Capturing the Moment vs. Living in it

karlimarie

karlimarie

Sweet Shoppe SugarBabe
Do you find it challenging to live in the moment while also documenting it? When does memory keeping enhance a moment—and when does it get in the way? How do you find the balance?
 
Such a great question... I think I've always had the attitude of be present in the moment and worry about telling the story later. If the photos aren't perfect or you missed the shot, you can always fill in the blanks when you scrapbook. Making the memories is the most important part for me.
 
Tough to balance for sure. I've started to have that 'countdown' in my head of my kids are not going to be here (as in living in my home 24/7) so I've tried hard to be IN the moments & worry less about capturing them in photographs. Also- with older kiddos- our moments are just different. Some of my favoriet memories lately are just hanging out in their rooms talking or car rides to sports events & such. It seems like we are doing less "big memory type of things" but trying to squeeze in quality time where ever we can find it.
 
I've definitely noticed a shift in the past few years from having my DSLR to just capturing moments with my cell phone. Those are often the most special ones (like the Christmas tree when my kid is up too freaking early or, even worse, way too freaking late). I've tried to make sure that there are photos of things I want to scrap - like the menorah each night - but not take a million photos and not get to actually light the candles myself.

It's a struggle to balance, especially because I still kick myself for photos I didn't take that I wish I had to scrap with now. But I also don't really have many "I wish I had put the camera down to just be there" moments. I'm trying to learn how to do photoless pages or use photos taken around that time and just roll with it.

I still need to work on being *in* more photos though. It doesn't help that my mini me tells me how to compose the shot for him, therefore ensuring that I am not in the shot ;)
 
I have only moved away from taking ALL.THE.PHOTOS in the past couple of years. It's difficult to focus on being with family and taking photos when I'm hurting physically, and it was even harder when I was grieving the loss of my mother.

For Christmas 2024, on Christmas Day, I took a photo of the table, the food, but didn't take any of the presents and stockings being opened. I just was there. I regret it a little bit now, but it's just what it was. I had already taken lots of photos for Christmas Eve and knew i would take photos for Christmas dinner. I documented plenty.

As my children have moved into adulthood, the amount and types of photos I take are much different, but I still make sure to capture little moments as they happen (it's so easy to grab the cell phone and snap a pic).

I shared this on Facebook recently. I think I will forever be the taker of photos, but those photos are accompanied by storytelling. I do love to make art and use it as therapy, but as I have navigated the past five years (ages 50-55), I have found that my pages tend to have more and more journaling on them.

I am the taker of the photos.
I am the receiver of the groans, the eye-rolls and the hurry ups.
I am the one who disrupts the ‘moments,’ to capture them.
And sometimes it’s hard to be that person.
But I am also the holder of the memories.
I am the one who keeps the precious proof.
I am the bearer of the stories, the maker of the scrapbooks that bring tears, laughter and love rushing into the room each time they are opened.
And if you are too, please know you are capturing this life, as it happens.
You are capturing stages, ages, twists, turns and last moments no one could have foreseen.
And generations to come will thank you for it, even if no one does right now.
The eye-rolls will be replaced one day with absolute all-consuming gratitude, for the image of a smiling face so missed and a memory returned home to stay.
Keep disrupting life to capture it my friends, when it’s all that is left, someone somewhere will be so very glad you did.
-Donna Ashworth
 
In general, I agree with Robin on this, though I do still make effort to take the photos if I could.
Having kids 8 years apart & with how big the gap of their school loads are, making me take more photos of my daughter more than my son. But I try to get photos of him when I can.
The one that I don't take photos enough is actually my husband (and I)... so that's a homework for me. I want the kids to look back and see those pages I scrapped (and hopefully print one day!) and see how much we, their parents, try to be present in their lives.

For me to find the balance, I just settle with taking photos with my phone. No more big cameras here... because it's quicker and easier. But even so, there are times I put down my phone, because I really want to present for the moment.
 
Cheryl Ashcraft said:
I have only moved away from taking ALL.THE.PHOTOS in the past couple of years. It's difficult to focus on being with family and taking photos when I'm hurting physically, and it was even harder when I was grieving the loss of my mother.

For Christmas 2024, on Christmas Day, I took a photo of the table, the food, but didn't take any of the presents and stockings being opened. I just was there. I regret it a little bit now, but it's just what it was. I had already taken lots of photos for Christmas Eve and knew i would take photos for Christmas dinner. I documented plenty.

As my children have moved into adulthood, the amount and types of photos I take are much different, but I still make sure to capture little moments as they happen (it's so easy to grab the cell phone and snap a pic).

I shared this on Facebook recently. I think I will forever be the taker of photos, but those photos are accompanied by storytelling. I do love to make art and use it as therapy, but as I have navigated the past five years (ages 50-55), I have found that my pages tend to have more and more journaling on them.

I am the taker of the photos.
I am the receiver of the groans, the eye-rolls and the hurry ups.
I am the one who disrupts the ‘moments,’ to capture them.
And sometimes it’s hard to be that person.
But I am also the holder of the memories.
I am the one who keeps the precious proof.
I am the bearer of the stories, the maker of the scrapbooks that bring tears, laughter and love rushing into the room each time they are opened.
And if you are too, please know you are capturing this life, as it happens.
You are capturing stages, ages, twists, turns and last moments no one could have foreseen.
And generations to come will thank you for it, even if no one does right now.
The eye-rolls will be replaced one day with absolute all-consuming gratitude, for the image of a smiling face so missed and a memory returned home to stay.
Keep disrupting life to capture it my friends, when it’s all that is left, someone somewhere will be so very glad you did.
-Donna Ashworth
Click to expand...

Well said my friend! Well said!
 
I love this, Cheryl!!!


Cheryl Ashcraft said:
I have only moved away from taking ALL.THE.PHOTOS in the past couple of years. It's difficult to focus on being with family and taking photos when I'm hurting physically, and it was even harder when I was grieving the loss of my mother.

For Christmas 2024, on Christmas Day, I took a photo of the table, the food, but didn't take any of the presents and stockings being opened. I just was there. I regret it a little bit now, but it's just what it was. I had already taken lots of photos for Christmas Eve and knew i would take photos for Christmas dinner. I documented plenty.

As my children have moved into adulthood, the amount and types of photos I take are much different, but I still make sure to capture little moments as they happen (it's so easy to grab the cell phone and snap a pic).

I shared this on Facebook recently. I think I will forever be the taker of photos, but those photos are accompanied by storytelling. I do love to make art and use it as therapy, but as I have navigated the past five years (ages 50-55), I have found that my pages tend to have more and more journaling on them.

I am the taker of the photos.
I am the receiver of the groans, the eye-rolls and the hurry ups.
I am the one who disrupts the ‘moments,’ to capture them.
And sometimes it’s hard to be that person.
But I am also the holder of the memories.
I am the one who keeps the precious proof.
I am the bearer of the stories, the maker of the scrapbooks that bring tears, laughter and love rushing into the room each time they are opened.
And if you are too, please know you are capturing this life, as it happens.
You are capturing stages, ages, twists, turns and last moments no one could have foreseen.
And generations to come will thank you for it, even if no one does right now.
The eye-rolls will be replaced one day with absolute all-consuming gratitude, for the image of a smiling face so missed and a memory returned home to stay.
Keep disrupting life to capture it my friends, when it’s all that is left, someone somewhere will be so very glad you did.
-Donna Ashworth
Click to expand...
 
Brendazzle said:
I still need to work on being *in* more photos though. It doesn't help that my mini me tells me how to compose the shot for him, therefore ensuring that I am not in the shot ;)
Click to expand...

An idea I heard recently from Elif Sahin on how she gets in the photo: Take a photo of the camera person the way you want it composed, and then they can see the photo, and know what you want.

So, have your mini me compose you in the shot and show the vision, taking the photo of you. Then, you can say "Oh, I see!" and take their photo using the one with you as a template.
 
There are many occasions I didn't take many/any photos due to the busyness of the day - birthdays and Christmases for example. I am sad when I look back at the missing photos but, on the other hand, it was more important to be totally in the moment for the kids to be able to see me being involved in what was happening, my reaction to opening presents, etc.

I can't take good photos myself anymore, I haven't been able to for a few years now, as my tremors make all my photos blurry. The ones I do take are few and far between and I have to steady the phone on a solid surface; even then my hand holding it shakes.

I hate this as I have to rely on my daughters to take photos and send them to me. On the other hand, I am totally more in the moment than spending so much time thinking about getting the pictures.

I'm sort of reverting to how I have to scrapbook my earlier memories as my family didn't have their own camera until I was, say, about 8 or 9 - the very few photos of my childhood were taken by other people. I use photos from the internet if I can find relevant ones, but that is why so many of my pages have smaller photos and rely on the journaling to tell the story.
 
fruitysuet said:
I use photos from the internet if I can find relevant ones, but that is why so many of my pages have smaller photos and rely on the journaling to tell the story.
Click to expand...

When I was a child, my mom had a "box" camera. I have fond memories of her lining my sisters and I up to take photos with it. A few years ago I was given her camera (she died in 1983) and was Googling info about the camera.

In my search I found a photo of a young women with a box camera. The photo immediately reminded me of my mom, so I downloaded the photo and scrapped it with photos she'd taken of me and my sisters, and photos I'd taken of her box camera.

In my journaling I do note that the photo is not of my mom, although the gal in the photo closely resembles her.
 
Cell phones have changed the way I capture the moments. It's so easy now to just snap a pic rather than fumble with the big camera. Like Christmas morning, I can take a photo, throw the phone on the floor, give someone a hug, pic it back up and continue taking photos while still being present. Also, I like to turn off the click sound so it is even less disruptive.
 
This is a great question, Karli! I was just thinking about this the other day as I was scanning photos.

I don't feel the two are mutually exclusive. I think we can be in the moment and capturing it. Especially with cell phones. It's so easy and unobtrusive to snap a quick picture. It's okay if it's not perfectly composed, or even if it's blurry. The memory of the moment is captured. That's what matters.

As I've gone through photos, I noticed that there are missing moments, probably in most part because I was afraid to take the photo because of the backlash I would get to "be in the moment". That makes me sad.

Being in a different stage of life - where the kids are all out of the house now - the photos & memories are SO important to me and I love being able to look back on them.

The other thing is that I SO wish that I had more photos with me in them. I take the pictures and there are a lot of times when I'm not in the pictures. I wish I had made it more important for someone else (hubby?) to capture me in photos.

Cheryl, I saw your post on FB and it really resonated!!
 
bestcee said:
An idea I heard recently from Elif Sahin on how she gets in the photo: Take a photo of the camera person the way you want it composed, and then they can see the photo, and know what you want.

So, have your mini me compose you in the shot and show the vision, taking the photo of you. Then, you can say "Oh, I see!" and take their photo using the one with you as a template.
Click to expand...

If you can get my uncooperative 8 year old to let me be in photos with him, I accept. I have a lot of terrible low-light selfies of us together at 3 am for the never-ending "please just go to sleep..." pages though ;)

My mom and husband have started actually offering to take photos of me now after realizing I was absent in so many layouts
 
Oh, Karli! I thought about your question after I got home last night. Our two daughters took me out for my birthday. First we went to a show called "The Jury" where you are part of the jury of a trial they are acting out on stage. You get to vote on your phone about various things throughout the trial. I took a few photos of "the trial" and some of the interesting architectural features of the building! :). ha!ha! We then went to an awesome restaurant attached to the old Nashville Union Train station. I got home and realized that I didn't get ANY photos of me with my sweet girls! We were just having a fun time!! I do, however, have some photos of their unique ceiling tiles and light fixtures! Ha!Ha! :)
 
Cheryl Ashcraft said:
I have only moved away from taking ALL.THE.PHOTOS in the past couple of years. It's difficult to focus on being with family and taking photos when I'm hurting physically, and it was even harder when I was grieving the loss of my mother.

For Christmas 2024, on Christmas Day, I took a photo of the table, the food, but didn't take any of the presents and stockings being opened. I just was there. I regret it a little bit now, but it's just what it was. I had already taken lots of photos for Christmas Eve and knew i would take photos for Christmas dinner. I documented plenty.

As my children have moved into adulthood, the amount and types of photos I take are much different, but I still make sure to capture little moments as they happen (it's so easy to grab the cell phone and snap a pic).

I shared this on Facebook recently. I think I will forever be the taker of photos, but those photos are accompanied by storytelling. I do love to make art and use it as therapy, but as I have navigated the past five years (ages 50-55), I have found that my pages tend to have more and more journaling on them.

I am the taker of the photos.
I am the receiver of the groans, the eye-rolls and the hurry ups.
I am the one who disrupts the ‘moments,’ to capture them.
And sometimes it’s hard to be that person.
But I am also the holder of the memories.
I am the one who keeps the precious proof.
I am the bearer of the stories, the maker of the scrapbooks that bring tears, laughter and love rushing into the room each time they are opened.
And if you are too, please know you are capturing this life, as it happens.
You are capturing stages, ages, twists, turns and last moments no one could have foreseen.
And generations to come will thank you for it, even if no one does right now.
The eye-rolls will be replaced one day with absolute all-consuming gratitude, for the image of a smiling face so missed and a memory returned home to stay.
Keep disrupting life to capture it my friends, when it’s all that is left, someone somewhere will be so very glad you did.
-Donna Ashworth
Click to expand...


Wow.
That quote is perfect. I may need to save that.

I have always been the family memory saver. I started with my first camera at 9 years old (it was a Kodak disc camera and I loved it!!) As I now usually use my cell phone instead of my big dslr, its easier to be in the moment and still capture the moment to be saved.

Oh how the kids would moan and fuss and call me paparazzi and then mamarazzi.... but just recently, my nephew who used to give me such a hard time, he would always stuck his tongue out or made face (I said to him one day you will regret that in every photo you are doing that), he just came to me when i was taking pics and said he wished he didn't do that in every single photo...lol
 
I am ALWAYS the one taking the photos. And although they may find me annoying, I will continue to take them!

I was gifted an older DSLR camera, but it doesn't take great indoor photos without the flash, and my small point-and-shoot that I have had forever is really on its last leg. I took a lot of photos on my phone last Christmas, only to realize they didn't come out so great once they were on the computer.
So, I will struggle with using my point and shoot camera despite having to maybe ask someone to pose a little longer, because I am literally the only one who takes the photos.

For our last family picnic this summer, I thought, today, I'm just going to eat the food, play the games, chat with everyone and NOT take run around taking photos of everything, and so now there are NO photos of that picnic which makes me sad. If I don't take them, no one will, and so since it is just too devasting to me to not have the pictures, I will keep taking them! I don't really have many of myself and other family members growing up, because no one took them! And yes, I need to try to get in the photo myself more, I just don't want to live with the regret of not having any...
 
Taking photos is part of my enjoyment of the event. People expect it of me at this point, and they know I will share the photos, too. Looking through my photos from an event or thing is something I really enjoy, and if I don't have any photos, I am sad about it forever. I don't think that being present and taking photos have to be mutually exclusive.
 
I used to worry about this... but if I didn't focus on the documenting, we probably wouldn't have some of the memories, lol. If I didn't take the photos - no one in my family would have photos of anything. Also, in todays world where we all have thousands of photos on our phones, and very few of humans do anything with them... documenting is even more important to me. I'm more of a historian for future generations.

I have been scrapbooking for over 20 years, being present and documenting goes hand in hand for me. Though the last few years I have been drifting away from photoing everything because honestly, how many photos do you need of a certain topic if you do it yearly, a tradition. Also, my memory isn't as great as it used to be. In the past I used photos to jog my memory about "the moment", now I'm like, why did I take this photo for? lol.

Now that my son is graduate and off to college, I feel like the documenting part is all I have. My day to day life isn't as exciting. But when I'm will kiddo, listening to him play his viola for college, I take a few photos and then put my camera away.
 
This is perfect Cheryl.

I'm taking less photos these days too, my youngest is 13 now, but I think it's about maybe getting photos of different things, if the kids don't want their picture taken to remember the story.

I'm trying to remember that.


Cheryl Ashcraft said:
I have only moved away from taking ALL.THE.PHOTOS in the past couple of years. It's difficult to focus on being with family and taking photos when I'm hurting physically, and it was even harder when I was grieving the loss of my mother.

For Christmas 2024, on Christmas Day, I took a photo of the table, the food, but didn't take any of the presents and stockings being opened. I just was there. I regret it a little bit now, but it's just what it was. I had already taken lots of photos for Christmas Eve and knew i would take photos for Christmas dinner. I documented plenty.

As my children have moved into adulthood, the amount and types of photos I take are much different, but I still make sure to capture little moments as they happen (it's so easy to grab the cell phone and snap a pic).

I shared this on Facebook recently. I think I will forever be the taker of photos, but those photos are accompanied by storytelling. I do love to make art and use it as therapy, but as I have navigated the past five years (ages 50-55), I have found that my pages tend to have more and more journaling on them.

I am the taker of the photos.
I am the receiver of the groans, the eye-rolls and the hurry ups.
I am the one who disrupts the ‘moments,’ to capture them.
And sometimes it’s hard to be that person.
But I am also the holder of the memories.
I am the one who keeps the precious proof.
I am the bearer of the stories, the maker of the scrapbooks that bring tears, laughter and love rushing into the room each time they are opened.
And if you are too, please know you are capturing this life, as it happens.
You are capturing stages, ages, twists, turns and last moments no one could have foreseen.
And generations to come will thank you for it, even if no one does right now.
The eye-rolls will be replaced one day with absolute all-consuming gratitude, for the image of a smiling face so missed and a memory returned home to stay.
Keep disrupting life to capture it my friends, when it’s all that is left, someone somewhere will be so very glad you did.
-Donna Ashworth
Click to expand...
 
MamaBee said:
I have been scrapbooking for over 20 years, being present and documenting goes hand in hand for me. Though the last few years I have been drifting away from photoing everything because honestly, how many photos do you need of a certain topic if you do it yearly, a tradition.
Click to expand...

I'm so right here with your Reba! I started digi when Keira was 15 months old, she's almost 21 now. So instead of 20 pictures of everyone decorating gingerbread houses this year, we just get a picture of the finished houses. And that's ok! LOL!
 
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