances but I admit, it's not a natural inclination. I don't function well without alone time and I find it wearing to be around a lot of people and to have to be "on".
 
Sherri Tierney said:
A lot of my family has made me feel bad about being introverted. :( To this day there are cousins as well as my brothers who consider me stuck up because I don't interact with the family the same way they do. Truth be told, my family drains me faster than anything (my extended family, not my immediate family). I can be around them an hour and feel like it has been 12 hours. Because I don't call them all the time and gossip about everyone or go and hang out 'partying' with them then I'm stuck up. My cousins tell people I think I'm better than they are. It is so not true and I just let it go but it irritates me. The funny part is, it is only my cousins who live close to me that feel that way. I have several introverted cousins who just don't live close to me and they totally understand.
Click to expand...

My hubby's sister has been doing this too - making him feel bad for being an introvert. To be honest, his anxiety issues have made him even more introverted, and she just keeps telling him that "he's not the brother he used to be." It makes me sad for him. I do try to defend him as much as I can, but I don't want to create contention with her either.

I think sometimes people equate being an introvert (needing to be alone) with depression. I know that's what my SIL thinks. And, there may be a slight element of that in my hubby's case. But, for the most part, he has a stressful job dealing with some strong personalities. And, when he gets home from that, he seriously needs to recharge, and he does that by being alone. He definitely doesn't need to be around his sisters who are always surrounded by drama.
 
Last edited:
I was a HUGE extrovert when I was in high school, but every since I graduated I've become a major introvert. My husband actually made me get out of my PJ's the other day and made me get out of the house since it'd been so long since I'd left. What a meanie :(
 
I am an extrovert and have always been.....but I really do need time alone to recharge and I don't get that so I can get grumpy alot at home....but I really love dealing with people and maybe because I have always been in the medical field, it has always come naturally since I deal with so many different people (staff and pateitns)
 
i was just asking a silly question, i didn't mean to offend anyone with the 'introvert' or 'extrovert' label. was just a goofy, little let's get everyone thinking question. :)
 
Oh, I don't think anyone is offended at the question, sweets. It's an interesting topic.
 
emmasmommy said:
i was just asking a silly question, i didn't mean to offend anyone with the 'introvert' or 'extrovert' label. was just a goofy, little let's get everyone thinking question. :)
Click to expand...

Totally not offended here. :) Its been fun to see what people consider themselves and why.
 
It really is interesting to see how we define ourselves and more so, what the definition means to each of us.

I am an introvert, I need alone time to recharge, but I also do okay in most groups. However, I will never seek out a group of people as I don't like drama and there always seems to be some type of drama in a group situation. Those feelings may stem from my sorority days which were full of drama. Since getting out of college, I much prefer to socialize with one or two people at a time. My son says I am antisocial, but what does he know. :D
 
emmasmommy said:
i was just asking a silly question, i didn't mean to offend anyone with the 'introvert' or 'extrovert' label. was just a goofy, little let's get everyone thinking question. :)
Click to expand...

Dude. Now I'm offended. :p

(I didn't think that anyone was offended... I just know that I was surprised how deep this "silly question" was for me.)
 
I totally don't think you offended anybody, I think this has been a great thread :) I love reading about everybody :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2026 XenForo Ltd.
Back
Top