Anxiety

[joelsgirl]

When we flew back to the PHilippines last month, we had to do a ten day hotel quarantine before we could fly to the city where we live. Halfway through my quarantine, I came down with a pelvic infection that put me in the ER. I spent five days in the hospital, and the abdominal pain was gone almost as soon as the antibiotics got in my system. But the chills and nausea and heart palpatations and general feeling like I might die refused to go away. I would have 3-4 hour episodes with these symptoms. I kept telling the nurses about it, and they wouldn't do anything, which made me even more worried that they were going to send me home with undiagnosed symptoms. I finally had a nurse really sit down and listen to me, and he suggested I speak with the psychaiatrist because he felt like those were symptoms of anxiety.

I'm familiar with the kind of anxiety I feel when I'm stressed about missing my flight or my kid is in a taxi and isn't answerign his phone, kwim? Like my stomach hurts and I fixiate and I get cranky, but this is a whole new experience for me.

Once I talked to the psychiatrist and she said, "Your anxiety is legitimate." I stopped having chills/nausea, etc. But I'm still waking up in the night with my heart racing and my feet numb, and that seems to be from the anxiety. It's so weird to me because I'm not feeling stressed about my health right now, so I don't understand why I'm still having panic attacks in the middle of the night.

I'd love to hear about other people's experiences with anxiety, especially if you've found ways to manage it. The doctor has given me Lyrica for daytime use and Rivotril for night time use, but I'm hoping it's just a temporary solution.

[tjscraps]

I struggled with anxiety a lot when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer (5 months from diagnosis to when he passed). I found breathing in a square to be most effective for me to calm myself and get out of the anxiety rut. https://www.healthline.com/health/bo...#slowly-exhale

[LJSDesigns]

I have anxiety that manifests itself in not being able to sleep because my mind refuses to shut down. I recently thought I would go off my anxiety meds, because I was not feeling anxious per say and figured it was fine, only to find out that my blood pressure went up, I slept less and snapped at people more. My doctor said that the more physical symptoms, like the blood pressure, may not be as noticible to me, but it is how my body deals with the anxiety, thus I needed to stop being silly and go back on my meds. I did and I feel so fine still, but my blood pressure is lower too. I think some symptoms are sneaky that way.

The type of anxiety symptoms you had in the hospital, I have only had a few times and those times were when someone I loved was dying or had died unexpectedly. I am a pull yourself up by the boot straps person, so I approach death by getting what needs done, done. Since I push everything down while I am dealing with stuff, those symptoms will sneak up on me and I only know they are coming when my hands start shaking.

In my case it is definitely the stuff I repress that causes those more intense symptoms of anxiety. My regular anxiety is just because my mind is always going. I always fall asleep with a song in my head and wake up to right at the spot I fell asleep. I think it would make me crazy if I weren't so used to it. It is interesting to note that it is the same way for my brother, but my sister can turn her mind off in a minute. Lucky duck.

I manage mine as best I can with medicine and keeping busy and I still only sleep about 4 hours a night. Again, I am used to it.

[Leablahblah]

I have anxiety but haven't talked to any doctor about it. I'm hoping to start therapy when I get to the front of the waitlist. If I were offered meds I would refuse. I'm sure it helps tons of people but I feel like it's something I would get used to and depend on and I don't want to be dependent on drugs. I already take a lot of advil or tylenol for my headaches, don't need something else.

My anxiety doesn't wake me up and I have never heard of feet being numb from that. Could it be something else?

I would prefer to take natural remedies for my anxiety. I would be open to CBD or a glass of wine a night (even though I don't like wine and rarely drink) if it were to help me manage. Or just retrain my brain to not have scary thoughts with the help of a therapist.

I hope someone here has better answers.

[YepBrook]

Kellie, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. I can relate to much of what you're going through. I have never considered myself an anxious person, but in the last couple of years (most notably since the beginning of the pandemic) I've definitely noticed it affects me at times. I am convinced that a lot of it has to do with age (I am 41 as of June) hormones and my cycle. I've started tracking it and the times when it is bad often coordinate with the week before my period, especially. My symptoms include heart racing, nightmares, insomnia, and anxious-obsessive thoughts and worry. Triggered by: absolutely nothing I can pinpoint.

During that time, I try to eat cleaner. Pray more. Take time to journal before bed. Take walks. Reduce sugar and carbs, up my intake of magnesium and B vitamins. It's helped some. I also take melatonin during those times. Drinking tea helps a lot too. There are a ton of mood boosting teas to choose from.

[Neverland Scraps]

Kellie, I feel you on this so much!! I've NEVER been one to have or deal with anxiety before. But in the beginning of 2020 something drastic happened in our family and I had my first anxiety attack - like I literally thought I was going to die! My heart was racing, my body was shaking, I even blacked out at one point! It's been 1.5 years and the attacks come, not nearly as bad as that initial attack, but I've been able to talk myself through them.

When I start to get lightheaded, like I'm going to pass out, I start counting to myself and telling myself "it's okay", "I'll be okay", "I'm just stressed or worried", I slow my breathing - in my nose and out my mouth and I start to focus on those things, I can feel the waves of anxiety wash over me to where I was before the attack hit me.

Having attacks, they are scary. If I am unable to control them or bring myself around quickly, they wipe me out and I'm exhausted! I try to make sure I'm sleeping better, eating better and focusing more on the good, rather than the "what ifs" or negative that I might be dealing with in the moment.

I was following your story on FB and I'm SO glad you are doing better, able to come home. You've had a very stressful couple of weeks and I hope you are able to find a calm being home with your family

[KristinCB]

I have pretty bad anxiety and I have physical symptoms. I try to go for a lot of walks. Getting out at least once a day really helps. I'm not sure if you are able to do the same but some sort of physical activity to clear my head helps. Listening to audiobook novels as an escape gets me out of my head as well. I amy on meds but just in the last few days I also recently started taking a vitamin/supplement called L-Theanine. I am unsure yet if it's helping but maybe? I think it's too early to tell.

I've stopped drinking alcohol as well as I noticed that was starting to make my symptoms so much worse

[YepBrook]

Originally Posted by KristinCB

I have pretty bad anxiety and I have physical symptoms. I try to go for a lot of walks. Getting out at least once a day really helps. I'm not sure if you are able to do the same but some sort of physical activity to clear my head helps. Listening to audiobook novels as an escape gets me out of my head as well. I amy on meds but just in the last few days I also recently started taking a vitamin/supplement called L-Theanine. I am unsure yet if it's helping but maybe? I think it's too early to tell.

I've stopped drinking alcohol as well as I noticed that was starting to make my symptoms so much worse

That reminds me, caffeine makes mine worse. I don't have symptoms of anxiety all the time but if I can start to feel it returning, I cut back on coffee to only one small mug in the morning.

[KristinCB]

Originally Posted by YepBrook

That reminds me, caffeine makes mine worse. I don't have symptoms of anxiety all the time but if I can start to feel it returning, I cut back on coffee to only one small mug in the morning.

I am going to go by saying caffeine doesn't affect me forever and ever hahahaha. (i'm sure it does.. lol)

[iScrap]

I've always suffered from anxiety. Mental disorders are tough because they manifest themselves physically in so many different ways. Medications can be very helpful if there is something misfiring in your brain, but always 100% best to rule out a different cause for your physical symptoms first. I've never heard of foot pain related to anxiety, but the mind does weird things to the body under stress!

Sleeplessness is my most common symptom and I have found the Calm app to be very helpful along with my daily breathing exercises/meditations/prayer before bed.

My anxiety is generally well-managed after dealing with it for so long, but I will say COVID has tested even my most helpful methods along with menopause (hormone changes do such damage to our bodies!). I do my best to remove as much toxicity (positive or negative) as I can from my life, get daily sunlight, eat treats in moderation (I love food... haha), and keep doing what I know works long-term (like meditation) even if it doesn't seem to be helping in the moment. The body is looking to get rid of that stress somehow, so I give it as many healthy outlets as I can manage every day.

I really hope you find some relief to your symptoms and start feeling better soon!

[JoCee]

I didn't know I had anxiety... until I did.. and this hit me hard in my jaw/mouth.

I have nerve pain in my mouth/tongue and clench my jaw so badly that my teeth hurt and the muscles around them go into spasm and affects the nerves in my teeth.

I have been with a mouth pain doctor for a few years and he saved my sanity. I eventually got so good that he took me off the meds..and then lockdown number 4 hit down here, we are now in lockdown 6 (!!), and everything went out the door...

Thankfully he has put me back on the meds and hopefully they will kick in soon.

Plus from my upbringing I had anxiety that I didn't recognise, which I now do and so I have put in place a lot of boundaries that have helped reduce that part of my anxiety as well.

Our son suffers from anxiety too and is dealing with it brilliantly.. we are all huge supporters of seeing a psychologist so each one of us has/is seeing someone to help with all our stuff. He is 20 years old and told all his friends that he suffers and that as males, they need to talk about it and to be open about their struggles. He has the BEST friends, they rallied around him and supported him to the max. Made me cry to be honest that these kids are so amazing.

I hope that you are starting to feel better and with more understanding of your anxiety, what causes it and the effects of it ease soon. xx

[Dalis]

I do, and it manifest in so many ways even to the same person. I get pulsating headaches, sometimes stomach issues, sometimes I just snap at people, other times I don't have the energy to do anything and don't want to get out of bed.

About coffee, I know for a fact that if I don't drink coffee I am way more irritable, so I drink to save others.

[nun69]

Originally Posted by Dalis

I just snap at people, other times I don't have the energy to do anything and don't want to get out of bed.

This is me 100%...I take meds for mine (Zolfot 100 mg and clonidine which is actually a BP medicine but helps with all my hot flashes and constantly being hot 24/7 which contributes to my anxiety) and I take Trazadone 50 mg at night so I can shut my brain down. I struggle so bad with feeling like I NEVER ever get anything accomplished or everything I do I somehow manage to screw up or I just overall feel shitty about myself. It's this massive viscous circle and I HATE IT! I almost always feel super duper shitty about myself and I think that feeds into my anxiety on ever level.

I have been through individual therapy (some pretty intense one one one therapy for 4 months twice a week), CBT and CPT therapy along with couples therapy and group couples therapy. The therapy has given me alot of tools that I try to use daily and remember to remind myself that I can NOT do it all and I am doing the best I can.

Hang in there girl and if you ever need an shoulder to lean feel free to message me.

[joelsgirl]

Thanks to all of you for sharing your experienes with me. I've got an appointment to meet with a psychiatrist again because it all feels so out of my control. Maybe once I get finished with my antibiotics and get rid of my gallbladder, I'll stop worrying about death so much.

But really, I can't control bad things, and that seems to be at the root of my problem. I can't guarantee good health or the safety of the people I love, and deep down, that is what terrifies me. I always feel like Joel doesn't love our kids as much as I do since he doesn't constantly live with the fear that something might happen to them, even though I know that's not true.

I just listened to Glennon Doyle talk about anxiety on her podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, and it was so relatable to me. Except I wish she'd had an answer for it instead of saying it's just something she'll always live with. I like solid, concrete solutions. ; )

[bumblebeee]

It is interesting and scary how our minds can be. I also suffer from anxiety. Sadly when it comes to mental health there is no one way to make things better. That is still one of the hardest things I have had to accept. There are a lot of tools out there, some of which others have already mentioned (breathing, mindfulness, exercise, distraction and medication) Since our minds are truly unique to each individual it takes that extra time, patience, and trying things over and over again to learn what works best for you.

For me it depends on the anxiety. When it is mild I could just notice that my jaw is clenched and I know that I need to do some controlled breathing, and some relaxation. When I start shaking, I need to move. When I am all up in my head, I need to first learn what is going on, and use some CBT skills on like challenging my thoughts (ex. feeling like I am letting someone down and challenging that to understand that it is just my interpretation and not facts) and once I do that and they still are persisting then I move on to some distractions. And then there are some attacks where I do have to turn to medication. But I do remember (and still get frustrating even today after 10+ years of trying to understand it) that it was so hard in the beginning for me. It is not like breaking a leg and you put it in a cast and it heals. You basically have to retrain your brain, by putting in the work.

I do hope that you can get some more tools to help you. And talking things through will also provide you with some ideas on where it is coming from. Add not feeling well physically doesn't help either. I do hope things go well for your surgery

[Sherri Tierney]

Kellie, I'm so sorry. Anxiety is very real and really messes with our bodies. I hope you find some answers soon that will help you navigate this. I also wish there were concrete solutions. I sure haven't found any.

I have suffered from anxiety since I was a small child. Some of the things that happened to me then still make me very anxious if I let myself think about them. Oddly, I've never been treated for anxiety. I have been treated for depression though.

This week my anxiety is through the roof. I'm so grumpy. I can't focus on anything, and I feel very antsy and 'blah'. It is hard to explain. I know exactly why I am feeling it though, so I am trying to ride it out. I return to work next week and I am starting a new position. I'm not anxious about the new position as much as letting go of the old one. That probably makes no sense, but I loved my job of the last 8 years and felt like part of my identity was rooted in my position. Now I will be doing something new and I feel a loss.

[joelsgirl]

I love all of you so much. Thank you again for sharing your experiences with me.

Last night I remembered that in my everyday level of anxiety (which I now classify as just "irrational worry" as opposed to my current "physical symptoms that make me think I need hospitalization"), sex really helps. And since I've been sick and in the hospital for the last three weeks, it's been a while. So once we worked that out, I'm now back in my head and thinking clearly and who would ever have imagined that sex would have such magical properties??

[KristinCB]

hahahaha go kellie go LOL

[Cheryl Ashcraft]

I have struggled with anxiety for years, and have been on medication. Most of the time, I would have difficulty breathing and would be unable to stop an avalanche of bad thoughts.

I was scheduled for my spinal cord stimulator surgery in 2017, and a bunch of junk happened with my surgeon and his placement at the medical center and his privileges at the hospital. It was a huge run around, and my surgery ended up being postponed. I got very upset that day, but felt calm and accepting but THEN I started having facial numbness and just felt overall WEIRD.

Off we went to the ER, where I was triaged and sent straight back for a CT. They were looking for possible stroke. Boy, did that send me through the roof more! At the end of the day, I was diagnosed as having an anxiety attack.

I haven't had one since, but I know that fearful feeling and utter misery. I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this, especially during this time when everything is so crazy and unsure. I'm praying for you, that you will find treatment or medication that will help you overcome the anxiety.

And for anyone else who has posted in this thread, I'm praying for you as well.

[Sherri Tierney]

Originally Posted by gonewiththewind

I have struggled with anxiety for years, and have been on medication. Most of the time, I would have difficulty breathing and would be unable to stop an avalanche of bad thoughts.

I was scheduled for my spinal cord stimulator surgery in 2017, and a bunch of junk happened with my surgeon and his placement at the medical center and his privileges at the hospital. It was a huge run around, and my surgery ended up being postponed. I got very upset that day, but felt calm and accepting but THEN I started having facial numbness and just felt overall WEIRD.

Off we went to the ER, where I was triaged and sent straight back for a CT. They were looking for possible stroke. Boy, did that send me through the roof more! At the end of the day, I was diagnosed as having an anxiety attack.

I haven't had one since, but I know that fearful feeling and utter misery. I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this, especially during this time when everything is so crazy and unsure. I'm praying for you, that you will find treatment or medication that will help you overcome the anxiety.

And for anyone else who has posted in this thread, I'm praying for you as well.

That is scary, Cheryl! I once thought I was having a heart attack when it was an anxiety attack. It was the night before I was to take my son to summer camp. The camp is 2 hours away and I had never drive up by myself (and had only went up one other time, so it was pretty unfamiliar). I thought I was mentally prepared to make the trip, but the night before I started having heart palpitations, sweats, and jaw pain. I am stubborn so I didn't go to the hospital, but I did chew an aspirin just in case it was my heart. I didn't sleep at all that night. The next morning my husband got up and found me on the couch. I told him I hadn't slept and didn't want to keep him awake. I had finally relaxed a little and was exhausted, so I decided to take a 30 minute nap before getting on the road after he left for work. About 15 minutes later, he came back in the house and said he was going to go in for 2nd shift that day because he didn't want me driving on no sleep. I don't think he will ever know how grateful I was for that! Oddly, at the end of the week when I had to pick my son up from camp, I made the trip just fine. Anxiety is weird like that. Driving is one of my triggers, unfortunately. I can drive around town all day and it doesn't bother me, but sometimes driving out of town will have me in tears and white knuckling the steering wheel.

[Sherri Tierney]

Originally Posted by joelsgirl

I love all of you so much. Thank you again for sharing your experiences with me.

Last night I remembered that in my everyday level of anxiety (which I now classify as just "irrational worry" as opposed to my current "physical symptoms that make me think I need hospitalization"), sex really helps. And since I've been sick and in the hospital for the last three weeks, it's been a while. So once we worked that out, I'm now back in my head and thinking clearly and who would ever have imagined that sex would have such magical properties??

Irrational fears is what my doctor called it when I was in one of the biggest anxiety battles of my life. He didn't offer any support, just told me to get more sleep. I had a new baby and a husband who worked 12 hour shifts all night and wasn't home much. I still find that irrational fears crop up. I have to really talk myself through them.

I've read about sex being good for pain management as well, so I can imagine how it would help anxiety in some people.

[LJSDesigns]

Originally Posted by joelsgirl

Thanks to all of you for sharing your experienes with me. I've got an appointment to meet with a psychiatrist again because it all feels so out of my control. Maybe once I get finished with my antibiotics and get rid of my gallbladder, I'll stop worrying about death so much.

But really, I can't control bad things, and that seems to be at the root of my problem. I can't guarantee good health or the safety of the people I love, and deep down, that is what terrifies me. I always feel like Joel doesn't love our kids as much as I do since he doesn't constantly live with the fear that something might happen to them, even though I know that's not true.

When my husband died, I became terrified that every time someone I loved walked out the door, they were not coming back. It was paralyzing in a lot of ways and because of it, I have never really put my heart out there like that again. I just know something bad will happen and I can't go through that heartbreak again.

It sounds insane to say that, but I also have huge trust issues because of it. I know people are going to die, and I have lost my mom and dad since then, but they were older and ill, so it was kind of a blessing, but I don't trust that the next man I love will not die, so it is easier not to love like that. It is really sad in a lot of ways, but I have dealt with it and the choices I made because of it and found my own kind of happiness. But I still wish I had not let that fear grab hold of me like it did.

I hope you find a better way to deal with the fear and it sounds like you have a good head start with the sex therapy!