RQOTD - Christmas shopping for you kids - how equal is it?

[julifish]

I've been reading a lot of remarks on Facebook about people starting their holiday shopping. I'm always curious how other people do things so I have to ask. At your house who does the shopping for the kids? You, your husband, both of you?

Also, do you make sure your kids have exactly the same number of presents under the tree and in their stockings? Or do you just spend the same amount of money on your kids? Or do you do something different entirely.

We set a budget for gift giving at the holidays and generally I go out and buy all the gifts. (I do consult my husband on the gifts we give our daughters and his parents.) I spend equal amounts on my kids, but I don't buy equal amount of presents. If one kid wants something that is 75% of their budget then they get that and whatever smaller things fit in the budget.

I'm just curious how other people do it at their houses.

[mariewilcox]

Well, since it's just me I do the shopping and don't consult with anyone else

And since DS is grown with his own family, I don't spend the same on my kids anymore and never really did anyway since they were 13 years apart and by the time Cheyanne came along he was 13 so his gifts were usually of greater cost so he would get one big thing and a few necessities and she would get a few things appropriate for age. By the time she was 5 he was out of the house and in the Marines so then I was just buying for her. The whole "You spent more on him than me!" thing was never an issue because of the age difference.

Now I buy he and his wife a family gift - usually something they need around the house and I buy a few things for each grandchild. I do try to spend the same amount on each grandchild though - they're only 4 years old and 4 months old so they won't have any idea how much the other is getting.

[carriesmom]

I do the shopping. It is just something I like to do but I talk with DH about what I am looking to buy. The past years, my girls have gotten very similar items at a similar price points. But this year, we are going with same number of gifts and it may differ a bit with price point.

[SweetMelissa]

I mostly do the shopping. Their dad does give some input on what he's seen or thinks they'd like but ultimately it comes down to me. I try to stay within the same budget for each kid. They each get one big present and then some smaller ones, the number of presents usually is close to what the others got but not always exact. Rachel is special needs and we always try to get her a present that will help with her development, her doctors want us to strengthen up her legs so we are going to get her a trampoline but since all of the kids can use it we're not counting it as one of her gifts.

[maryinaz]

We both do the shopping and I keep track of how much is spent per kid. We try to keep the dollar amount even. However, that doesn't always work and the boys have never complained about not getting as much as their brothers. As long as they get what is on their list, they are happy.

I'm trying not to be a grinch this year, but the amount of money spent at Christmas always gets me down.

[glumirk]

It's always hard for me to figure out how much I've spent because I make a lot of cheap little gifts for the kids. My mom spends more on our kids at Christmas than we do (with a good list from me), so we choose what we want credit for and the Santa gifts, and that's all we buy. I do try to wrap similar numbers of presents because the kids are small and we try to unwrap in order.

[farrijc]

I do all the shopping. I will ask DH's opinion on some things, definitely not everything. My kids are still fairly young, so I like to get the same number of gifts for each. I don't spend the same amount of money on each, but I do try to keep it in the same ballpark.

[YepBrook]

We have a budget and I try to make sure each child gets approx. the same amount of gifts. We open presents where everyone takes turn opening a gift, and I like things to be even... I know we will not be able to do this for much longer since Ben's gifts are getting more and more expensive.

I usually pick up a few gifts for each kiddo and all the stocking stuffers by myself. Then DH and I go out Christmas shopping together (on a date night) and purchase all the rest.

[adi&co.]

I'm a crazy OCD planner with things like this, so I don't really consult anyone, lol! My hubby just pays for the presents, heehee! I plan and budget all year long for christmas though so it doesn't really make a difference in our monthly dynamic for oct/nov/dec.

We try to spend an equal amount on the kids but this year it's really lopsided. the boys are getting the third installment of the skylanders game and all the characters while my 18 month old isn't getting nearly as much dollar wise. she won't notice though and will love what she's getting so that's all that matters. if they were older, i would make sure to spend teh same dollar amount.

[LeeAndra]

SS11 is not with us on Christmas morning and gets a lot of presents/things we can't afford from his mom & his maternal grandparents, so we don't worry abt matching/equal presents with DD4. Since we know he will get a big thing (usually some kind of electronics or a gaming system) from his mom, we usually focus on getting him some little things as he loves to have lots of things to open, but doesn't really care what's inside them. Hubby does 'take charge' of this area since SS is just his kid and now at an age where he likes things that are out of my realm of expertise.

DD gets one big thing from Santa, a few smaller things from us, and a stocking. There is not really a set budget as much as I have a few things in mind, and once I buy them, we're done. My parents (mom) go completely overboard at Christmas for the grandkids, so I know that she will get more than enough presents from them. This year, we'll be celebrating with my family before Christmas, so I'm sure she will not even know which presents came from whom. I'm actually not sure what I will get DD for her big Santa present as my mom has already commandeered the couple of big-ticket items she has requested.

[Lelly]

I try my very best to make sure I've spent the same on all 3 of my kiddos. It's proving to be REALLY difficult this year though as I like them to have roughly the same number of gifts too (sometimes I wish I didn't get ocd'ish about that, but I do and it makes things so much more difficult lol!) so they're probably going to get around the same. It sucks though, as they get older their gift pile looks like nothing, compared to the younger ones and then I feel bad!

[Stacey42]

DH & I discuss the budget vs the boys' wish lists and sort out more or less what we will get them, but the actual tracking down of items, comparison pricing and purchasing is nearly all on me. I just have more time available to give to it than he does.

We try to keep the cost & number of gifts even but number of gifts trumps costs unless it's something we've said up front to one of them who asked for something pricy "You know, if you get that you might only get one other thing as well." So they are prepared for their sibling to get 5 $20 items while the get 1 $80 and one $20 item.

But we've found a way to offset that as well. They like to open lots of gifts so we've been known to wrap up individual pairs of socks or put 5 football cards in a box or break apart lego sets to give them lots of presents and we just put fewer things in the boxes of one of them or more things in the boxes of the other so they have an equal number of boxes.

[Jenn Barrette]

We try to aim for the same number of presents instead of dollar amount.

[nesser1981]

I do the same dollar amount, but I also try to make sure they have the same amount to open, so if one has 2 or 3 things more, I'll wrap a couple things together.

[Libby Pritchett]

For our older kids (15 and 16), we keep to the same dollar amount. The number of gifts is usually pretty different as my daughter likes to give a list full of lots of little things while we tend to give Jeff's son one or two larger things.

For Chloe, since she's 14 years younger and we are the only parents buying for her, I don't even keep track of what we spend in relation to the other kids. We get her what we want, and it may be more or less than what we get the older kids.

[NatalieKW]

Since my girls are 4, 2 and 2, I make sure they all have the same amount of presents. We try and take turns opening our presents, so I want them to have equal amount of presents to open. We also try and keep the costs similar too. It isn't always possible, but we try. We always have a budget and I actually try and make a large percentage of their presents to make that budget stretch as much as possible. Oh, and my husband and I both decide what to get everyone. We do, however, buy most stuff online cause we don't like to shop much...but I wish we went to the store and shopped the sales more. If we did, I'd be the one to go out to the store unless we did it on a date night. That would be preferable.

[SarahMD]

Originally Posted by maryinaz

We both do the shopping and I keep track of how much is spent per kid. We try to keep the dollar amount even. However, that doesn't always work and the boys have never complained about not getting as much as their brothers. As long as they get what is on their list, they are happy.

I'm trying not to be a grinch this year, but the amount of money spent at Christmas always gets me down.

Last year was very one sided, I was 4 months OFFICIALLY separated from my husband (unofficially for a year)...and I bought for my kids and so did my dad (given my hardship). My boyfriend has 3 girls of his own and he gave them a budget and just took them shopping since their mom had them for that whole holiday week. Last year I went with total # per kid (for my 3). This year we are collaboratively buying for SIX kids. My 9 year old is getting a KindleFire (thanks for those who pushed us in that direction. I'm so excited for her). She and I had the sit down... santa fiction talk and knows our $ is super tight and she's TOTALLY ok with getting the one thing (although SO wants to get her at least an outfit too).. the other 5 are being budgeted AND similar #. Our 7,6, 5, and 4 year olds will probably get two medium ticket items, and a smaller one maybe. Our 3 year old will probably get the smaller items but the same number. Each year the kids usually only ask for 2-3 things anyway and are not particular yet on name brand toys or clothes. We are looking at probably 50-60 bucks for each child. And I like to think I shop... but in all reality my SO has taken the reigns on the financials so he calls the shots... (and I'm TOTALLY ok with that)!

[EmmsCreative]

i get all the presents except my partners parents they are fussy so i leave that to him lol..my girls are aged 7 and 4 so i try and get the same number of presents and spend a similar amount so its equal all round

[Keely~B]

I do the vast majority of the shopping but we always discuss our plans. I do my very best to keep things fair but I don't feel the need to keep things exactly even as far as dollar amount or number of gifts. My kids are wonderful gift receivers and don't ask for a whole lot, I focus more on giving them what they really want. If one is receiving an expensive gift, I wrap a couple of smaller inexpensive things so they're there to unwrap but I don't sweat it too much. I've heard no complaints and I don't know that they've ever kept tabs.

[rach3975]

I do all the gift shopping. We aim for a similar budget. When the kids were younger I tried to keep the numbers comparable, but my 10 year old is getting to an age where he'd rather get a smaller number of bigger gifts. This year we'll probably spend a little more on him since his birthday fell during the government shutdown when DH wasn't getting a paycheck so we spent less than usual.

I just ordered a new graphics card for the computer my kids share. If that doesn't fix it, their big gift this year will need to be a computer.

[nun69]

Originally Posted by maryinaz

As long as they get what is on their list, they are happy.

I do all the shopping ecxcept for something here or there DH thinks the kids would want and I don't keep track.....I buy things on sale throughout the year that I know would be good stocking stuffers and I know Peyton want's Skylanders for Christmas so sometimes whwn I go to WalMart I pick one up and just put it away...I have also bought a bunch of books and stuff for them that I haven't really kept track of, but becaus eof their ages (20.12/7/6) all of their tastes are different and like Mary, as long as they get the big thing or several things on their list they have never had an issue with who got what Luckily!!!! a few years back Sam got a laptop and Ben a new Nintendo 3DS and the 2 littles got a Leapfrog and a Leapfrog TAG reader (the 2 littles $$ didn't even compare to the 2 older kids but they were just as happy!!!!)

[SeattleSheri]

We don't do much planning and there isn't a designated present purchaser either -- so we don't track # of gifts or value, but we both generally check to make sure it's reasonably equitable. Many of the gifts are used by both of our boys since they are fairly close in age (7 & 9).

[nun69]

Originally Posted by nesser1981

I do the same dollar amount, but I also try to make sure they have the same amount to open, so if one has 2 or 3 things more, I'll wrap a couple things together.

I do this too I am known to put things together in theme type boxes...like this year my son will probably get a box filled with Skylander things....my middle son likes Colts things so he will probably get a theme like that and my oldest last year got an Alice IN Wonderland themed box including the movie, Chesire plush, Old Alice book and some Alice themed Disney pins......I htink I have just as much fun shopping for them as they do opening them

[julifish]

Angie - I think I have just as much fun shopping and planning for my kids as they do opening everything too. This was really interesting to read. I expected to hear a lot more people say they only do the Want, Need, Wear, Read gift giving. Thanks so much for sharing everyone! It made me think a little bit differently about how I want to do things this year.

[nesser1981]

Beware when you start buying Skylanders if you're anything like me, you'll get just as addicted to them as the kids! LOL!

Sean likes the game too, but I think we have close to $400 invested in the giant series.

Originally Posted by nun69

I do this too I am known to put things together in theme type boxes...like this year my son will probably get a box filled with Skylander things....my middle son likes Colts things so he will probably get a theme like that and my oldest last year got an Alice IN Wonderland themed box including the movie, Chesire plush, Old Alice book and some Alice themed Disney pins......I htink I have just as much fun shopping for them as they do opening them

[SmallMoments]

I do the shopping, but pretend like I'm including Joel by asking if he approves. One year I did it all and he acted offended. HE's NEVER wanted any part of it before. :lol:

With just one kid, it's easy to keep it equal. My parents, however, have four grandkids (and they did the same when my sister and I were kids)... they spend the same amount and have the same amount of gifts.

[Summer_Mom3]

I do all the shopping but we do go through the list of what I plan to get them. I always get them the same number of presents and a big present to share. My kids are 10 months apart and wouldn't understand spending the same amount vs not having the same number of presents.