baby shower question/s

J

jessica31876

New member
I was reading online about who should throw the shower for my daughter and according to ettiquette it says neither mother nor mother-in-law should do it and defenitely not the expectant mother. Well her mother-in-law and I had planned on doing it which seems to me to kinda be the norm nowadays. I think those ettiquette rules are a little out of date but do not think mom-to-be should be so involved. Frankly my daughter and I have totally different ideas and she is driving me a little crazy LOL. So I was wondering some things....

Did you have a baby shower?
Who planned the shower if you did have one?
Who was invited? (I.E. close family, co-workers, friends, close friends of the grandparents?)
Was there a party "theme"? (My daughter wants jungle but every jungle theme i have shown her she dooes not like)

So any info is appreciated. I see it being a little more complicated with three people involved though and I keep telling my daughter baby showers are for the mom & baby. She does need to do anything but sit back and enjoy being the center of attention and being so spoiled for one day since once the baby gets here the baby will be the one getting spoiled then LOL but she is not listening so well
 
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Ettiquette does that, but I agree, its a bit dated in that regard. My mom threw my shower and I did most of the planning of it which was only family (my family lives on the other end of the state as me). I had another small one thrown by some co-workers that I had no part in planning. Our theme was blue since I was having a boy. Everything was blue. It was a lot of fun. As for advice, its her shower, it will mean a lot to her, do whatever she wants within reason, even if its not what you want.
 
Oh how I hate showers... hahaha!!! I don't throw them, and I don't go to them... :p

But to answer your question... I had two - one actually went on and the other was canceled. The first one was thrown by my mom's best friend and it was kind of my "mom's" side... but I have such a small family - mom and aunt were the only family (my hubby's step mom and sister didn't come - I don't think baby showers is a big thing in Russia so they didn't get it, thus didn't want to come)... the rest were my mom's friends. The second one was scheduled for the day that happened to be the day after J was born... he was 3 weeks early... and that was being thrown by my two besties and it would have been my friends, majority of them from work.

No theme for mine... and very little in games. I did nothing but attend.
 
No one has ever let me plan a shower for myself aside from the guest list and the date/time had to be approved by me. My bridal and first baby shower were themed, and I wasn't involved in the theme. My 2nd baby shower wasn't themed.

My friends knew me well enough not to do too many silly games.

I felt just as special at the shower without the theme, even though I really didn't know anyone. I moved cross the country, and some ladies from church wanted to throw a shower for me. I got to meet a ton of nice ladies, and it was amazing.

My other baby shower was a bunch of close friends, and my mom and sister and sister in laws were invited. I lives in a different city than my mom, and a different state then my mother in law, so it didn't make sense for either of them to throw one.

I know nothing of etiquette, but that's how it was for me. I also didn't have a shower for my 2nd baby, even though she was he opposite gender. She totally sleeps with blue blankets all the time. Lol

Oh, I also forgot that Some ladies from DH's work through us a little shower during a lunch break. Originally it was going to be a surprise for him, but I was induced early so they had to reschedule and thought the addition of having me and the baby there would be perfect.
 
My mom and a few of my friends threw mine. I stayed out of it as much as possible so I would be surprised with all their hard work.

They invited friends and family from both sides (my co-workers did a 2nd one at work so they weren't invited to this).

The theme was starry since the nursery was a stars theme...but not super themey altogether.
 
Did you have a baby shower? Yes for both my boys
Who planned the shower if you did have one? My sister and mother both times
Who was invited? (I.E. close family, co-workers, friends, close friends of the grandparents?) family and friends
Was there a party "theme"? (My daughter wants jungle but every jungle theme i have shown her she dooes not like) Yes, woodland creatures and the other was space ships!
 
I wanted to add the layout I did for the woodland one.
Baby_Shower_Lucien_pg1_preview.jpg


Baby_Shower_Lucien_pg2_preview.jpg
 
With my first my co-workers threw a shower and hub's co-workers threw a shower plus my MIL threw us a couples shower. We had just gotten married earlier that year and were in the middle of buying our first house so it was such a blessing!

I didn't have to do anything for the showers other than register and provide some addresses for my MIL. I don't remember having a theme, but this was 14 years ago so maybe there wasn't a whole lot of themed stuff? Things seem a lot more themey now!

For my second a group of my friends got together and threw me a shower and invited my mom, MIL and family that lived close by. It was a really nice party at my friend's house. She had each person bring something including the moms. The hostess got the cake and provided the house. It was a really fun (we played a few games) and the food was fabulous because each person brought their best dish.

What I liked best as a mom was not having to do anything but come to the party. Also, we had someone at the party make a list of what we received so it was easy to send thank yous. We played fun games - everyone got a name tag that was a diaper. Two diapers had a little surprise inside (a raisin). The hostess would say she could smell something a little stinky and we all had to check our diapers. LOL! OMG...it was hilarious to see my husband's 80 yo aunt pull a raisin out of her diaper.

I think that you have to throw some of the older rules out the window here. It's fine for MIL and Mom of the mom-to-be to throw the shower as long as you both get a long. The whole point of a shower is to celebrate the mom-to-be and to shower her with gifts for her little one. By playing a few games people have something to do (and a chance to win) while the mom-to-be is opening her gifts (which is what you are there for). Theme and good food make the event better, but I think that is one area where whatever you want to do will be just fine. Just keep the focus on the mom and baby.

If you are looking for shower ideas I'm sure you can find a million on Pinterest! Colors that match what the baby's room or theme are going to be would be nice to so that if you do make decorations maybe they could be used in the baby's room.
 
Im ok with her being involved in the planning because quite honestly her mother in law kinda took over her wedding & reception. The car accident happened the day she had gotten the invitations in. So that was pretty much as far as she got with the planning for her wedding & reception. So I think this is kinda making up for some of the stuff she missed out on.

The problem is I am responsible for alot of decorations so if she wants a theme i wish she would choose one way or the other. We had decided to focus on zebra print and giraffe print but just as i was about to get started she said hold off for a few days until we have lunch with her MIL.
 
I had two baby showers. One for each of my kids.

My son's baby shower: My co-worker and mom planned it. I didn't choose a theme (I honestly never even thought of picking a theme, I assumed the "theme" was... um... BABY BOY). My involvement was basically helping to choose an invitation and giving them a list of who I wanted to invite. They invited close family who lived within 3 hours of here, my close co-workers, friends, and a few close friends of the family. The party had 3 fun games, they ordered a delicious cake from the lady who made my wedding cake, there were some blue balloons all over the place, and a few co-workers brought their favorite appetizer or a fruit/veggie tray. My co-worker/friend and mom made the main dishes. The food was amazing. :)

My daughter's baby shower: My best friend and mom planned it. There wasn't a theme, really. It was just Sundaes on Sunday, 2 pm. I guess ice cream was the theme. :) This time I didn't even put together an invite list or pick the invitation, they did it all. I did say that I wanted this shower to be smaller, more intimate and shorter than my first shower. It was planned to be a meet & greet shower 3 weeks after she was born (I had a scheduled c/s so that made it easy to plan). There was no cake and only a few decorations. They set up a giant array of toppings and ice cream and a friend made homemade waffle bowls... we all made our own ice cream sundaes and chatted. No games. Just ice cream, talking, then a few presents... and it was over. :) Party favors were adorable ceramic faux waffle cone ice cream bowls filled with a tulle bag gathered around some chocolate kisses.
 
My mom planned mine. We had thought that Jordan's side of the family would do one too, but apparently they don't believe in them (not even my MIL knew that, she couldn't remember if she got one or not).
I was only involved in picking the date so we knew when to be in NY since we don't live there, lol. I gave my mom whatever addresses she needed, and that was that. The shower was 80% relatives, with some family friends as well. I had other friends invited as well, but since it's a long trip for all them no one came. (And one of them who was also pregnant ended up throwing me another small shower so a bunch of us could get together and celebrate.)
There wasn't a real huge theme since we didn't know the sex, but my mom knows how much I love monkey's and sock monkey's so that was the loose theme. The colors were the color of the nursery.

Really, as far as etiquette goes, the only major no-no is that your daughter not host and plan the entire thing herself. To be honest I don't understand who is supposed to throw the shower if not the grandma's-to-be. If she's really set on there being a theme, then try and work with it.

ETA: I HATE games at showers (any shower), so my mom knew not to do that. The shower was at a restaurant so I just wandered around and got to talk to a lot of people that we don't get to see very often. That's the kind of thing that I prefer though. I don't even participate when I go to showers that have games, LOL! I'm perfectly content to sit and watch the mom/bride open presents while I drink or eat or chat quietly with friends/family.
 
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Mine also didn't have games. I hate them, too. I am too introverted to get a kick out of silly games that are meant to embaress. We had a manicurist come in and do people's nails and a lady come in and do Reiki treatments. Then we just ate and talked. It was great.
 
I had two showers, one for my side of the family and one for my hubbies side of the family.

Did you have a baby shower? Yes for my first baby only. I did have a spa party for ME with my third baby but it was kind of a day to pamper me and a few girls from work throw that one for me.

Who planned the shower if you did have one? My sister and aunts on my side planned that party and my hubby's aunt and her DD planned the one for his side.

Who was invited? (I.E. close family, co-workers, friends, close friends of the grandparents?) Family, my friends and close friends of the grandmothers

Was there a party "theme"? the one for my side of the family was....it was Noah's Ark. What my nursery was decorated in one.
 
Did you have a baby shower?

Yes, with my first.

Who planned the shower if you did have one?

A friend.

Who was invited? (I.E. close family, co-workers, friends, close friends of the grandparents?)

My mom and grandmas flew in...other than that, friends.

Was there a party "theme"? (My daughter wants jungle but every jungle theme i have shown her she dooes not like)

Sailboats.

I'm old school, I think showers should be thrown by friends or at least aunties... I picked the theme and the date. My friend did the rest.
 
Did you have a baby shower? yes it was 6 days before i had my son.
Who planned the shower if you did have one? my ex's side of the family planned it (they did it for other reasons then just for me.) my mom wanted to plan it but something happened and she couldn't.
Who was invited? (I.E. close family, co-workers, friends, close friends of the grandparents?) it was mostly his family and friends i had my two sisters and mom there.
Was there a party "theme"? (My daughter wants jungle but every jungle theme i have shown her she dooes not like) no theme at all.
 
I had 3 baby showers.
First - my BFF planned with our HS and College friends. No family was invited. This one had no theme other than "boy" stuff.

Second - was given by a family friend for all my parents friends, local family and in laws. This one was jungle theme to match his nursery. It was my favorite and so nicely done. (they used animal print paper goods and had stuffed jungle animals decorating the cake table and gift table. The stuffed animals were part of their gift for Landon to go in his nursery)

Third - given by my aunt and grandma (at my grandma's house out of state) for all my out of state family (there is a bunch of them!). This one really didn't have a theme. I think they just used the colors brown and light blue together.

ETA: We didn't do games at any of ours. It was more of a mix and mingle type thing. I loved it that way. I wasn't involved in any of the planning other than giving a guest list of friends I wanted to invite. I also provided addresses to those they didn't know (like the in laws).
 
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Another question I forgot to mention if you got RSVP card with a phone number/email address would you be offended? My daughter was moving and did not know what to do with RSVP cards so I suggested using her email address siince it was defenitely not going to be changing and her father-in-laws family thought that was so tacky and rude. She couldnt have it send via mail becuse she was moving and was not sure where to and because her grandparents were paying her phone service she did not know how long they would hafe that. Most people said is made it so much easier because they didnt have to worry about it being received and my daiughter kept track on a spead sheet so as she got an email she added everhtning rignt away. I figured for a very relaxed wedding that would not be looked down on. I mean they were not going to the royals wedding LOL@@
 
I had two showers with my son - a small one thrown by my coworkers which was a total surprise and quite lovely. No theme just a luncheon, a few games, gifts and cake. I was incredibly touched. The second one was all family and friends and while my sister and mother were technically the hosts I did most of the work as that tends to be our family dynamic and I throw a mean shower. For a number of years I was queen of the showers until I finally got fed up with it and retired my crown. Lol
 
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